Let's Unpack Effective Leadership

Article #6: Lighten Up 

(Please note that my writing this week about the topic of not taking ourselves too seriously is not intended to minimize the severity of the health and economic crisis that we are currently facing. Given the circumstances, I hope that a lighter topic might offer a brief respite from the grim statistics and heartbreaking stories that we are confronted with each day. My sincere best wishes to you and your families for good health.)

I wrote about humility in my previous article, and a close cousin to being humble is not taking yourself too seriously. Let’s face it, you're going to make mistakes along the way…probably quite a few of them. We all do. Admittedly some may be more serious than others but, when it’s appropriate, why not have a little fun with them! A good laugh is always better than a scowl or a tantrum. Laughter also bonds people, even if it’s at your own expense. 

For me, a story that comes to mind occurred during a party when I and twenty-one others completed our sales training program at my first employer. Graduation from the program was an honored tradition at our company, and, as such, was attended by a number of senior executives, including our division president, and hosted by the gentleman responsible for our national sales force.  

The new graduates being feted that evening were counseled beforehand to be on our best behavior given the considerable influence that those in attendance could have on our careers. First impressions would be made and remembered, so we all approached the open bar with an uncharacteristic amount of caution throughout the evening. 

Our host’s home was gorgeous, as was the backyard area where we gathered. A series of small dinner tables surrounded the beautifully lit pool, the centerpiece of the affair. Pleasant conversation about the company’s history, traditions and culture accompanied a delicious meal, and, as darkness fell, the after-dinner mingling continued. 

I soon noticed the division president standing by himself on the other side of the pool. He was an actuary and an introvert, so I knew that if we were going to meet, the first move would need to be mine. As an ambitious young employee looking to create a lasting first impression, I quickly made my way toward him, walking around the outline of the pool. Unfortunately, in my haste to introduce myself, I failed to see the unlit hot tub immediately adjacent to the pool. As I extended my right hand to formally introduce myself, I walked right into the middle of the hot tub, and became completely submerged. Amid a combination of shock and disbelief, I sheepishly resurfaced to find looks of confusion among the other attendees. What are you doing in there? Were you overserved? Did someone push you in? 

The division president didn't know what had happened either, but fearing that the party had taken a more rambunctious turn, he quickly said his goodbyes and fled the scene. I, in turn, got my wits about me, lifted myself out of the water, and reassured everyone that I wasn’t hurt and hadn’t had too much to drink, but instead just never saw the hot tub. Needless to say, everyone at the party was soon in stitches. 

This story is retold whenever I’m with my former colleagues, and we still laugh out loud. I also understand that those now running the sales training program at my former employer share it on the first day of class, apparently as an example of how careers can carry on successfully even after a rough start! 

As a footnote, the division president was called at home that evening and told of what really happened. From that point on, he always remembered me, even if only to ask how my scuba lessons were going whenever he passed me in the hallway. It wasn’t exactly how I intended to make a lasting impression but...mission accomplished!! 

I’ve told this embarrassing story over the years in public forums as well as in private conversations. It helps to break the ice and to put people at ease, often enough to share similar stories of their own. It’s not the only one I have, but it’s probably the best.

We’ve all had our share of goofs, gaffes and embarrassing moments. Embrace yours and you’ll create closer and more genuine relationships with those that you lead.