Let's Talk About Stress

Before reading the article, this week on the Quietly Visible podcast, Lillian Lartey Lillian Lartey shares her story of experiencing chronic stress and burnout, what she did to recover, and ways to manage stress, particularly for those who are introverted, and highly sensitive. Click on the podcast link above, open in another tab, and save to listen later. And don't forget, please subscribe, share, and leave a review.

I remember when I was first promoted to senior leader and a retired CEO told me to be careful that I didn’t let my role consume me and take over my life. He told me the story of how as a CEO, he gradually let work consume his life to the point that he remembered having set off for work one morning then woke up in hospital, not knowing how he had got there.

He thought that he must have suffered a stroke or had a heart attack, but the doctor told him it was stress related. That was a wakeup call for him and he modified his work life so that he wasn’t working ridiculously long hours and got a healthy balance to his life. 

At the time I told him that it wouldn’t happen to me. However, with the passage of time and the demand and pressures of my role… budget cuts, reduced headcounts and targets needing to be met, I gradually found myself working excessive hours. Working at home in the evenings and weekends, and never fully switching off.

Thankfully, I recognised that I was stressed before it became too late. I took myself off to a retreat, came back feeling refreshed, reinvigorated, and with a new approach.

For many leaders, the boundaries between work and their personal lives have been blurred

I often have leaders come to me for coaching because they recognise that if they do not address their situation, they will burnout. The boundaries between work and their personal lives have been blurred, even more so during the past year whilst working from home.

I liken them to swans. Successful, calm, graceful and poised on the outside, but underneath frantically paddling to stay afloat. Imposter syndrome, perfectionism, self-doubt, and their self-confidence having been knocked are quite common, and this perpetuates the stress.

Whilst a moderate level of stress can be good for us, in that it can help us to perform better, keep us alert at interviews and whilst public speaking. It even helps us respond to dangerous situations. However, if not addressed, excessive or prolonged stress can lead to physical and emotional exhaustion, fatigue, anxiety, and illness.

Do something about it

Recognising when you are stressed and doing something about it is important. Being aware of what your stressors are, means you can put things in place to minimise the effect. One of the biggest threats that bring about stress for introverts is overstimulation. This is because being overly stimulated is draining. By getting to know the environments and situations that drain your energy, you can take preventative and remedial action.

One way in which you can consciously do something to manage stress and get your teams to think about how they can too, is getting involved in Stress Down Day next Friday. An initiative started by FirstLight Trust, a charity for hard to reach UK Veterans. They prove to them they aren't alone or too different to fit into civilian society.

Stress Down Day promotes positive mental health while raising funds for veterans. It shines a light on the problem, raises awareness, and provides practical, relevant solutions. Through Stress Down Day, FirstLight wish to drive and encourage conversations about stress and the impact it has on individuals.

Support yourself and your staff on Stress Down Day

Employers are asked to support staff to make time during the day to do activities that relieve stress. Children can get involved too, and I think showing children fun techniques on how to manage stress will help them better manage it as they grow. As stated by Dorinda Wolfe Murray, CEO of FirstLight Trust Happy people mean happy families, mean happy communities; decreased cost to NHS/Emergency Services/less debt/isolation etc.’

As restrictions start to lift and we’re able to enjoy spending more time with those we love, now is the perfect time to come together virtually to re-connect and focus on what makes us happy; people, pets, exercise, good food, music, art – when you think about it the list is endless.

Stress Down Day is all about focusing on small actions (breathing, stretching etc) that help us to de-stress; by making this part of our routine we can prevent stress and improve our mental health. This campaign exists to support veterans of our emergency services – work that is more vital than ever before.

They have some fantastic events coming up that you, your colleagues, friends, and family can take part in, including yoga, live music and a baking competition.

Ways you can support Stress Down Day:

1.     Take a picture/video of you or your pet ‘de-stressing’, use the hashtag #StressDownDayUK and tag FirstLight Trust on:

Instagram: @stressdownday and @firstlight_trust

Facebook: @firstlighttrust

Twitter: @firstlighttrust

LinkedIn: @firstligh-trust

2.     Come up with a quote for Stress Down Day as expressed by pets and enter the competition at this link – see hilarious example of Pepper above (you could win a one-hour coaching session with me)! https://stressdownday.uk/photo-competition/

3.     Take part in fantastic activities and competitions through their website, including yoga, live music, and baking: https://stressdownday.uk/

4.     Donate to Stress Down Day and help support veterans of the emergency services: https://stressdownday.uk/donate/

5.     Purchase some fab Stress Down Day merchandise from the web shop: https://stressdownday.uk/shop/

6.     Circulate to your friends, family, and network to reach as far and wide as possible and give Stress Down Day the engagement it deserves in working towards promoting positive mental health and helping support our emergency services.

What can you do to increase awareness of Stress Down Day and encourage others to take part in managing their stress levels, as well as managing your own? Please let me know below.

About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach, Speaker and Trainer, and 4 times LinkedIn Top Voice UK. Known as The Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, I coach women who are senior leaders to be visible, to confidently exude presence, to influence, and make an impact.

I also provide workshops, webinars and talks on personal development, career development and leadership development.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment here. 

?My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows how these challenges can be overcome. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. You can get your copy here along with a FREE recording of my How to Overcome Imposter Syndrome workshop.