Let's Talk Purpose

This morning I recorded one of my favorite podcast episodes* I've recorded to date with my friend Tor Njamo (owner of rflekt) on Life Purpose.

I thought I'd spend a little time sharing in this article what I'd discussed with him, and some insights on purpose, for wherever you are in your journey toward living it.

Your purpose is that which you are compelled to do in life.

It is completely aligned with who you truly are, your most authentic self, and the work that you feel you must do on this Earth. 

When I was a little kid in Catholic school, I was taught that priests and nuns become priests and nuns because it's their vocation, not a job. My 8-year old self thought 'vocation' sounded way cooler than 'job'.

The word 'vocation' comes from the Latin vocatio, from vocare, which means 'to call'.

In other words, the word 'vocation' basically means 'calling'.

I knew as a kid I'd rather have a 'calling' than a 'job'. I for sure didn't want to be a nun, though.

A job, a career, and a calling are three different things.

This is how Elle Luna defines them: 

A job: Something typically done from 9-5 for pay.

A career: A system of advancements and promotions over time where rewards are used to optimize behavior.

A calling: Something that we feel compelled to do regardless of fame or fortune; the work is the reward.

Even if you are truly living your purpose, you may find you spend the majority of your life in a job or a career, and that's 100% okay. 

Your journey is unique, and nothing you can do can mess it up.

Your purpose isn't what you do. It's who you are.

You're always yourself, in any situation. You may not be the same version of yourself with your partner as you are at work, but you're still yourself. 

Some situations allow you to be more yourself than others. They allow you to shine in a way that other situations wouldn't. 

For instance, chocolate is chocolate, and has a very distinct flavor. Chocolate mixed with butter in a flourless chocolate cake or mixed with milk in hot chocolate doesn't taste the same as chocolate on pizza.

Just like you, the chocolate will flourish more as its true, delicious self more naturally in some situations than others. 

Being is easier than doing, and being is behind all the doing.

You're still being yourself, whoever that is, no matter what you do. Chocolate never stops being chocolate. 

Your purpose can only be found within.

No other person can tell you what your purpose is, and you can't find it externally. 

You may have known it as a young child. Some children already know they're artists for instance, and grow up being told they need to get a "real job" and then they lose their purposes. Some of these artists find it again as they get older, and some don't.

You may have had a purpose partially formed as a child. 

As a child, I loved performing. I loved painting. I loved being alone. I loved throwing parties and organizing things. I loved wearing costumes. I loved pretending. 

As I got older, I realized I had a gift for communication and bringing people together. I had a gift for creating safe spaces and encouraging and inspiring others to do what they're compelled to do. 

If you've lived your life a little bit, you may find that your purpose becomes fully formed as you become aware of society's shortcomings.

You may realize your purpose has to do with righting a lot of wrongs. 

Your purpose is a mix of your strengths, your skills, your passions, and your struggles. 

- Make a list of all your strengths. Include things that can never be taken away, even if you lost everything. I know if the world were coming to an end I'd still be resourceful and adaptable. You have strengths of your own. Ask yourself what they are and write them down. 

- Make a list of all your skills. What have you learned? What was your degree in? What do you know how to do? What else are you really good at? What did you learn in your other jobs/career? Your skills are expertise or knowledge you've acquired.

- Make a list of everything you love and care about. What can you spend hours talking about with a friend? What can you spend hours researching? What would you study if someone gave you a $100,000 education grant? What would you do if money didn't exist?

- Make a list of your struggles. What have you struggled with in the past and overcome? Who in your close circle struggles with something, and what is that? Do you know their struggle as if it were your own? What was a big lesson you had to learn? What are you struggling with now? 

Look at these four lists, and find ways they connect. There is a calling there. If you need to, find a friend or someone you trust who supports you to help you find the connection.

Your purpose makes you proud.

If you were to write your obituary today, would you be proud of what it says you accomplished? What do you want it to say? 

Your purpose is the North Star* of your goals, and the direction of your life. 

Your goals are not your purpose. Your goals aren't even really your real goals. How will reaching your goals feel? The feeling you want is your real goal. How can you start to feel those feelings now? What can you do today?

Everyone I've spoken to who has discovered their purpose has found that at its essence, it is something that will benefit others. It's never something that will harm others.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all lived our purposes.

As a Life Purpose and Career Coach, my calling is to close the gap between income and purpose in people's lives. 

Before your biological needs are taken care of (including paying rent). it's a lot harder to live your purpose or even have the desire to.

But then, I've had people come to me who have 6 figure jobs and still don't feel fulfilled. (Tale as old as time).

The biggest reason people don't live purposefully is that they're afraid. They're most commonly afraid of not being able to pay for things, of failure, and of judgment.

Let's be clear: your life purpose doesn't have to be separate from how you get income. 

If it is truly your purpose, there is a way that you can monetize it. And if we think of it as a way of being rather than a specific thing you're doing, there are many, many different careers you can choose that align with your purpose.

Ask yourself where you are in your journey to living your purpose. 

Ask yourself where you want to be. 

And if where you want to be is living your purpose and having the income you want from it, schedule a call with me here.

Love, 

Arielle

*If you'd like to listen, it'll be up on the rflekt podcast site wherever podcasts live.

*"Like the sparks of imagination from which dreams are formed, stars represent limitless possibilities and infinite wonder. Over the years, Polaris (or the North Star) has come to be associated with direction and purpose, glowing bright to guide our heart's true desires." - Brendon Cunha