Let's talk mistakes

Happy Monday everyone. Let's talk briefly about mistakes - what they mean, and how to handle them. I'll apply this to the workplace though in truth it could be applied more generally, I think. Full dusclosure - I've made a ton of both.

There are two types of mistakes - the one off, and the constant.

The one off is easy - and it's easy because we all make them. I reckon - and this is a rough guess - I probably make one mistake a month, give or take. It could be that I get a timezone wrong for an interview, or I overlook a CV and miss something golden on it. It could be anything, really. And these mistakes are okay: mistakes happen. It's worth, I think, repeating that again - mistakes happen. If you think you don't make mistakes at work then please trust me when I say you're just not seeing them. Everybody does. The pace we work at today, the amount of plates we all spin - it's impossible not to.

Years ago when I was a trainee solicitor, I messed up on a deadline for submitting a form to the court. It cost my law firm at the time probably a couple of thousand pounds because we then had to restart the process and this time do it all for free. My boss called me into his office and said something which has stuck with me ever since. We all make mistakes, he said - but what's important is how we deal with them. Don't try to shirk responsibility - own up, own the mistake and make it right. That advice is something that has stuck with me ever since, and something I try to practice every time it happens.

The second mistake is the constant mistake - you keep making the same one over and over again. It's much worse, in so many different ways. Firstly, it's not good for your colleagues because they stop trusting you. It's not good for you because your confidence nosedives and it WILL start affecting your mental health.

Here's the thing, though. Making the same mistake over and over again is a sign that something more fundamental is wrong. My attention to detail as a solicitor was terrible, and I kept making mistakes. I hated it. I knew I wasn't a good solicitor, and I knew my colleagues knew it too - which made me feel even worse.

I worked as a solicitor for three years after qualifying, before quitting on the spur of the moment one November morning in 2004. Three long, miserable years. I hated - no, dreaded - going into the office every single morning.

I grew up in a single parent family on a council estate in Belfast. My dad, my uncle and my brother were in the IRA - my brother was abducted and killed by them in 1993. For a while I worked at a law firm in Tunbridge Wells. Nice enough people, but I had absolutely nothing in common with my colleagues and felt utterly out of place. I'd sit at my desk sometimes, think of my older brother's death and how my younger brother, back in Belfast, was in and out of jail for IRA offences. 'WTF am I doing here?' I'd ask myself. I wasn't just a square peg in a round hole - I should have been in a different box completely. As a trainee I remember having a conversation with my boss, the same one who gave me the mistake advice I’ve never forgotten. He could tell I was unhappy, and when I said I didn’t know if law was for me, that there must be more to life than ‘this’ (I said, gesturing with my arms to indicate the office) he looked at me like I was mad. Billable hours, kids in private schools, holiday homes. It just all seemed so pointless when so many people struggled – and continue to struggle – to get by.

And I LOVED video games. I'd rush home from work at half five and play games online with friends. It was partly the suspension of disbelief and partly a social life away from an office where I felt I didn’t belong. Hence, when one thing led to another and I started working in video games, it was a bit of a dream come true.

I digress slightly, to make a point. I was a terrible lawyer (though I’ve since heard there were people who were worse, which makes me fear for them). I made the same mistakes, mainly a lack of attention to detail, way, way too often. I was miserable, and I knew some of the partners around me didn’t trust me.

?And the reason I kept making those mistakes was simple: fundamentally, I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I wasn’t where I belonged. If you find yourself constantly making mistakes then be honest with yourself, because deep down you probably already know you’re in a hole. Ask for help, and if you need to change jobs then do that. Life is too short to be miserable, and too short to inflict on yourself the unhappiness that comes from constantly messing up. Trust me, I know. ?

You’ll find your niche, you just need to keep looking. Trust me, I know.

?

#worklife #work #mistakes #bestilfe #mentalhealth