I choose to self-care every day

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I invite you to stop for a minute and think about these questions. I feel some eyerolling here, just get on with it!

What's the first thing you do in the morning? and the last thing in the evening? Do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking about work related issues? Do you feel constantly under stress at work? Do you have co-workers who can share the burden with you? Do you have friends at work? Do you have detractors at work? What do you do on evenings, and weekends?

This is a quick and non-exhaustive survey that serves as a reality check. I do it every now and then when I feel that things are slipping of my hand as situations inside and outside of work evolve. So don't expect the answers to these questions to remain static.

Why does it help me?

First of all, it gives me a true sense of my energy sources and energy uses. We all get energy from sleep, that's a given. Next to that, I get energy from writing, reading, cycling, working out and meeting friends. When I come to the realisation that over the last 2 weeks I stopped doing most of these activities that bring me energy, and that I spend evenings and weeks ends Netflix binging (if I can allow myself, after kids are to bed!), then I plan intentionally 2 or 3 evenings to sport, meet someone to get it going again.

My takeaway is to learn what are your energy sources and uses inside and outside of work, and keep track of it.

Secondly, it allows me to keep certain routines in place. My idea is to tweak the way I do these things to provide me more pleasure and comfort. I like to call it rituals, and it doesn't mean that these are static and set in stone. It changes and evolves over time. For instance, since I committed to blogging, I now write or read every morning at 6 am, while drinking freshly brewed coffee and with a candle. My husband calls it 'Shaman' time in an attempt to make fun of me. I find it to be an agreeable way to start my day. This also allows me to get away from the trap of checking my emails first thing in the morning. Few years ago, if someone would tell me this, I would think they're insane. 

My takeaway here is to build habits, routine, rituals to create headspace for yourself to start & end the day in peace.

Thirdly, it allows me to keep track of my triggers. Triggers vary in level of intensity. For instance you don't particularly enjoy someone eating an apple in the open space. This can be a low intensity trigger. When your boss comes last minute with lots of comments on your final report whereas you requested input over and over again and nothing came up until two hours before the deadline. Once you know that's your trigger, then find a remedy that works for you (preferably not involving drinking or smoking). For small triggers, going for a walk, drinking a glass of water can help. For larger ones, it can be a run, a bath or a dinner with a close friend. It doesn't mean that the pain goes away, but it means that you are mentally more open and there's less ranting involved in the process.

My takeaway is to know your triggers and find remedies to be in control of your well-being.

Mental health is not binary. It’s not either you’re crazy or not. It doesn’t need to be visible so we acknowledge it. A person does not need to go around literally banging their head against the walls so you start getting worried. 

Never loose sight of the fact that it always comes down, in virtually every situation, to H2H relationship, i.e. Human to Human. H2H does not stop when you walk into the office. How can you convince your people to be customer centric, supportive to the clients especially in difficult times when you’re the first one to pull the plug on them in times of need?

Align your story with your behavior. 

So today, invite your co-worker who always eats alone for lunch , although you don’t like his or her humour. Ask your boss if everything is alright even after the acidic comments he gave you about your work. Take the time to look at your co-worker in the eyes when you ask 'how are you today'. You can make the difference for them today.

Sincerely yours,

Hind