Let’s talk: The Fear Factor

Let's talk about something I've seen way too much of in my career and well 'life' journey: the leader who thrives on fear.

I'm fortunate to have had some fantastic supervisors who understood that leadership is about respect, not fear. My new manager at the amazing company I'll be telling you about soon (stay tuned!) is another great example. These leaders create a space where you feel empowered to do your best work, and that's something I really appreciate.

However, I've also encountered leaders (and even colleagues) who seem to believe respect can be bought with fear. Maybe it's just me, but this kind of leadership style rubs me the wrong way. Because fear might keep people in line for a while, but the long-term result will be a miserable and unproductive team.

Here's what I don't understand: the satisfaction some people seem to get from keeping everyone on edge. Is it really empowering to make grown adults afraid to talk to you? I just don’t get it.

But the impact goes way beyond just the work itself. This kind of environment shrinks people. I've seen it firsthand. The talented person with a brilliant idea, too scared to bring it up for fear of the boss's reaction. The team that misses a deadline because no one dared to mention the roadblock they were facing. It can even be as subtle as an office attendant pouring coffee with jittery hands, worried about a comment on the temperature.

As someone who's very attuned to people's feelings, these situations get to me. Seeing talented individuals reduced to such a state is not only exhausting, it's angering.

This fear-based behavior isn't limited to workplaces or direct reports though. It's this pervasive idea that some people just love having power over anyone they perceive as "less than" them. The reality is, there's no such thing as "less than." The manager deserves respect, of course, but so does everyone else – from the janitor to the accounting team, receptionists, HR, marketing, office assistants, security guards... everyone! Treat everyone with the dignity they deserve as human beings.

I believe real leadership and genuine relationships are about building trust and respect.

So, to those humans out there who rely on fear, I urge you to try a different approach. Focus on building a team, not a fearful territory. You might even gain some real respect along the way. And more importantly, you might create a workplace where people feel valued, not just terrified.

On the other side of the coin, maybe next time I can cover how some people take your politeness to mean they can disrespect you. There's a balance to be struck, and respect has to go both ways.