Lets Talk About Crashing Out: Choosing Power Over Impulse

We’ve all heard the phrase “crashing out,” and if we’re being honest, we’ve all thought about it in certain moments. Crashing out happens when emotions take over, leading to impulsive actions that can blow up your life. And while everyone feels the urge sometimes, let’s be real: for Black people, crashing out can cost us a lot more than a bad reputation.

That said, there’s a question that lingers in the back of everyone’s mind: Are there times when crashing out is justified? And if so, how do you handle the aftermath?

What Does Crashing Out Look Like?

First, let’s define what we’re talking about. Crashing out isn’t just about wild, violent behavior—it can look different for everyone.

For example: the current president is, by definition, a certified crash-out artist. From inflammatory remarks to multiple legal entanglements, his behavior sends a loud message: Rules don’t apply if you have power or privilege. That’s the real frustration for so many of us.

How do you tell teens and young adults not to crash out when they’re watching people at the top of society seemingly get away with everything? Why should they listen to advice about self-control when the examples around them make it look like crashing out is the shortcut to attention and success?

This is where nuance comes in. Just because they’ve crashed out and survived doesn’t mean the same rules apply to us. Systems are not built to be fair—especially for Black and Brown people.

When Crashing Out Feels Justified

There are moments where anger is warranted. Being called the N-word or facing overt racism is one of those times when emotions are bound to flare. But let’s pause and ask: what’s the best response in those situations?

Crashing out in these moments might feel satisfying, but it usually shifts the narrative. The goal is to keep the spotlight on the real problem—not on your reaction to it.

How to Keep It Together in a Crash-Out Moment

Here’s where it gets practical. When you feel that heat rising, try these steps:

1. Pause and Breathe

Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8.

This calms your nervous system and gives you a second to think clearly.

2. Evaluate the Long Game

Ask yourself: “What happens if I react? What happens if I don’t?”

Think about your goals, your family, and your future.

3. Use Your Words Wisely

Sometimes, the most powerful response is to call out racism calmly and intelligently. Keep the focus on their ignorance, not your reaction.

4. Record Everything

In the age of smartphones, documentation is power. Capture the moment and let the evidence speak for itself.

5. Talk It Out Later

If the moment passes and you’re still angry, find a trusted person to vent to. They’ll help you process and avoid rash decisions.

Why Should Teens and Young Adults Listen?

Look, we get it. Adults aren’t always the best role models. The economy’s trash, the planet’s struggling, and most grown-ups are barely holding it together. But here’s the thing: our generation knows how it feels to crash out and regret it. We’re not trying to control you—we’re trying to protect you.

The truth is, the youth are inheriting a world full of challenges. But they also have the tools and potential to make it better. Crashing out won’t fix anything, but staying in control will give them the power to change the narrative.

Final Thought

The system might be stacked against Black people, but that doesn’t mean we have to play into its hands. Every time you resist the urge to crash out, you’re choosing to invest in yourself and your future.

So next time you’re tempted, remember: the loudest message you can send is the one that shows you’re in control. Play the long game—because you’re worth it.