Let's Talk Beliefs

"I Would Never Be Able to Do That"

Have you ever noticed how many times you have said (or thought) a version of "I cannot do that", "I'm not good at that", or "I would never be able to do that"?

Now, how many times have you challenged this assumption? How many times have you wondered if this belief was based on facts, on previous experience, or just on things you have heard other people say about you or in general before?

The thing about the beliefs we have is that they are also tricky to discover in the first place. We believe lots of things that we don't even know we believe in the first place. And even better, more often than not we don't have an idea why we believe them.

When this happens, the first common response is this one:

And, you will say "Well, then, how can I change them or challenge them if I do not even know these beliefs are there, inside me, inside my mind?"

And to this, I will respond "True, the only way to change or challenge the existence of something is by being aware of that something first".

To become more aware of the beliefs you have that constantly show up in your life, I want you to notice the patterns of repetitive binary, dichotomous thinking you have. The ones where it's either 'black or white', 'good or bad', 'success or failure', 'always or never', or 'capable or incapable'. The ones that show up as absolutes in your life.

Those are the beliefs, true or untrue, that you are constantly dealing with in your life. And the ones you honestly need to ask yourself and figure out if they are serving you and your goals or not.

Alternatively, the second common response is:

You may also say, "My beliefs are based on facts and previous experiences. I know these absolutes are true because I have lived them".

To that, I would respond, "Have you experimented and exhausted all options in which that belief you hold may be true/untrue and different from what you believe."

I especially noticed this type of response when I started doing cold plunges. People would often tell me: "I could never do that, I hate being cold" (truth: I hate being cold too, but that doesn't mean I cannot get cold); "I don't even take cold showers, I don't know how you can get into a tub of frozen cold water" (truth: I don't take cold showers either, they are different, and I still think cold showers can be even worse than cold plunges as the water is falling on top of you); "I'm not good with cold" (truth: I'm not good with cold either, I use sweaters everywhere year-round and I live in Florida!).

My point with this is that it's easy to hold beliefs that limit us and our behaviors as a way to keep us 'safe' and within our comfort zone. Because it's easier to say you cannot do things you haven't done before than to try something new.

So, today I have a question for you:

"How am I creating beliefs that don't serve me and the person I want to become?"

It's easier to think our capabilities and our opportunities are fixed and therefore, our bias is to default to what limits us.

This question forces you to pause and look toward what can expand you instead of limiting you.

Are your actions, mindsets, and patterns of behavior contributing to the obstacles and the limitations you encounter along the way?

Something to think and ponder about.

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