Let's Talk About Amber Heard...

[Keep in mind...I am NOT a Professional. Please take my words lightly]

?? TW: I speak about s**ual and domestic v**lence. You are allowed to leave this page if you wish ??        

Everyone says "don't talk about Bruno". But no one says "don't talk about Amber Heard". So lets talk.

Amber Heard.

The woman whose dog stepped on a bee and sat on her dirty carpet wondering why it was so dirty. Amber Turd - I mean, Heard, is the talk of the town. Well... the talk of the world it seems.

It all started from an op-ed she wrote in The Washington Post titling 'Opinion: I spoke up against sexual violence - and faced our culture's wrath. That has to change'. Johnny Depp, Heard's former Husband and alleged 'abuser', spoke up about these allegations in the post claiming that they were aimed at him. As a result, he filed a $50m lawsuit against her for defamation - now she is suing him for $100m.

Despite the evidence stacked against her so far, the purpose of this case is really only about two things:

1) Whether Amber Heard was referring to Johnny Depp in the first place, and with malicious intent

• During her cross-examination with Camille Vasquez, she reported that she was talking about Johnny Depp (among others) when she wrote "I had the rare vantage point of seeing, in real time, how institutions protect men accused of abuse"
• Defamation is pretty hard to prove because it's not easy to show that somebody is actually defaming someone else with malice in mind

2) If so, are those allegations true: Did Johnny Depp commit sexual violence and/or domestic abuse against Amber Heard?

This is not about whether Amber was abusive too - although it seems clear that both parties were toxic to each other, arguably more so on Amber's side. Psychologically speaking, they are not a healthy couple.

Trauma-Bonded Anxious-Avoidant Style Relationship

Both their upbringings have reinforced behaviours identical to the opposite sex parent. One of the reasons they were attracted to each other so much is because they reinforce what they have always known as a source of 'safety' e.g., it is 'safe' for Amber to be around violence as her dad beat her and her sister up; it is also 'safe' for Johnny to be romantically involved with women who are violent and exhibit persistent behaviour towards him because his late mother did the same thing. Safe to say, this is the only version of love they knew. Trauma-wise, they are the perfect fit.

Subconsciously, we all do this. As in, we tend to select romantic partners that resemble our childhood upbringing. If you recall having no parents at all, you may initially find yourself dating people who are typically non co-operative or interactive. Despite knowing the relationship is unhealthy, you stay. This is one of the reasons why domestic violence victims find it hard to leave their partners.

It Is Easier For Us to Categorise People Into Boxes

Our brains cannot physically store more than nine items at a time. We see it in action/fantasy movies a lot - there is almost always a villain, and a 'good guy'. One is bad, one is good. But real-life is just not like that. You, reading this, right now, probably hold at least one trait about yourself that is not particularly pleasant or would consider a 'weakness' (me included). That can mean a lot of things e.g., related to survival of the fittest, ability to make friends, or it could be something you have done that you are not too proud of e.g., calling your sister a bitch; whether or not she is one is not my place to say - that is your perception. And that's exactly it - perception.

When We Get Involved in Others' Relationship Issues, We Tend to Forget About Our Own Lives

Witnessing a couple insulting each other seems to have made us forget about times we may have insulted someone. It is almost as if those court recordings of Johnny and Amber arguing are completely foreign to us. Under the influence of physiological and/or psychological factors or not, many of us have - at least once - insulted somebody else. Perhaps as a way to make ourselves feel better about our situation. It is the nature of social comparison. However that does not make it right and it is a form of verbal abuse that makes a significantly negative impact on those targeted.

The Key is in the Definitions of the Terms Used in the Actual Article

The critical sentences that really apply to this case, with respect to defamation, are:

• "two years ago, I became a public figure representing domestic abuse (DA)"; and
• "I spoke up against sexual violence (SV) - and faced our culture's wrath"

So far, in the live court trials, there appears to be no evidence of SV perpetrated by Johnny Depp. Since DA is inclusive of verbal abuse (e.g., verbal insults), so far the evidence confirms this. Whether or not the Jury count Johnny's alcohol-and-drug-influenced insults towards Amber during their relationship as 'abuse' is a huge factor in who wins the case. As Heard testified that she had been referring to multiple men in her op-ed, the DA claims may go back to her previous relationships (I say 'may' because the trial is concerning the defamation of Johnny Depp, not those other men). Although her previous relationship was with a woman, she was charged for DA against her ex-partner. THIS... really hurts her case.

The credibility of Amber's case is already poor - especially when you factor the inconsistencies of her witnesses (across the board) regarding Amber's physical injuries, the consensus between those same witnesses that Johnny was not once seen to abuse Amber in any form, the declaration from Jennifer Howell stating (under penalty of perjury) that Amber's sister Whitney told her that she thought Amber was going to kill Johnny on the staircase incident (rather than Johnny, which is what Whitney testified). Despite this, the impact that Johnny's addictions have had on his behaviour seem to be what Amber's witnesses speak about the most. But having an addiction does not make one an abuser. It's not his fault - he was mentally unwell. And it appears Amber is too, in a much different way.

HOWEVER...

Regardless of who wins this case, the majority of public opinion is already in favour of Johnny - the expert Amber's team hired to support their case, even confirms this, with #justiceforjohnny being the predominant hashtag among the top 4 'negatively' associated with Amber Heard and the Adam Waldman article pertaining to Amber's allegations as a 'hoax'.

At the end of the day, he has spoken up about his experience and cleared his name. Unfortunately for Amber, her body language has spoken louder than her words.

That said, I strongly discourage you from sending out messages to anyone involved in this case, that could impact their mental health further. Sooner than we know it, this case will be over so *please* be mindful :)

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Important: As always, take care of yourself well. This trial especially is taking a toll on your time and energy, more so if you are following it quite religiously. Turn your phone off for a day or two, go outside where all the trees and plants are, have a walk or sit down. You are always entitled to me-time ??