Let's Re-brand Feedback. Notice and Recognise Strengths of Others

Today my manager and I had a private chat with each other on how the word feedback is used way too often in a negative way. We need to more often stop and notice when people should be recognised for their efforts in our team. And today was such a day.

Strengths are qualities that people demonstrate at work which are very helpful in a given situation of the team. Unlike skills or competencies, strengths are things you do because you enjoy doing them. Even if no one told you so. It turns out that one of my strengths is to spot strengths in others and to reward them with acknowledgement and a "thank you". I enjoy noticing when people put in extra effort at work, because some challenge or task engages them and I like to encourage them in this moment to persevere further. Because all of our actions are like little ripples in a wider network of connected humans. And small actions do matter.

So how did I learn to spot strengths in others and acknowledge more often?

I first had to become comfortable accepting praise and acknowledgement for myself. Before I could focus my energy on helping others, I had to have a close look and listen into my internal narratives. From "I am not good enough, because ..." type narratives I learned to talk to myself in a more accepting, compassionate way and indeed recognise what IS good enough in me. A skill, an action only needs to be good enough to be able to help 1 person. Then it is good enough. I AM good enough. And so You ARE.

Often though, we lack the language required to call out the strengths and positive impact of others. We don't know how to express positive, acknowledging feedback and feel uncomfortable about saying it. This is especially true in certain cultures like in Britain.

Luckily, I came across a tool developed by Dave Corbet, the founder of StrongSuits that makes developing the skill of strengths-spotting and recognition very easy. StrongSuits is a set of playing cards that you can use in very versatile ways for your coaching conversations, team standups, retrospectives and 1:1s at work.

I would like to now send the card of courage and perseverance to my manager and to my team, and all of you who would like to bring more positive conversations, appreciation and better understanding of each others' contribution to work.

To learn more about our work with StrongSuits and case studies of teams and individuals transformations, please visit www.strongsuits.com or join one of our events at www.strongsuits.com/events.