"Let’s Move On" – avoiding sensitive topics at work by Marc LeVine

“That's the funny thing about religion: it doesn't matter what you say, you're going to upset?someone. ” ―?Lewis Black,?Me of Little Faith

Perhaps, the quickest way to be alienated by others is to disagree with their politics, religious beliefs or views on race relations, gender identity and equity, sexual orientation, and other highly sensitive topics. ?In any people environment, such delicate topics have the potential to unleash firestorms. ?In many such cases, the aggrieved and/or injured parties can easily agree to part company, walk away, and even avoid one another for perpetuity.?This is not always possible in work situations, though.

Off limit topics fall under the category of taboo soft skills and can be destructive not only to your career, but especially to your current job.?Handled without care, you can find yourself seated before your human resources director, who may decide to suspend and fire you after investigating a co-worker’s complaint about your inappropriate behavior.?You can easily lose your job if your rules infraction is serious enough.?Take care and be mindful of the gravitas involved in engaging with co-workers in off-limits topics.

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Some might argue that they have the right to free speech under the First Amendment of the Constitution. They feel protected and allowed to say just about anything to anyone, anywhere.?They may go even further blaming and mocking those they have offended for being too sensitive and politically correct. ?But making others uncomfortable in a workplace from which they cannot easily avoid you is an entirely different matter.?This, on top of the company’s desire for everyone to work well together for the sole purpose of doing good business, puts the political argument for free speech to rest while on the job.?If you work for a private employer it is his/her right to outlaw any behaviors the team may find offensive and that puts company culture and business success at risk.?

So how does one navigate cordial communications with work colleagues in a way that does not offend anyone?

1.??????Know thy Audience. ?Work colleagues and personal friends are two very different groups. You just can’t say to the guy or gal in the next work cubicle what you might say to your closest buddies at the corner bar.?Your friends might roar at your off-color jokes, walk away angry or even punch you in the nose. ?But you simply can’t risk offending any one at work which may trigger a complaint.?There is no bartender in your office to mediate a cordial riff among friends. At work, only human resources are present and paid to help govern your work environment.?And they will not be as understanding as that friendly guy pouring everyone a beer and trying to cool off hotheads to prevent a bar brawl.

2.??????Understand the Power of Words. ?Unfortunately, we can’t know what potential effect our words may have on strangers, in advance. ?After awhile we get to know our friends better and learn their views on various controversial topics. In fact, they may only be our friends because they are more like us than not.?Co-workers may come from all walks of life; thrown together in what is essentially a melting pot – much like America itself.?What you say to one co-worker may land differently for the next. ?You may be a Trump Republican, while others are Biden Democrats and unaffiliated Independents.?You may be straight, while others are LGBTQ.?You may be agnostic, while others are believers.?It is easy to offend others in such diverse working environments and you are expected to work well with everyone. EVERYONE. ?So be careful.

3.??????Learn to Apologize Immediately.?Research shows the average person speaks at least 7,000 words a day, with many speaking much more than that. Think about what that means to you. We all make mistakes, especially when choosing our words. We’re human.?But with sensitivities at work much higher among who are mostly strangers to us, we must learn to be on the lookout for our mistakes; apologize for them and guard against repeating them over and over again.?If you think you have offended someone at work, apologize immediately. ?Don’t let things fester and get escalated to management. Most people usually understand, accept an apology, and move on.

4.??????Help Mentor Others.?Those just entering the workforce share something with those in much longer – ignorance of taboos. ?First time employees, “don’t really know what they don’t know” about acceptable conversation on the job. So, why not help guide them? The same goes for those who started working at a time when they thought they could say anything to anybody and get away with it. Those days are long gone, and work rules are constantly changing.?Help show them the new ways of the world before their boss shows them the door.

5.??????Stay Well Informed.?The word is constantly changing, and we all must keep up with it. Was “Woke-ism” even a thing 5 years ago??Did most of us know there were 80+ distinct gender identities more than a year or two ago??Well – guess what??Woke-ism and gender identity are two more equally sensitive areas that may have emotional impact on others when discussed at work. ?Plan to avoid all subjects that are highly controversial and emotionally charged.

Chances are you may never learn about what may tick off a co-worker until it is much to late and you crossed a line. ?So, at work – especially – keep your conversations upbeat and benign. Talk about the weather and sports until you get to know work colleagues better.??There is nothing wrong with small talk if it helps prevent you from having another conversation most of us would prefer we not have.?

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The Author

Listen to Marc's latest interview on “Failing for You” with Jordan Yates

Marc LeVine is a graduate of Syracuse (NY) University with a degree in Industrial Psychology, Marc is currently Talent Acquisitions and Learning and Development Lead at Thermo Systems. He is the recipient of the Excellence in Talent Acquisitions Award from HR Awards in 2021.

His prior employment includes senior Human Resources and Staffing Industry management roles with Edgewood Properties in Piscataway, NJ, Brickforce Staffing in Edison, NJ, InfoPro Inc. in Woodbridge NJ and Plainsboro, NJ and Harvard Industries in Farmingdale, NJ, a former Fortune 500 company. He also served as Director of Human Resources for New Jersey Press, the parent company of the Asbury Park Press, Home News and Tribune and WKXW-NJ101.5. Earlier in his career, Marc served as Director of Career Services and Placement at Union Technical Institute in Eatontown and Neptune, NJ. In addition, Marc owned and operated Integrity Consulting Associates, a New Jersey based Human Resources and Social Media Marketing firm for 11 years. Marc also served as Council President in his hometown of Freehold Borough, NJ