Let's lighten the load together

Argh. It's lonely up here.

I hear variations on this cry for connection a lot from the women leaders I support.

"It’s lonely at the top!"

Is this how it feels for you?

?? You’ve got to the end of a week and it's as though you’ve just sailed single-handedly across a vast ocean or climbed a huge mountain range.

?? You’ve rolled with a dozen mini crises. Had a multitude of tricky conversations. Made a host of difficult decisions (and dozens of mini ones) and steered the organisation, as successfully as you know how, through the ebbs and flows of the week’s challenges.

?? But you did it all on your own.

You’re the leader. You’re expected to lead, right?

It can be tough up there

CEOs and directors in mission-driven organisations tell me how very lonely their jobs can be.

• They talk of the challenge of finding peers to bounce ideas around with.?
• The isolation of making complex and sensitive decisions.?
• The lack of someone to encourage them along when they lose motivation or to pump up their confidence when it wobbles (which happens to us all.)

So much of what CEOs, in particular, deal with has to be kept confidential and can't be shared. You just have to keep things to yourself.?

This kind of isolation is hugely draining and stressful, I know.

The CEOs I work with are often approaching burnout when they’ve come to me for coaching.

Is it lonely at the top for you, too?

You cannot do this alone

The fact is, you simply cannot do your important role alone. Let me say that again. CEOs and senior leaders of non-profits and mission-led organisations cannot do their jobs alone.

You are not robots.

The right support is absolutely essential, even for apparently successful and go-getting high flyers - like you.

We are not meant to work alone. it's not our natural state. Change comes from community.

Three ways to tackle isolation

??1. One of the most valuable things you can work to improve is building a strong, supportive relationship with your chair.

This is a game-changer. It's such a vital element of your role, and a huge source of support or a humungous source of frustration when it goes awry.

I invite my clients to explore ways they can get more truly helpful support from here.

For example, making sure you get 1-1s about you and your performance not just how the organisation is going.?Making sure you get 1-1's at all!

Even small commitments like a five-minute check-in with your chair at the end of each week are very powerful.?

Or perhaps something more fundamental needs to change in your relationship? I encourage you to be brave and tackle it.

??2. I also urge my clients to make a prioritiy of building a strong, warm network of peers outside their organisation or business either informally over coffees, or through professional organisations and networking events.

This has got so much tougher since the pandemic, but everyone, however introverted, needs a team of people they trust rooting for them.

??3. And finally I advise getting bespoke help from one other person – be it a mentor (an expert in the field) or a coach like me (an expert in bringing out the best in people).

Non-judgemental support from outside and a dedicated safe space to focus on YOU is truly transformational – for you and for your organisation.

???? Think you don't have time for these kind of connections? I really urge you to think again.

Connection is not a nice-to-have. Humans are community creatures.

We absolutely need each other to share successes and challenges as we work to change the world.

My coaching clients tell me that just knowing I am there, as their right-hand woman, gives them renewed confidence, vitality and purpose.

Thank you for reading this article in my Loving Leadership newsletter. I hope it's inspired you in the amazing work you do.

Want some more Katie in your leadership?

??Come along to Levity Lounge, my lively new networking event for rebel-hearted non-profit women leaders - the next one is in London on 13th March.

?? Drop me a line about getting my one-to-one coaching support. Email or DM me to book a chat.

?? Subscribe to this Loving Leadership newsletter by hitting the blue button above.

Katie Duckworth is an infectiously enthusiastic change-maker, cheer-leader and inspirer of CEOs and their teams working all out for a better world. Her coaching is warm and empowering. Her training, practical, engaging and fun.

This article was first published, give or take a few mini tweaks, at www.katieduckworth.com