Let’s just tone it down…

Like millions of Americans, I claimed my spot on the couch this weekend, grabbed some snacks and watched way more football than I would care to admit. I rooted for the Buffalo Bills and I’ve been a fan since about 1973. I cheered on the Philadelphia Eagles because my favorite nephew is a fan and because Tom Brady has enough rings. And, I pulled for the Dallas Cowboys because I think I committed to this in my marriage vows…

There was plenty of excitement. Some great quarterback play, a bunch of big hits and lots of rowdy fans. And, there were lots of mistakes. Small miscues are magnified on the elevated stage of the NFL Playoffs. As a Bills fan, I remember some heartbreaking fumbles, devastating sacks and a missed field goal that crushed me.

On Sunday, the Dallas Cowboys clawed their way back to within striking distance of the San Francisco 49ers. With 14 seconds left in the game, their offensive coordinator called a very questionable run play. It didn’t turn out well. The clock ran out before the Cowboys could run another play and their Super Bowl hopes were dashed.

On Monday morning, I turned on one of the many sports roundtable shows to see what the reporters and former players were saying about the games. Most of the discussion centered around the mistakes of the Cowboys, specifically at the end of the game.

Here is a snippet of what I heard:

• The Cowboys head coach is the “worst coach on the staff.”
• Several called the team “pathetic.”
• One high-profile announcer posted a one-minute video of himself laughing at the Cowboys.
• On one morning show it seemed that the members of the cast were competing to see who could insult the Cowboys more with their sarcastic humor.

From a technical perspective, I agree with many of the points made about the Cowboys. My take is that they need a new head coach. Their owner tends to get involved with details better suited to the people he has hired. The decision to run the ball at the end of the game was too risky, in my opinion. I do not think, however, that the level of vitriol aimed at this group (or any for that matter) of athletes, coaches and managers is appropriate. And, I don’t buy the fact that since they make lots of money, we can say whatever we want about them. Every person in the Dallas Cowboys organization is a human being (even Jerry Jones!) and deserves respect.

This is, unfortunately, one more example of the lack of humility in our society. Humility is a little more complex than I originally thought, and I think it is best defined in four parts:

1.???????Being modest; staying in the background and not clamoring for praise and attention

2.???????Putting other people first; demonstrating empathy and an understanding of the interconnectedness of our existence

3.???????Being accurate about our abilities; knowing when to stretch yourself and when to let someone with more expertise take over

4.???????Knowing what you don’t know; creating a climate in your relationships to show that you are open to being influenced

Truly being humble enables us to be compassionate. It allows us to see others as we see ourselves – as flawed human beings just trying to do our best. Expressing humility opens us up to learning and making others feel safe to share their ideas.

Now, some people will say that these shows are all an act and that it’s just some harmless fun. Others will say that this is the price of being famous and on center stage.

I disagree. Just watch how today’s athletes taunt each other. Look at the number of selfies we take and post on Instagram. Notice how fans hurl objects on the field when they don’t like a call made by a referee.

We are all teaching EACH other at every moment. We may think we are not influenced by the anger and sarcasm on ESPN, Fox News or MSNBC but exposure to these programs makes us more likely to toss around insults and shout at each other. The result is that we are losing our ability to empathize and listen (two skills that are in short supply).

So, go ahead and use the incredibly powerful brain you have to dissect the loss of your most hated rival. Just remember that humility is a virtue and nobody is perfect.

Go Bills!