Let's Get Unstuck!
☆ Martin Seville
??Personal Development Specialist?? Working with Leaders, Managers, Business Owners and Teams to overcome what's in their way and build the life they want.
Welcome to the fifth edition of the Your Extraordinary Life Newsletter.
THANK YOU, as always, for subscribing and being part of this journey together. As we approach 1,000 subscribers we're building a great community of like-minded people who want to live their most Extraordinary Life! So, let's keep that going.
As a recap, this newsletter is designed to help You navigate the thrills and spills of professional and personal life. In each issue you'll get:
All to help you live Your most Extraordinary Life.
So, Welcome and Thank You, once again, for being here, and ... Let's Get Unstuck!
Motivation Time
Getting unstuck is the theme for this edition of the Your Extraordinary Life newsletter, and here's a video from my mentor, Tony Robbins, that will rock your world!
Challenges, problems, stresses, strains happen. They're a part of life. What's important, though, is not staying in these challenges, problems, stresses and strains. This powerful video does everything I hold dear about helping you get out there to live your best life. It Inspires. It Motivates. It Educates. This is not the usual video for Motivation Time! Introducing ...
So, identify the patterns running your life, prime yourself, get unstuck and go live your most Extraordinary Life!
... and remember:
"Problems are the fuel for growth"
Extraordinary Life Lesson
Change can indeed feel scary. It's the unknown. It's the uncertainty. It's the fear of whether it'll work out. It's the fear of what others will think and say.
If there were awards for fearing change, I'd have won a lot during my 20 year career in financial services. My entire world felt like it was constantly changing. Be that personally as we grew as a family. Be that professionally with every regulation change, project change and restructure every 6-18 months. That was a tough environment for someone who naturally prefers stability, sticking to a plan and certainty (see the last edition of this newsletter where I talk about Certainty as part of our 6 Human Needs).
Yet Change is what I so desperately needed ... to stop feeling stuck, to feel happier and to be healthier. Despite feeling so incredibly lonely, stressed, depressed and anxious I feared Change so much that it felt better to struggle on with what I knew, than take the risk of change. Ultimately I left it too late. My body and mind shut down on me, unable to take any more. I was forced to change. I highly recommend not leaving it that long.
What I discovered was that yes, Change can feel scary, but staying the same is scarier ... and can ultimately be devastating, for you and those around you. So, with Getting Unstuck being this edition's theme, this Extraordinary Life Lesson seems incredibly apt.
If you're feeling stuck or trapped in a world of challenge, problems, stress or strains, ask yourself what's scarier: the risk of improving your life, or being in the same place 6 months, 1 year, 5 years, 10 years from now ... and imagine, in fact, how much worse things will get if you do nothing.
I've learnt that's scarier than any courage needed to reach out for support, taking an opportunity, having a conversation or trying something new.
Change is your antidote to feeling stuck. Embrace it with courage.
The 3 P's you need to breakthrough
Frameworks are priceless. Whether they help you get predictable and sustainable results, or help you reflect, plan and take action.
Today's framework is the latter. It gives you self awareness of how you're looking at your situation, especially when you're feeling stuck. In doing this, you realise you've got more power and choices than you ever gave yourself credit. You realise that it isn't the situation that's keeping you stuck ... it's how you've been looking at it! Powerful and courageous change can then follow.
So, without further ado, I have the pleasure of introducing you to The 3 P's.
When we feel stuck there are 3 things we need to breakthrough:
1) Permanent
We can often trick ourselves into believing that the situation we find ourself in is Permanent. This often happens when we've experienced the situation, be it stress, imbalance, not living the life we want, for a long time. We've lived it for so long we believe it can't be changed.
Behind the scenes, our brains are actually trying to keep us safe from more disappointment. After all, how many times have you got your hopes up, only for them to be dashed. It's easier and less painful to believe it can't be changed ... and in turn we stop trying and hoping. We choose misery over the heartbreak of disappointment.
Now the intensity of all this changes depending on the situation, but can you identify any areas of your life where you've just accepted this is how it is? I see this every day, for example, in Leaders, Managers and Business Owners convinced they can't make the impact they want in their business AND have the quality time they want with their family. It's impossible with their responsibilities, accountabilities, or at their level, or on their salary, or in their sort of company or industry. It's totally and utterly untrue ... but they've resigned themselves to it being true. You've got to breakthrough this story.
2) Pervasive
Have you noticed how when one area of life feels challenging, it can cloud our view of other areas of our life?
We can start catastrophising. All of a sudden us finding this one piece of technology challenging apparently means we're useless with all technology. One misunderstanding or "moment" in a relationship suddenly means the entire relationship is doomed and has never worked, conveniently bypassing all the wonderful moments and challenges you've overcome in the past. A bad moment can have us writing off the day as a bad day, a bad month, a bad year, a bad life!
It sounds ridiculous, but be honest, you've done it haven't you? We all have. Importantly, how long, without the clarity and perspective of self awareness, have you then believed this? If we're not careful, we can stay stuck believing this for a very long time ... I know I did. We must breakthrough this catastrophisation.
3) Personal
Ever made it more personal than it needs to be?
Take those Leaders, Managers and Business Owners I mentioned earlier ... guess what happens when they see a fellow Leader, Manager or Business Owner with better balance and boundaries than they have? Instead of using it as inspiration for what's possible ... they make it personal. They start thinking it must be some failing on their part. They're not good enough. They can't cope. They're not cut out for this. They're a fraud. A sure fire way to destroy any self esteem, confidence and self respect they had.
The truth is, it's nothing to do with them, you or me not being good enough. We're all more than good enough; sometimes we just don't have the tools and strategies yet to make the necessary changes and improvements. "Yet" being the important word, because why would we have the tools and strategies if we haven't experienced this before or haven't been taught them?
Yet another thing I had to learn the hard way. I spent nearly 2 decades not feeling good enough. It nearly destroyed me. You must breakthrough making it personal.
So, there you have it, the 3 P's. Powerful stuff that leads to a 4th P ... Perspective ... and that's a 5th P ... Priceless.
If you're feeling stuck in any area of life, consider whether you've made the situation Permanent, whether you've made the challenge Pervasive and whether you've made it Personal.
It shares a lot of perspective and insight into this time of year, being actively involved in your children's academic life and brings the 3 P's to life, as well as giving you a heads up on my Work Leadership framework which shows what there is to learn, once you've broken through.
Enjoy the insights and getting unstuck.
Recommendations
Book Recommendation
The Underdog Advantage, by Dean Graziosi.
Have you ever felt like an underdog? Maybe you've felt like your finances, resources, support, education, time, background, knowledge or life itself is against you. Maybe you've been in a situation that's stretched you, and the skills, knowledge and experience you haven't yet acquired, seem to be against you. Little doubts start creeping in.
Well, join my mentor, Dean Graziosi, on a wonderful journey through being an underdog and how instead of it holding you back ... it's your super power. It's your unfair advantage.
Full of historic and personal stories, from George Washington turning the tide, to Dean's tough childhood, being a snowmobile champion, fishing with Lewis Howes, ground breaking deals that could have been with Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee and so much more! Dean candidly shares the philsophies and lessons that have helped him and others not stay stuck in circumstance, but use their Underdog Advantage.
Whether you get the hard cover book or listen to the audio book on the move, check it out, let me know what you think; and remember:
"Underdogs can be humble learners, and use that to propel themselves to success."
Here's The Underdog Advantage using my Amazon Affiliate link. There's even an Audible 30 day free trial. Any affiliate commissions will go towards supporting Gloucestershire Bundles who help families in crisis. I have a particular passion to help families throughout the year, and to ensure each child in these families receives a Christmas present at the end of the year.
Event Recommendations
The Game Has Changed ... Exclusive Early Access
13th -15th June. 2-3 hours a day. Free.
I'm so excited to invite you to The Game Has Changed; an incredible new online event from my mentors Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi. As a Strategic Partner on this event and future projects with Tony, Dean and Mastermind, it's a privilege to invite you before I talk about this publicly. When you're part of the Your Extraordinary Life Family, you get special access!
All the details about the event and how to register are here.
In a nutshell, this is all about helping you use your skills, knowledge, passions and lived experience to help others ... at a time when they need it the most, and using the technology available today to do it faster and better than ever before!
The Game has truly changed ... because the world has changed, the economy has changed, the cost of living has changed, the technology and a.i. has changed. Far from being something to fear ... it's something that creates Massive, brand new opportunities. Register today and join us as my guest.
Extreme Confidence Breakthrough Experience ... Early Bird Tickets Available
9th July. 10am - 4pm. Llanthony Secunda Priory, Gloucester. From ￡149.
The wait is over ... my signature in-person event is back and I'm ready to help you Breakthrough.
All the details and how to book tickets can be found here.
Quickly though, this is for you if your looking to breakthrough what's holding you back and go live your most Extraordinary Life, with Extreme Confidence. We're going to get Honest about every area of your life, get Clear on what you want your life to look like and what you need to improve on, get Passionate about making that happen, slay the dragons holding you back, replace them with new positive, empowering stories, habits and belief ... and in the grand finale I'll invite you to Breakthrough for good, smashing through wooden boards that represent what's been holding you back and breaking real arrows in an impossible way to unleash your Extreme Confidence! There's nothing like the Extreme Confidence Breakthrough Experience, and it's a privilege to invite You!
This powerful, intimate event only has 18 tickets available in total, so book yours Today. If you're feeling stuck, if you're not living the life you want, if you're feeling like you're made for more ... this is for You. See you there!
Community Recommendation
It's our small, global community of like-minded people looking to be better and do better, so we can live our most Extraordinary Lives. With an increasing library of over 70 hours of Exclusive trainings and events, there's plenty of valuable content and resources for everyone ... for Free!
I look forward to welcoming you soon.
Sign off
Thank You for joining us for this edition of the Your Extraordinary Life Newsletter. I hope you've found it insightful, reflective and inspiring to help you Get Unstuck! It's been a lot of fun to put together for you, and it's SO exciting to invite you to two incredible life changing events! My aim is to help you live Your most Extraordinary Life ... and I hope I'm delivering on that aim.
As always, I'd love to hear from you. So, drop me a comment or message on what you think, ask any questions you may have, and please do share the newsletter with anyone that might benefit. Lets keep this community growing.
If you'd like to go a little deeper into anything we've covered in this edition, then please do book a free call. It would be a privilege to help you.
Thanks again, and until next time, remember just how Extraordinary you are.
You coach, mentor and friend,
Martin