Let's Get Back to Talking to Each Other

When I grew up in 80's life was obviously very different than it is now. If you are reading this and remember the 80's like I remember there were a lot of family based TV sitcom shows, strange clothing options and hair metal. There was also lyric based hip hop and playing outside in your neighborhood for hours upon hours until the light post went off and then your mom called you in for dinner. Talk to anyone who grew up or was a bit older in that decade and they will recount a very similar experience. It was fun. It was...the 80's. And remember when you had to wait for someone else in your house to get off the landline phone so you could talk? There were no personal phones for most people. You just had to wait your turn.

As I became an adult in the 90's I began to notice, as we all do hopefully as we grow up and our minds expand, that life is a changing and evolving process. Gone from the 90's were crazy hair, glam metal and family based TV shows. It was the beginning of reality TV, grunge music and the powerful explosion of the internet. I remember when I showed up to my first week of college at James Madison University in Harrisonburg, Virginia. One of my classmates told me that they had to check their email. I said, "What's email?" I really didn't know what that was honestly. I was still in the dark on computers and sending messages. We had a personal home computer when I was in high school, but we never sent any messages on it. I spent very little time on the computer as I was always outside playing sports and chatting with friends. So, my classmate took me to a computer in the library and showed me how to access my university email address.

One of the bigger trends beyond the things I mentioned above was that in those two decades I remember people talking more to each other. It was such a normal part of our existence. One of the lingering "normal" parts of the 2000's and beyond has been the erosion of people talking in person or on the phone to each other. Now listen, I'm a huge proponent of the digital age and being able to connect with people via the internet all over the world. I enjoy texting and emailing like anyone. However, I've never forgotten the critical art of speaking to a person one on one and paying great attention to them. I can feel that part of our society fading more and more with each passing year.

Maybe many of you reading this disagree, but in my circles and many of the circles I have observed this classic element of human interaction is fading. I began to notice it when people began to bring their smartphones to meetings. Then it was people were actually answering their phones during meetings. And now its fairly common place for people to check messages and completely ignore what's going on during meetings and other social engagements. In fact, just go to almost any gym now and what you will see is people with their face down staring into the black hole of technological engagement while their workouts become less and less significant.

What happened? Well, the very thing that has been such a wonderful invention for us has also provided unintended consequences for us. Our endless connectivity has in many ways created a strange society where we are able to have so much opportunity to connect with others, but instead we rarely do. If you look at the latest columns and research related to loneliness, our society is much lonelier now than it has ever been. Yet we have more connectivity than there has ever been. Come to find out, that the old school way of connecting with people...you know talking in person or even just talking on the phone still remain as the most powerful means of human interaction.

The weird thing about our society and when I say that I mean all demographics, not just millennials who take the brunt of the criticism, are suffering from not talking to each other in person and on the phone. I've seen senior citizens, middle aged, young adults and certainly teenagers who struggle with normal human interaction due to the tremendous influence of smartphones and other digital technologies. I don't believe you can blame it on one generation or the other at this point. Its part of all of us at this point.

So, what can we do? Well, I have listed some options to help all of us get back to talking to each other:

1. Request: Request to connect with people on the social or professional media platform of your choice. Most people are very good at this. It's the next part that starts the process of talking.
2. Reach Out: Reach out with a personal message to the people you request to be connected with once they accept your request. I also find its important to tell the people you reach out to that you are not selling anything. It usually breaks down the wall of skepticism the other person may have because they are so used to people cold selling them something if they receive any messages at all. Reach out to have a genuine connection. Don't treat it like an assembly line of your sales leads!
3. Respond: When someone responds back to you the first rule of thumb is to just respond! Seriously. Just evening responding to another person puts you way ahead these days. And make sure to respond in a timely manner. Don't go a week without getting back to someone. Also, be warm, inviting and ask questions. Sounds simple right? That's because it really is.
4. Schedule: Finally, if you feel like you have established a quality line of initial digital communication, schedule some time to either meet in person (if your connection lives in the same area) or call each other. Getting to this part will greatly strengthen and bolster your personal and business aspirations because you will build a deeply strong network of people that know that you are there to help them prosper.