Let's Face It - Instagram Can Be a Depression Box

Before I write about Instagram, that photo is my kid pretending to be smacked by Luigi. It's hilarious because I didn't realize what he was staging until I took the snap.

When you open Instagram, you might see friends and family and some of your interests. Mine is set up the same way. But what I see most of all are opportunities to feel depressed.

Almost all of my friends are professional speakers. When I look at my IG stream, it's essentially a collection of people I admire doing their speech at events that have paid them to come share their thoughts and ideas. It is ALSO a collection of events where I wasn't invited, where my ideas weren't needed, where I wasn't needed.

On good days, I celebrate the successes of my friends. On bad days, I ask myself what is wrong with me. I punish myself for being so uninteresting. I drag myself through repeating spirals of torment asking why I'm not good enough. On good days, I love your awesome house or new car. On bad days, I punch myself in the stomach for not having figured out how to win more often.

A Liquor Store on Every Corner

There was no real guidebook for how to make all this social media stuff work. I was an early adopter on most every platform out there, and I just basically experimented, shared everything (good and bad) and suggested ideas that others might use to grow their own opportunities to connect. But the model is weird. Basically, it's a huge popularity contest executed daily. Over and over.

More is the number. "More." That's the only number.

And believe me, I could care less who has more followers or subscribers or likes or what not, but I do feel the sting of having not enough views of my videos or not many likes or comments on my posts. I feel it the same way someone new worries that what they're sharing isn't good enough. And that's crazy. It's insane to tie even the smallest amount of my perception of self worth to software.

I feel like this is a new kind of alcoholism. "So just quit," you say. But my business and the business of nearly everyone in my field requires the repeat and frequent use of these platforms. This is my marketplace. This is how I share my ideas and potentially earn the opportunity to share them with large groups on a stage somewhere. It's like an alcoholic working in a bar some days, with a liquor store on every corner. And my bed is made from kegs of whiskey.

Dip in to Post and Comment, Then Leave

My first piece of advice: do your business and leave. The more I scroll (on bad days), the more I will torture and torment and punish myself. So, I jump in, post what I have to share, and leave. I might sneak back later and say a few things to people I admire. Push that heart button a little. You know.

But get in, get out. On bad days.

Work on Wins

I've stopped "reflex" jumping to Instagram in between work. For a while, my "methadone" was Reddit. But that's more of a time waster than anything else. (Still love Reddit.)

So now I dip into LinkedIn. I read articles. I share ideas. I congratulate people here and there on their work efforts. And I toil over my profile. I look for words that will make my profile connect better with potential clients. I craft workshops and speeches to help companies. And I go back to my book.

Working on wins is much more rewarding than scrolling through Instagram and looking at the highlight reel of other people's success. (On bad days.) It helps immensely.

It Might Just Be Me

This might just be me. Maybe I'm the only one who flips open Instagram and thinks, "Everyone's having fun without me." Maybe I stand alone in that feeling that I'm not nearly as successful as any other person I'm connected with on there.

And again, on good days, I love seeing you win. On all days, I'm glad that you're winning. I want you to win. Good days see my commenting and fist-pumping every victory you have.

Bad days? Well, I say a lot of really bad things to myself, most of it not especially true.

I wrote this for me. But maybe you can see a bit of you there, too? I've learned not to seek validation from digital platforms. It took a very long time. But I still have yet to learn how to keep my inner critic at bay for too long, especially when I get to see crisp visual "proof." (Remember that such proof is a lie when it comes to your Inner Critic. He/she lies.)

Today, I was on Instagram twice and loved seeing my friends at their events. I can't tell you about tomorrow. So, I'll push that like button a lot today, just in case.

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Chris Brogan helps companies use empathy and openness to build stronger businesses by teaching the "soft skills" of creativity and collaboration. Connect with him HERE.