#20: "Let's Do a Date Night.."

A bit of a detour from our usual business content this week, as we’ve just launched a Date Night Coaching Deck, in collaboration with the very knowledgeable John Kenny which got us thinking about all things date night and relationships. So this week we’re exploring the humble date night.

A study found that married couples who go on regular date nights have a 14 % lower chance of their relationship breaking down.

Another study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that?couples who had a regular date night reported higher levels of intimacy, passion, and commitment in their relationships. This study also found that date nights were associated with lower levels of stress and a higher quality of life.

So, what's all this telling us? That beyond the whimsical and romantic side of the date night, they actually serve a purpose in building the foundation of relationships and keeping them healthy. Now, what else keeps a relationship healthy? Soft skills.

This might sound like a stretch but hear us out. Communication and conflict resolution are two of the most talked about soft skills in business but they are also absolutely critical to keeping relationships alive and thriving. How can you improve these? The same technique that works with your colleagues, can work with your partner (perhaps softened a bit with [insert nickname here]). Allow us to expand.

2 Relationship-Saving Communication Tips

1. Open Questions

These types of questions encourage further communication and show that you are interested.

Example: Your partner is ranting about their patronising manager.

Closed question: "Can you talk to him about it?" This invites the answer "no", and shuts the conversation down somewhat.

Open question: "How did that make you feel?" This invites a more expansive answer and shows that you care about their feelings rather than just a practical solution.

2. Listen

That's it. As humans, we want to be heard. And, sometimes that's enough. You don't need to have the solution, you just need to provide a listening ear. This one can be trickier for men as their innate nature is to solve. And sometimes that will help. But at other times, refrain from offering solutions and simply offer a good ear and a shoulder.

2 Relationship-Saving Conflict Resolution Tips

1. Notice the Early Signs

The early signs of an argument can be compared to a pot of boiling water. Noticing the early signs and addressing them is like turning down the gas. Whereas ignoring the signs and matching them with your own is akin to turning the gas up and watching it boil over. Early signs can include:

• Silence
• Aggressive body language (crossed arms, eyes rolling)
• Voice raised
• Tone sharper

There are many ways you could deal with this but, usually, the most effective is to say something like "I can sense this is escalating and we both don't want that, let's break". You then walk away, take some time, and revisit the situation when you're both calmer.

2. Clarify the Issue First

It is easy to jump to conclusions especially if things are heated. But of course, you want to avoid this like the plague because it will only cause more problems. You may well end up starting an argument over something untrue, all because you didn't take the time to clarify. Try to talk calmy first and get a well-rounded perspective on the issue at hand.

This comes back to communication. Asking open-ended questions can help with this. By using these questions, you can encourage your partner to provide more in-depth?information?about their perspectives and motivations. This can help to uncover the root cause of the conflict and provide you with a deeper understanding of the situation.

Summary

So, there we have it. Two key soft skills that place a vital role in your relationship. Now that you have that under your belt, you can confidently explore your relationship further and get to know each other better with our Date Night Coaching Cards. The cards are split into 4 stages that each focus on different parts of your relationship encouraging deeper conversations and explorative discussions.

Grab your deck today: https://amzn.eu/d/00dRknzH

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