Let’s deal with these mass murderers
By Peter Wahome.
I really hate mosquitoes because they interrupt a clear thought process. You’re traveling into slumber land smoothly and are swimming into it. It is so magnetic and soothing. The more you are dipping into it the more you’re memories of the day are fading. Slowly but surely they simply become illusions. Illusions that may graduate to dreams.
All of a sudden as you are arriving the majestic, attractive, sedative gates of slumber land, you hear a melody from a very far distance that starts pulling you back with immense force. The mundane, monotonous song that time immemorial has never changed becomes louder and louder as you go back to consciousness.
Jeez! It’s the malaria orchestra! They don’t change the song, they don’t even add any creativity to it. No riffs, no runs, no beat, no remixes, no instrumental accompaniments, no scales, no transposing, no music covers. Pathetic! It is just the same bloody (literally) bland melody and it is sore annoying. How I loathe it to death! How I wish that these six legged little monsters were the ones fading into extinction instead of the beautiful northern white rhinos in magical Kenya at the Ol Pejeta.
If I was God I would exterminate them like the vermin they are. I would completely obliterate them from the face of the earth and from the memories of every single human being. I would erase their existence from every science book and they disappear into oblivion never to be talked about ever again.
Do you know these little devils are responsible for mass murder every year? According to the World Health Organization mosquito bites result in the death of more than one million people every year. These good-for-nothing mitches are masters of genocide!
And then they have the audacity, the nuts to come to my house to sing for me and “entertain me” with the same old, boring, cheap, non-inspiring, clearly-lazy song? Heck No!
I slap them hard wherever they settle to siphon what they have not created nor worked for. Our blood. I take a stand for all humanity. You interrupt our darling, sweet, lovely, therapeutic journey to sound sleep and then you bore us almost to death with your “fake song” and I just sit on the fence doing nothing? I’d rather die than be counted as a moderate or a non-violent to mosquitoes.
Sometimes I succeed and others I end up battering myself for nothing.
The problem is that they know how to duck. They are acrobatic. Their reflexes are like an 8/10 so you have to be better or you will end up physically abusing your own body. They do have a lot of fun making you do that. But anyway, a little pain is a small price to pay for getting rid of these wicked minions.
However when I succeed in smashing their frail little bodies all the blood they obtained in painful means splatters out and I feel proud having revenged for my kind
Bear in mind also that if you are a moderate these guys are not. They will send you and your children to hospital with painful joints, headaches, fever, nausea, vomiting etc. Take a stand bana!
Do you know something we can learn from them? They are not sexist, racist or tribalistic. They are not xenophobic because in their attacks they do not discriminate. They will attack anyone and everyone who has not protected themselves. That’s a policy that they have implemented time immemorial. “Malaria to all!” I imagine them clapping and shouting in one of their strategic conferences as they plan how to infect us more.
That is why we need to be more aware of malaria and cover ourselves under good nets especially for expectant women and little children who are the most vulnerable. Buy a good insecticide like doom, bolt etc and ensure that your house is corrosive for their murderous existence.
Take care of your surroundings and get rid of the swamps and foul water bodies which are breeding grounds for mosquitoes. Annihilate them before their eggs hatch. We will then get a mosquito, malaria-free world.
Oh! I eventually do get deep sleep. I always win. You will always win too.