Let's Connect! ????

We’re only six handshakes away from anyone in the world - so they say. While we could go shake those six hands (maybe make that two in NZ) and get connected to anyone, is there any meaning if we don’t do anything with our connections? By that I mean talking, meeting up for coffee, offering advice or making further connections...because surely if we’re connecting with someone for professional purposes then we’re after more than just a LinkedIn request?

Is there any meaning behind your quest to get as many connections as possible if you never actually converse with them? not even a thank you for connecting? Or ask for advice? Or meet up and see how you could help each other out? Or have we switched from connections to contacts?

“In networking, you can think of people as “contacts” or as “connections.” Contacts are one-way: You only reach out when you need something. It’s a numbers game in which you believe your chances are better by having as many as possible. On the other hand, “connections” are two-way: You care about the people who are in your network. You give them as much as you want to receive, and you stay in touch whether or not either of you needs something.”

I think we’ve all been guilty of pursuing contacts instead of connections at times - we all get a little thrill watching our connections, friend or follower count grow. And hey I’m not disparaging contacts. If you’ve just moved to a city, changed industries or recently graduated, then building contacts is a great way to get out there.

Think about all the social media connections you’ve made recently - have you contacted them? Has anything come of your being “connected”? Are they based on a real-life connection? Or going even further, did you just add them because it’s easy online - would you still have connected with them if you had to meet them in person?

Some argue social media leads us to form “weak relational links” because the human element is removed; it enables us to be connected, but also distant.

“Social networks are effective at increasing participation—by lessening the level of motivation that participation requires.”

It’s easy and low-commitment to send someone a connection request. But it takes more investment and commitment to meet up in person, exchange business cards or invite someone to a networking event.

My question is - are we missing out on anything by focusing on social media connections? We’re super keen to connect but don’t seem to do anything with it.

Do we reap the same benefits from those 500+ LinkedIn connections that we would from 10 connections made offline? Again, it all depends what you do with them:

“From a functional standpoint, your connections are only as valuable as you’re able to make them, through working with them and building relationships. There’s no point having two thousand connections if you’re not interacting with any of them.”

It can be easy to get hung up on follower or connection counts as more always seems better - right? Still your connection-sending fingers though, as according to researchers most of us only have capacity for “stable, ongoing social relations” with about 150 people. It’s called Dunbar’s number and it hasn’t changed much even with the advent of social media.

So while we might have connection or friend counts much higher than that - we might not be getting a lot of value out of those connections. Another researcher reckons social media is making us move from conversations to connections:

“Connection, it seems, denotes a very different quality of social interaction in comparison to conversation, as it refers to continuous streams of little titbits of information, such as those neatly packaged into 140 characters on Twitter.

Conversation, on the other hand, refers to listening and empathic understanding, actively attending to another person, rather than fleetingly commenting on their status updates online while simultaneously talking on the phone, doing the laundry, or preparing the children’s dinner.”

Suddenly that number isn’t seeming so quite so important anymore...I guess it’s the age old question of quantity vs quality. While we might have pursued quantity when social media first became such a thing, it seems our attitudes are slowly shifting:

“Many users are beginning to discover that with an enormous collection of friends or followers on a network, you lose the benefits of intimacy, discoverability, and trust, all of which can work better when you have fewer connections.”

This makes a lot of sense but the urge to hedge our bets and connect with as many people as possible in case they come in handy “one day” is still pretty prevalent. It’s like we recognise that we get more out of quality connections but we’d still rather keep growing our friend counts for a rainy day.

What do you think though? Are we missing out on opportunities to grow, develop, initiate change or be part of change because we’re focused on pushing up numbers on our profiles to show how awesome we are? I’m keen to hear what value you’ve gotten out of social media connections!

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