Let's Christmas
☆ Martin Seville
??Personal Development Specialist?? Working with Leaders, Managers, Business Owners and Teams to overcome what's in their way and build the life they want.
Welcome to this special Christmas edition of the Your Extraordinary Life Newsletter.
As always, a Big THANK YOU for subscribing and being part of this Extraordinary journey together. We've created a great community of over 1,000 incredible people, all of whom want to live their most Extraordinary Life! It's been a joy to see us grow together this year and I'm looking forward to more of the same in 2025.
So, let's bring this year to a finale with some powerful messages for an Extraordinary Christmas and beyond. As a recap, this newsletter is designed to help You navigate the thrills and spills of professional and personal life. In each issue you get:
Motivation Time
With Christmas being the theme for this edition, we start with this powerful motivational video that tells the story of keeping promises and being present ... at Christmas, and all through the year.
Making good on the promises we make to others, and also those we quietly make to ourselves, can shape the quality of our lives and our relationships.
Here's Ian Humphrey with:
This story isn't really about a child's gift. It's about promises. It's about knowing the importance and impact of promises, broken and fulfilled. Never be too busy to make good on your promises, to your family, to you, to those around you. As Ian shares:
"Promises aren't supposed to be broken, because when they are, so are hearts."
Extraordinary Life Lesson
It's good to have high Standards. That brings a quality, responsibility and accountability into your life. High Expectations, on the other hand, well they can set you up for a world of frustration and pain.
Have you ever expected someone to act in a certain way, but they didn't? Have you ever expected something to work out exactly how you planned, but it didn't?
How did you feel? Disappointed? Frustrated? Sad? Irritated? Angry? That's the danger of expectation. You may remember we touched on this in the last edition when exploring the Formula for Happiness.
Turning to Christmas ... what's your expectation? Are you striving for the picture perfect family Christmas? Do you know exactly how you want it to go?
Let me ask ... are you holding on too tight? What happens if it doesn't go to plan? What if people don't respond in the way you expect? What if things are delayed? What if someone's ill? What if the cat jumps into the Christmas tree?!
I learnt many Christmases ago that holding on too tight to expectation can be devastating. We put ourselves at high risk of reacting in unhelpful ways, or just feeling really down.
When I learnt to loosen my grip and let go of my expectations, I discovered a calmer, more spontaneous and more joyful Christmas. May you experience this too, at Christmas and all year through.
What the Dickens?!
Frameworks are priceless; whether they help you get predictable and sustainable results, or help you reflect, plan and take action.
Today's framework is all about reflection which helps you take sustainable action to get sustainable results. It's seriously powerful stuff. In fact, led in person by a personal development specialist it's one of the most powerful frameworks out there.
The inspiration behind it comes from the wonderful Charles Dickens, and specifically, what I consider to be the greatest coaching book ever written: A Christmas Carol.
Legend has it one evening many years ago, my mentor, Tony Robbins, was in a hotel room during a series of seminars. He was contemplating how to help people get sustainable results. The kind of results that the person totally owns and continues to embody. Short term results were commonplace at the time, but that's not true change, true improvement, true development. So, he was looking for something deeper.
The television was on in the background when Tony noticed what was on: A Christmas Carol. That's when it hit him. Scrooge went on a deep emotional journey. To truly change he needed to face his Past, see the reality of his Present and get disturbed by his potential Yet To Come. By doing this he dismantled his limited beliefs about himself and the world. The key was the depth of emotion, and that led to Scrooge's transformation. A process is important, but that process must generate enough deep emotion to instigate change and make it stick. This was Tony's eureka moment!
He then broke down the important steps and aptly named it. So, it's with great pleasure that I introduce you to one of my favourite, and most powerful, tools in my toolbox: The Dickens Process.
Before undertaking The Dickens Process it's important to know and appreciate that its power lies in your emotional response. You have to feel the emotional pain. Done properly this can be intense, so be prepared for that, and if you'd prefer to go through it in a safe space with me, let me know. It's certainly worth it. When Tony took me through this process it radically changed my life; a life that was up to that point supressed and inhibited through years of depression, anxiety and medication.
The process is made up of 5 steps:
Begin by identifying a personal belief that has been holding you back.
It can be a thought or assumption you have about yourself or the world. For example, I'm not good enough, I'm not a confident person, I don't like change, the world is a nasty place, I can't trust anyone, I'm not worthy, this is just the way it is, no one likes me. What words do you regularly use to describe yourself and the world?
We all have many beliefs, stories and assumptions, some are even positive. For this exercise though, choose one that sits at the top of holding you back. The kind that has stopped you doing things, taking opportunities, making decisions, connecting with people, making the improvements and changes you want.
2. Explore Your Past
Focusing on this belief, story or assumption you have, reflect on how it has negatively impacted your life up to this point.
Really step into all the missed opportunities, hardships, failures, setbacks and the impact they've had on You, your Health, your Family, your Friends, your Career, your Quality of life.
Face the harsh reality of your Past and how this belief, story or assumption has been a millstone around your neck. Feel the burden and weight of it.
3. Examine Your Present
Look at how this belief is affecting your current life.
Identify areas of your life where you're unhappy, frustrated, stressed, anxious, unfulfilled, angry even, or where there's conflict, all because you're maintaining this belief, story or assumption.
What's the impact today on You, your Health, your Family, your Friends, your Career, your Quality of life.
Again, feel the burden and weight of this.
4. Visualise Your Future
Project yourself into your future as if you continue to live with the consequences of these beliefs. 1 year from now. 5 years from now. 10 years from now.
The consequences rarely stay the same. They get increasingly intense as more time passes. The continued missed opportunities, hardships, failures and setbacks only intensify. The impact on You, your Health, your Family, your Friends, your Career, your Quality of life only gets exponentially worse.
Really step into your future and feel the reality of it.
At this point, being honest, it should feel pretty disturbing. I know it can be tough. I know it can hurt. But this is your wake-up call, your eureka moment, that highlights the urgency to change for the better. You can't afford to let this belief, story or assumption hold you back anymore. It's not a path you're prepared to travel any longer.
5. Create An Empowering Alternative
Your old belief no longer serves you. You see that now. So, it's time to replace it with a new, empowering belief that supports your goals, your aspirations, the life you want to live, the relationships you want to have, the health you want, the career, mission and purpose you want, the quality of life you want and the experiences you want.
领英推荐
Maybe you now realise you are good enough, that you get the confidence by getting out there, that change is inevitable and leads to adventure, that the world is a wonderous place full of incredible places and people that you now must experience, that leading with love and trust could unlock a world of people and opportunities you never thought possible, that you've always been worthy and your worth isn't dedicated by anyone else, that old, rat race ways are there to be challenged, broken and then improved, that positive, uplifting, supportive people exist and if you surround yourself with them you'll experience a life where you finally break free.
Truly visualise, feel and embrace the positive impact this new belief will have on every area of your life.
Having gone through The Dickens Process, you may "feel light as a feather" like Scrooge did, as you feel a profound release from what's held you back in the past. You'll also have a clearer vision for a more fulfilling future, and an empowering shift in mindset, perspective and outlook which you can use to take meaningful action in the present towards living Your most Extraordinary Life.
Top Tip: Here's my 3-part short video series, where I take you through a journey with your own Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present and Yet To Come, to help you prioritise what's most important and take back control of your work and time, so you enjoy a more balanced and joyful Christmas and beyond with your family.
Recommendations
Book Recommendation
A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens
Given our theme for this edition, there's no surprise that this is my book recommendation!
I have two favourite books ... and this is one of them. In fact, given my long standing love for this book since my childhood, it should naturally take the top spot.
Yes, it's about Christmas my favourite time of year. Yes it's set at an intriguing point in time. Yes it has colourful characters. But it's that Hero's Journey of change, of transformation, of hope that speaks to me. It's a beacon of light for everyone.
You don't have to be a miserly Scrooge. You could just be going through tough times, to have been through tough times, to have had set backs, to have made mistakes, to have lived in an unfulfilling way for a long time ... A Christmas Carol gives us the hope - and even the framework, the road map - that change is possible. That no matter what, we can be better and do better. We can live a more passionate, purposeful, joyful life.
In a world that, at times, can feel so overwhelming, so uncertain, so unstable, we're reminded that we have a choice and we have more control over our life and the difference we can make than we ever give ourselves credit. We just need to feel it and take action. So, let us remember what Scrooge says:
"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I will not shut out the lessons that they teach."
Here's A Christmas Carol, using my Affiliate link. Any affiliate commissions will go towards supporting Gloucestershire Bundles who help families in crisis. I have a particular passion to help families throughout the year, and to ensure each child in these families receives a Christmas present this year. Help me to help them by helping yourself!
Video Recommendation
Did you know that Ebenezer Scrooge was inspired by a real person! It's true, and as a Gloucester born and raised lad it get's even more fascinating!
Join me in this short, fun video where I share the story behind the real life Scrooge, who he was, where he lived, miserly tales and the depth of feeling people had towards him!
Enjoy!
Article Recommendation
"A Christmas catastrophe, and I am lying on the floor with 7-feet of tree, metres of lights and the whole family’s treasure trove of broken and displaced decorations on top of me. I go ballistic! I explode in a Christmas tree covered rage!"
Welcome to The Great Christmas Tree Debacle!
Enjoy and learn from the messages in this article that describe a very rough festive night in the Seville household several years ago. Stepping back it would make a great comedy sketch, but at the time it was less than funny. Originally included in my contribution to the book, Anger & Us, it tells of stress, overwhelm and strategies for dealing with anger when things literally go sideways. Emotions can be high at Christmas and I hope this helps if you're feeling tension in the air.
2025 Recommendation
I truly hope you take into 2025 what you've learnt from this edition of the Your Extraordinary Life newsletter, and indeed all the editions I've shared. They're designed to be a library of Personal Development you can tap into at any time.
What I do know, though, is that it can take herculean discipline and focus to make improvements, to change, to achieve new things, to write a new chapter in your life.
The most effective and quickest way to get sustainable results is to have someone by your side.
In the New Year many people will make New Year's Resolutions ... without the depth of honesty, clarity, passion and support needed to last beyond 2 weeks. I don't want that for you and I'm sure you don't want that for you.
2025 can be your best year yet, full of adventure, excitement, passion and purpose. Whether you're looking to overcome what's been holding you back, break a cycle of living that no longer serves you, or are ready to write a brand new chapter, I'm right here to help.
It's going to be a year of "making it happen", of taking what we can learn from our own lived experience and personal development frameworks, and then taking the action to make the change or improvement we want. It's time to bring to life what we've been talking about this year. Many people miss that last step. Reading, watching, listening, knowing and understanding are the start, but they aren't enough for change ... you have to take action as well. My commitment to you is in making that happen.
So, book your complimentary call with me here for the New Year, and we'll discuss what's on your mind, where you want to be heading and how I can help. I look forward to speaking with you.
Quick note: Without any element of marketing scarcity, this Newsletter goes out to over 1,000 people actively interested in being better and doing better. So diary slots are on a first come first served basis. Get them booked in now, and you're set for the New Year.
Community Recommendation
This is my small, global community of like-minded people looking to be better and do better, so we can live our most Extraordinary Lives. With an increasing library of over 80 hours of Exclusive trainings and events, there's plenty of valuable content and resources for everyone ... for Free! It's a great way to complement what you learn in this Newsletter.
This month I even shared our annual tradition of me reading A Christmas Carol on video and then breaking down the lessons we can learn!
I look forward to welcoming you soon.
Sign off
THANK YOU for joining me in this Christmas edition of the Your Extraordinary Life Newsletter!
THANK YOU for also joining me throughout this first year. We've been on quite the journey!
I hope you've found true value and insight that can genuinely help you improve your life for the better.
I love sharing with you the Personal Development I've learnt, put into practice and can hand on heart say works. I continue to believe lived experience remains the most powerful gift we can give others. Condensing decades of learning into minutes or hours saves you so much time, pain, suffering, frustration, trial and error. It's a pleasure and a privilege to put this together for you.
I'd love to hear from you, especially as we go into the New Year. What do you need support with, what are you struggling with that I can include solutions for in future editions? Just drop a comment or message. Please also share the newsletter with anyone that might benefit. Lets keep this Extraordinary community growing.
THANKS again. Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Remember just how Extraordinary you are ...
... and as Tiny Tim observed, God bless Us, Every One!
Your coach, mentor and friend,
Martin
Instructional Design, Arts Education, V.O., Actress, Singer-songwriter
2 个月Excellent
Founder, Chief Experience Officer & Chief Design Officer at Mamo | Strategic Advisor | Angel Investor | Leadership & Growth Strategist | Ex-Google
2 个月☆ Martin Seville, this Christmas edition masterfully weaves personal growth with timeless holiday wisdom. Looking forward to the transformation.