Let’s build the sisterhood

I recently came upon a stirring question:

‘Are you the woman who fixes another woman’s crown, without telling the world it’s crooked?’

This led to a rich, deep reflection, of being a woman with experiences spanning personal, professional and social contexts. I began my career in the 90s, and it was interesting to think about the changing mores of the workplace in every decade of my life, especially through the lens of being a working woman, in India.

A word to the young women reading this. You have great power and potential, each of you. Individually, and together. And in these times of transformational change, your inner values are the best compass. Today, they say it is the post-truth world of argumentative, individual realities. And there are very few threads of meaning on offer. But for us women, it is the active, lived-in empathy for the feminine experience that is unique, binding and powerful, a strength like no other. It is a gift that keeps on giving – being there for other women.

With the high emphasis on gender diversity currently, do women help one another at the work place? With such stridency in the feminine voice nowadays, there are myriad avenues of support and guidance for women. Support groups, which would have leaders listening to the woman, and helping her deal with career issues. Women seniors devoting a portion of their time helping other women succeed, across departmental and company lines. Offering advisory on what to do, what not to do, how to push boundaries, how to reset the career compass, how to find the fit between work and life. If women seniors can help other women reach to their true potential, it could be a place of wonderful friends in life, not just at work place.

There is Shenomics led by Bhavna Toor and Wequity led by Geetha Kannan , who do some wonderful work in this space. I have also been part of various women gatherings, especially on Women’s Day, of conferences and conclaves with brand-sponsored breakfasts and exclusive guest lists. These events surely help in building sisterhood, in sharing stories of struggle and inspiring success stories. Even the way MeToo Movement #Metoo picked up was all because women found courage to speak out, and solidarity to sustain their voice.

Today, I conduct pro bono coaching sessions for women to help them overcome limiting beliefs. One amazing learning I have been building upon, is the privilege and responsibility that listening brings. Hearing these women out has made me rediscover the act of listening, and the power of human response to, simply, being heard. These conversations, which begin with pain, sometimes even trauma, are moving, to say the least. Listening to a woman finally speak out is grueling, and a gift, all at once. It is work of constant surprise. How unique and particular every feminine experience at the work place is, and yet how universal, at its core! Working through the issue is a demanding process of active empathy, for a coach has to inhabit the spirit of detachment through it all. And the best part eventually comes, immensely fulfilling me to see the person boldly stride forth, confront the problem and emerge with dignity preserved. ??

As I reflect, I’m reminded of my Guru HH Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi saying:

‘We need balanced women in order to have a balanced human race with peace within itself.’

My learning is that to best help others, I must be balanced within.

I recall my experience, resulting from my choice to take a break from work during the Pandemic as my family needed my fulltime support. Obviously, this gap in employment wasn’t perceived well by the industry leaders. I decided to enhance my skills - which was logical at that time and enrolled myself into a coaching certification program - An experience I would recommend for everyone.

I completed my training, but focus was to get back to my usual HR Leader's job. However, with not many recruiter calls, I started to lose a bit of self-confidence and was on the verge of giving up a flourishing career and retiring. Exactly at this juncture, an angel came my way, not only rekindling my self-worth, but also helping me find great coaching assignments. This has further led to HR consulting work, and there has been no looking back since. A break in employment led me to gain unanticipated but valuable exposure in life’s work. From feeling almost worthless, today I have reached a place of pride, something akin to being a pioneer.

This woman was my queen, who adjusted my crown for me without letting the world know about it. This was one of those precious life lessons. I carried on that spirit, and have since been trying to support other women in various interventions, and reinforcing my values along the way.

A small point to ponder here. Building up women doesn’t need you to diminish men. Male bashing is as bad as female harassment. Bad actors exist in all genders, across organizations. As do good actors. The challenge, likewise the fun – if you have the resilience and relish for it – lies in managing the various nuances of human nature in the corporate world. It’s not easy, granted, but a forgiving heart goes a long way in achieving a gratifying career, ultimately.

This led me to realize the Ikigai of my life: be the woman in support of women. It is fate’s favour that I can engage with young women unable to afford a professional coach, offer them a sanctuary of understanding, and empower them to smile and succeed at the work place.

I have been fortunate to have many women, some from unexpected quarters, who supported, nurtured and empowered me in my growth – fixed my crown, so to speak. I’m tagging them here.

Namratha Roy ( She/Her ) ; Sujata Barla ; Sangeetha Pradeep, GPHR ; Prameela Kalive ; Usha Chirayil ; Uma Karthik ; Smitha Bhogu ; Sampada Mulik ; Aparna Ali ; Deepa Mahajan; Shruti Gupta; Ninke Mussche ; Vani Ravitej; Glynes (Goldie) Rezu; Deborah Vaz; Radhika Ramamurthi ; soumya Keshavamurthy ; Farida Nallaseth ; Rosalee Mohapatra Kombial ; and to many more who helped me in direct or indirect ways!!