Let's better define "rejection" and what "not giving up" actually means

I'm writing this article (article feels like too big of a word but LI posts have this char limitation I just know this one will surpass) following the one I read here: https://www.fastcompany.com/90703615/i-was-rejected-357-times-before-landing-my-dream-job-heres-what-i-learned

I debated whether to reference the article that provoked these thoughts and ultimately decided that doing so will add value and allow people to more objectively consider what I'm about to write.

The reason I considered not quoting it is that I didn't want it to appear as though I'm criticising the young person who wrote it (I assume she's young based on the content, I don't actually know how old she is). I really am not. I do not know her personally and for all I know, she's a bright young professional.

Having said that, here are the salient points I found worthy of discussion:

#0. The article is titled "I was rejected 357 times before landing my dream job. Here’s what I learned".

This statement, to me, begs the following question: How do you define rejection? This is the dictionary definition from Oxford:

"the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc."

So, assuming we agree with this definition (and I do) here's a follow-up question: when she says she was rejected 357 times, does she mean she's applied to 357 positions? presumably, the answer is yes, because, in a latter paragraph, she says:

"I can’t say that it was easy, but after 357 rejections and 40 interviews, I finally landed my dream job as a full stack engineer and I couldn’t be happier.".

At this point, you may be saying to yourself: "Yes, what's your bloody problem with it?". Well, I'll tell you:

Applying for a job does not necessarily imply you want it. All it positively says is that you have not decided against it yet. By the same token, not hearing back or getting a polite "Thank you for your interest. At this point, we will not peruse this..." in my opinion, should not be construed as a rejection. All it means is that the person giving the response does not, at this point, wish to employ you. This could be because they've found a better candidate (in their opinion, which is subjective) or because they've decided to halt recruitment for this position (been known to happen) or because they're forced to hire their nephew or niece (or the boss's). If you haven't heard from them at all, they may have not SEEN your application (people miss things). And, if so, how could they reject something (or someone) they are not even aware of?

Employers and candidates should never presume that the candidate *wants* the job. Job hunting is just like dating. If you made it to the date/job interview, all it means is that both parties reckon there could be potential there, nothing else.

I haven't interviewed in a long while (I've been with the same company for several years now) but there's one, utterly idiotic question I was sometimes asked when I did, typically in the beginning of a job interview, which is:

"Tell me why you want to work here?"

To illustrate how moronic this question is, imagine being asked, 5 minutes into a romantic date:

"Tell me why you wish to marry me?"

I don't know about you, but, for me, there will not be a second date..

The above two questions are equally ridiculous and utterly pretentious.

#1. The second point that, to me, merits some questioning, pertains to this statement:

"Although I did everything I could to prepare myself for this career pivot, I struggled to find a company that would even move me through the first or second round of the interview process."

My first question to the author would be:

What did you actually do to prepare yourself?

And mind you, I'm not (yet) inferring that she did not do everything she could to prepare but, if you don't elaborate as to what you actually did, then:

a. Others cannot learn from it; and, presumably, that's one of the goals when writing something like this, is it not? to help others who may be in a similar position.

b. No one can evaluate whether this statement (I did everything I could) is actually true.

I've been coding since I was 9 and I always knew that's what I wanted to do (which makes me quite lucky, I know).

FOSS existed when I was 9 (in 1991) but I did not know about it at the time. We were not connected to the internet. I learned to code by reading QBASIC code for games that were shipped with MS DOS. Not only did my mother not encourage me but she actively discouraged me (she wanted me to be an artist or a writer and considered programming a waste of time, for anyone, not just me) and so, I wasn't exposed to any external resources.

Today's world is very different to what it was when I was 9. FOSS is now considered mainstream; with loads of huge corps contributing to it (and others taking advantage of it to various degrees - but that's martial for another article). And, I daresay, every tech recruiter and interviewer is (at least somewhat) aware of what FOSS means nowadays.

This is great in so many ways. I'm an avid FOSS supporter and work on several FOSS projects, as part of my day job, and also (though hardly enough) in my spare time.

The reason I bring this up in this context is that, today, more than in any other past period, you absolutely do not need formal education in the field of computer sciences to become a good developer (if you want to be a doctor or a lawyer, you do - go to uni!).

You can educate yourself by reading documentation and following tutorials and then build a reputation for yourself by being involved with existing FOSS projects as well as starting new ones. Financial cost to you: NIL.

And again, I'm not saying the author has NOT done that but, it would be great for her to share content that demonstrates that she has (maybe in a follow-up article where she details the actions she's taken to prepare herself, as I suggested above). Because I know for a fact that recruiters and hiring managers do consider such experience most valuable (and for good reason).

In fact, if someone came to me asking for advice, that's exactly what I'd tell them: learn to code by following documentation and FOSS projects you can relate to and making contributions to those.

#2. The article speaks of the importance of a personal connection and suggests reaching out to hiring managers directly.

I'm not disputing this point outright, mind. I've heard it before and, frankly, being autistic, I'm not in a good position to evaluate and judge its merits (self criticism is important too).

But I will say this: when I get these emails telling me how passionate someone feels about the projects my company is involved with (and I sometimes do), I give a very polite response encouraging them to make contributions to said projects. As of yet, none of these passionate people ever followed up.

#3. The article states: "Don’t be afraid to ask for feedback"

I agree that feedback is important but I also think it's important to know whom to ask for feedback and when.

Before you ask someone for feedback, ask yourself: do I feel this person is knowledgable in the area in question? Am I personally impressed with them and what they've achieved (and why)? Do we have a good rapport and do I trust them to provide genuine, constructive feedback?

If the answer to the above is yes, then, by all means, go and ask them. Otherwise, irrespective of their title/position, forget about it (and them).

#4. Lastly, my personal take on not giving up: engage yourself in activities you think you can become passionate about and give yourself ample time before you give them up but, as you do so, evaluate whether or not you're making good progress and have the right attributes/character traits to be truly good in each activity.

This is not about being immediately perfect (or even very good) at something. Anything worth doing takes time to master or, when it doesn't, it becomes boring very quickly; the metrics to look at are:

• Have I given this enough time to make informed deductions?
• Am I making progress/getting better?
• Assuming I continue to learn/practice, do I stand a solid chance of reaching the level of proficiency I need/want?

If you can answer in the affirmative, don't give up! If the answer is no, pause and consider areas where the answer to the above will be a definite yes. We're happier when we excel.

To further drive this point home: I'm 5.3" and not very athletic by nature (Also, I'm 40). I do okay at the gym (now; I didn't go at all until recently when, a very close friend of mine finally won and got me to try - THANK YOU) and I'm happy to be going. I do see progress and it does do me good. Having said that, if I told someone that I'm not going to give up until I become an NBA MVP, I'd expect them to give me valuable advice and tell me to invest my energy, resources and time elsewhere:)