Let your influence take S.H.A.P.E.

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Welcome to the final installment of my series on influence! If you missed the first three installments, start here to get the most out of this series.?

We’ve covered the connection between psychology and influence, discussed the importance of strong relationships, and I’ve shared 5 proven influence strategies. For the final newsletter in this series, I will share a process I’ve developed that will help you use all that you’ve learned. Called the SHAPE model, it’s based on the psychology of influence, incorporates the strategies we’ve reviewed, and it works. Time and time again, my clients have used it with great success.?

Read about the SHAPE model below and download a handy reference guide here.

“Influence is our inner ability to lift people up to our perspective.” – Joseph Wong

Ponder this…

The SHAPE model is effective with groups and individuals, but keep in mind that most influence happens one-on-one. When you’re looking to influence a whole group, doing a big talk can be helpful. But even at the federal level, most votes come from one-on-one conversations in backrooms. It takes work and persistence to influence and make big things happen.?

SET a clear goal?

Before you dive headfirst into a conversation with the person you want to influence, take time to get clear on what you hope to accomplish. What specifically do you want the person to do, say, think, or feel differently? For example, imagine that someone on your team is slacking off. You might say, “I want Joe to be more engaged,” but this goal is too fuzzy to be effective. Instead, make your goal more specific: “starting today I want Joe to collaborate with Jane on this initiative and complete these projects with no more errors.” A muddled goal can lead to misunderstandings, so clearly identify and state what you need or want.?

HOLISTIC assessment

To be effective, you have to understand the position of the person you seek to influence and consider what’s in it for them. Everyone believes the way they see the world is correct and that their behavior is reasonable. Even if you don’t see this person as a friend or ally, you need to set that aside and try to see things through their eyes. Put yourself into their shoes by asking yourself questions such as:?

• What are the other person’s primary interests and concerns in this situation?
• What are the advantages and tangible benefits my objective would deliver to them?
• What will motivate them in this situation? What reasons will matter to them?
• What is something they value that I can offer?

Select an APPEAL

Once you are better able to understand your target, it’s time to select your influence appeal (i.e., your strategy). As we discussed last time, choosing an influence strategy is like choosing the right tool for the job. This is why you must have a clear goal and understand the person you are seeking to influence. You don’t want to use a saw if a hammer would be more effective! We all have default styles that feel more comfortable to us, but you need to be flexible. Choose the best strategy, not the one that feels easiest for you. For more on the five basic influence strategies, check out my last newsletter.?

PLAN your approach

This step is where many people falter, not realizing how much planning their conversation will aid their success. Don’t just wing it, prioritize thinking it through ahead of time. Start with how you will open the conversation: what will you say? Consider what objections they are likely to raise, and make a plan for how you will respond to those objections. List questions you can ask to better understand their position. If your strategy isn’t working, what is your backup plan? These are just some of the things you should consider in advance. The more thorough your planning, the better you can control the conversation.

Formulate an EXIT

Unfortunately, no matter how comprehensive your plan is, there is still a chance that your conversation could go sideways. If your conversation gets heated or emotional, it’s important to know how to step away. This isn’t about avoiding or running away, but being strategic. Consider the following questions to prepare yourself for the possibility that your conversation goes off the rails:

• What could go wrong in this meeting?
• What are things I shouldn’t say to them?
• What things might they say that could upset me? How will I stay calm if they do?
• How will I excuse yourself if things go sideways and reschedule for another time?

Over these four newsletters, you’ve received a crash-course in influence, but reading a newsletter isn’t enough. To become a master influencer, you need to practice, and practice deliberately. Rehearse on your own or with your coach, and then put what you rehearsed into play. Reflect afterwards: what worked well? What did I learn? If you didn’t achieve your goal, what are your next steps? Then rinse and repeat. Deliberate practice is the most effective way to quickly learn a new skill like influence.?

We’ve covered a lot and the good news is that you don’t need to remember it all - download this one-pager of the SHAPE model to be more strategic and effective in the situations you want to influence!?

Influence is one of my favorite topics, so if you’re interested in exploring how you can increase your influence feel free to reach out to me here.

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