Let Them Fail!

Failure is the first step to success. We would have heard this phrase N-number of times isn’t it ?. However non of us would follow it.?We never like failures. We always have to succeed in whatever we do. Everything is result oriented. Record books are maintained and people are judged by their rates of success.

But doesn’t it sound as if we all have become “ROBOTS” . “To err is human” and vice versa if we don’t make mistakes we are not humans.?

I see parents’ getting so obsessed with success that they don’t even want their kids to face the smallest of smallest failures. Let me share with you a small instance that I faced recently: We have a small play area for kids in our apartment. There was a kid who wanted to climb the slide from the opposite direction, Mom Comes shouting; no no no you should climb from the other way, this is not the right way. He obeyed the mom and he did it. Then he went to the sand, took some in his hand, and tried playing with it outside the sand area; the mom again shouts; no no no , you should not take the sand out,, you can play with the sand in the sand area only. The child left the play there and went to ride his cycle , he wanted to do back paddling and immediately the mom says(ahh now you know what the mom says) no no no you should not do back?paddling.

Can you relate now. Lets see what would have happened if the child would have climbed the slide opposite direction:

• He would have fallen down, might be he would have got hurt
• or he might have tried a couple of more times to do the same, either he would have succeeded or he would not have. (remember the incy wincy spider)

Both the cases he would have learnt things by himself that whether he should climb the slide from the opposite direction or not. He would have got confidence of making his own decisions.

However because you have not given him the chance to do this thing he will definitely try to do same when you are not there around.

Think about our kids, who do not have much instructional control or don’t follow instructions. They learn by experiencing, experimenting and exploring. It would be so challenging for them to be restricted from their natural flow of action and compelling them to do something. And instructing them everytime.

Infact we go one step ahead for our kids. We even predict things for them and react to it. and the prediction is always negative: like my kid cannot eat by himself, he needs help for putting on shoes, he cannot wear a shirt by himself and we start doing things for them and never let them try and fail.

Now if the child puts the shoes by himself, however the shoes are of the opposite foot, we immediately come as saviors and correct them. Or if the child has worn the t shirt wrongly we immediately correct it. Isn’t it?

Did we ever give him time to think and feel for himself, whether he is uncomfortable or not,?has he put it the wrong way? Or even time to understand and correct it by himself. NO

Recently I heard of a technique called “errorless teaching”. And the whole concept of this teaching is, even before the child makes mistake predict it and correct it so that the child cannot make a mistake. Sounds Ridiculous. I doubt “are we raising human kids or ROBOTS”.

It might look as a very small thing but there are huge repercussions

• Stops creative thinking
• Stop experimentation.
• Stops thinking
• Becomes dependent
• Cannot handle failures at any point of time
• Cannot take decisions
• Very prone to depression
• Hiding facts
• Very prone to Obsessive compulsive disorders.
• Very low confidence.

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So just sit back and think what kind of life you want to give your kids: wings of confidence by letting them fail initially or to keep doing error-less teaching for them throughout their lives. Choice is yours.

Let them fail, let then try: Remember the phrase “failure is the first step to success”