Let no one Chip Away at your Confidence.

.

This morning, I'm thinking about confidence builders in the workplace. There are always things that chip away at your confidence no matter who you are. It's in moments like these that I realize how fortunate I was to have my upbringing. My parents were somewhat trailblazers, one in military service and my Mom attended college at age 16. Whatever their union was based on, they raised confident children. As a teen, I was never jealous of another girl and I didn't have the teenage angst of not having the right clothes or the right haircut. I can recall walking into high school with no fears. When I became an Aunt, I was determined my nieces would have high self esteem and never experience that feeling of "not belonging." How do you do that? I always let them know they were special, from defining their names and explaining where the name came from, to identifying their talents and letting them know that God blesses each of us with a special gift. You don't have to be jealous of anyone else's gift because you have your own. It also didn't hurt that I worked retail and could keep them with cute clothes and bags. Nothing brought me more pride than dropping off one of my nieces at the middle school and watching her walk through the crowd to get in the building....at least twenty kids were screaming her name and greeting her as she walked by, she was a rock star (still is..)

Fast Forward to many years later and I am a GM for a retailer that puts on bi annual fashion shows.....I love this! It's that perfect mix for me, event planning, self esteem building and salesmanship. I know how to put on any type of show. (Literally) During this time I was able to make a partner with a pageant coordinator and began incorporating the pageant crowd into the fashion show. Wildly successful and so much fun! These girls were also being filled with pride, boosting their self esteem, learning how to be gracious and poised. These were title holders from every age group from all over the state. This had a huge impact on me and I started visualizing my life passion was to help young girls and young women be fearless.

When I had stepped away from retail (briefly and not fully) and opened my own business, I was still incredibly passionate about having a positive impact on young women. I opened a party boutique where little girls could be princesses or rock stars or simply have a karaoke party, spa parties or a tea party. We had indoor glamping, crafts, we made vision boards and held parties at schools where everyone was included. We did everything to make them feel special and proud of who they are. I recall hosting a brown princess event....(When Prince Harry married Meghan) I let them come in for free, take a picture with a life size Princess Tiana and gave them all a tiara for stopping by. Yes, you can be a real princess! Instilling once again that you can do anything and be anything you choose.

So my question is why do we let companies, leaders, even peers chip away at the esteem of our adult selves? Confidence snatchers in the workplace, the ones who make us miserable and we hope that when we come in that they aren't working! We often stay at jobs where we are undervalued and often paid less because society has conditioned us to believe that we just have to grin and bear it and not quit. We go to school, some of us get multiple degrees and some of us (Me) have more experience than a lot of people combined but we show up, try to learn, do our best only to have someone tell us how we should present, how we should speak, how we should dress. I've worked for some screamers, some that belittle, and some that never allow you to have input, despite your experience. In recent years, I asked a DM why they would hire someone like me with all this experience and then never ask for my opinion? She didn't like that and I surely felt blackballed thereafter. Let me say this, never quit your job without having another one lined up. Never allow you emotion to put you on the wrong side of things. When you appreciate what you have, better things will come. But to those that are draining the goodness out of your team, that have no empathy, that never offer seats at the table nor seek out feedback from your team.....they will remember, they are special, they will remember they have talent, they will remember they have options. They aren't stuck.

When you feel bad at work, or when you feel you are jumping through hoops and not getting anywhere, remember what you bring to the table. There's a company that needs your vision and drive and your experience. Have confidence in yourself and believe that you are worthy of great opportunities. When you are responsible and grateful with what you are given, you are often given more. Do not downgrade yourself to fit into a company culture that doesn't support your development. Look for the values you need for success, for long term commitment. Look for an inclusive leader at the helm, one that asks for input, one that empowers you, that offers you a seat at the table. Or build your own table. I believe in you. I believe in us! Lets go bust out some of those glass ceilings!

Tip to Boost Self Esteem for the Career Minded: Confidence has to be instilled. Confidence has to be repeatedly boosted. Surround yourself with positive affirmations and people. Lastly, I keep a list of every job offered to me or every recruiter who reaches out to me and when. I can safely feel confident knowing that over 20 recruiters contacted me last year and I was able to say, 'I'm very happy where I am. Sephora has been soo good to me and they value my opinion and my experience and continue to amaze me!"

My wish is that everyone feels that way about their company, or you can just come Beauty with us! (seriously)

Cheers to Career Development and Growth in 2023! I wish you all a blessed and prosperous year!

I'm Cheryl Warren, retail executive (now recruiter) with 25+ plus years of experience and I am here to encourage and inspire you to walk in confidence, be proud of who you are and always display fearlessness. Your skills, education and experience are unmatched and your talent stands alone. Go Be Great! Be Resilient.