Let Me Tell You Why I’m Conflicted

Few things force you into pits of ceaseless nostalgia like watching your little girl grow up.

Of course you know that it’s happening all of the time. Little changes take place by the second, so you become used to the constant transformation.

What never sit well are the particularly poignant moments that bring the magnitude and real meaning front and center. Sometimes with great pangs and a longing for what was.

I went through this last week when my twelve-year-old daughter, Liliana, unceremoniously removed me from our lifelong and very private Roller Coaster Ride Club.

From the beginning, our adventure-obsessed duo loved exploring theme parks. Together, we’d seek out the greatest, scariest coasters that made us laugh and scream with steep drops and high speeds. Just us, always.

Turns out that I’ve been demoted and am now the chauffer and baggage handler, while two of her friends have taken my seat.

In all seriousness, I love watching my daughter as she grows into a young lady. But the experience has left me in deep thought about what our life used to be, what I miss greatly, and where it’s going.

And to be honest, I’m really struggling with the rapidly changing world and what that means for her and my ten-year-old son.

As both a father and champion of digital media, this is what keeps me up at night.

On the one hand, the democratization of distribution—a faster internet connection, the invention of user-driven platforms, a video camera in everyone’s pocket—is changing the world. In increasingly fascinating and wonderful ways.

I love this. I advocate for this. I have dedicated my professional life to this.

However, at the same time I celebrate the growth and change, it concerns me.

While we’re orchestrating the upheaval of the media world, there are a number of very real consequences going unchecked.

1.  Anyone Can Become A Star…Meaning Anyone Can Become A Star

I love the fact we live in a time when the average person with a phone can capture the world’s imagination and build a community.

Creators, such as 25-year-old Marzia, are simply amazing. This pink-haired, Italian influencer amassed a YouTube following of almost 7.5 million “Marzipans” with a unique cocktail of lifestyle, fashion, art, and beauty videos. An opportunity she’s parlayed into an independent fashion and subscription box empire.

And Marzia’s not the only one.

Thousands are building strong online platforms and thriving businesses.

Sadly, as this is an open forum, you’ll have all kinds. That includes talking heads like Lil Tay, “The Youngest Flexer in the game.”

The foul-mouthed, 9-year-old gave a cringe-worthy interview on Good Morning America, shocking and horrifying the country. As parent, I couldn’t believe her mother’s support, even encouragement, of such behavior. Completely unfathomable.

An utterly disgusting display that left the GMA host disturbed.

I’m disturbed. We all should be disturbed. This fourth grader slings garbage to two million followers.

Just like there are thousands of Marzias, there are thousands of Lil Tays. 

What does this say about the world we’re creating?

While I love that anyone can grab the limelight, where do we draw this line? I don’t want my kids watching such negative content. And yet, that being said, 30 years ago, my parents hated N.W.A.

Today, Straight Outta of Compton is art.

With digital media being so influential, our kids’ YouTube feeds say a lot about them.

Do we really want them wasting their lives with Lil Tay? Or will time leave us considering her diatribes art?

Is Lil Tay today’s N.W.A?

2.  The Definition of Pro Athlete Is Changing

Growing up, my heroes included exceptional people like Michael Jordan. Individuals who spent their entire lives training their bodies and minds to perform unimaginable feats. Acts I could only dream of, let alone complete.

Today’s top—let’s call it athlete for argument’s sake—takes a different shape. One of a person who sits on a couch for hours on end. Someone whose injuries are more likely to range from screen fatigue to overly sensitive fingertips.

Clearly, the definition of athlete is changing. 

How can we be sure?

The second most attended sporting event of all time took place at the 2017 Counter Strike Global Offensive Final held in Poland. 173,000 people showed up to watch a group of guys play a video game.

Just let that simmer for a sec.

The only event to ever top that? A 1995 World Championship Wrestling event held in North Korea that captured 190,000 attendees. 

eSports isn’t coming, friends. It’s here.

More than 285 million people tuned in last year, according to marketing intelligence firm Newzoo. Roughly the same viewership as the NFL. With 25 percent of millennials turning away, that’s causing serious issues for the good ol’ league. Instead of the New England Patriots, this industry-flipping demographic follows the Boston Uprising, a new eSports teams competing in the Overwatch league.   

And guess who’s the owner? Robert Kraft. The same guy behind the Pats. (Someone’s dialed in.)

In fact, just days ago, Activision Blizzard joined the Disney and ESPN family, with a huge deal to cover Overwatch live.

At this pace, forget the NFL. Give it five years and eSports will dominate the global playing field.

While it’s fascinating to see this new industry evolve, it’s also concerning to see what our culture will celebrate in the future. Especially when you consider that, despite the consequence of possibly suffering injuries, physical activity is good for us. (A widely accepted truth.)

Whereas, eSports promotes and celebrates a sedentary life. One lived predominantly immobile and inside, away from the benefits of nature and life in the outside world.

But just as I write that, I have to ask myself, am I being too harsh?

Like one of those ballistic writers in the 90s slamming skateboarding as fake. Even going to the extent of blaming it for the demise of sport and civilization, as a whole.

Am I like those guys, holding onto my ideas of what sport is based on what my past experiences have defined it as? Are the definitions of sport set forever? A certain type of person in a certain type of movement in a certain type of situation?

Skaters caught so much heat for being the cause of all social ills, when what they really did was force us to question our perception, redefine definitions, and adapt to change.

Ultimately, carving a road leading to 2020 Olympic pipe.

On the one hand, I don’t want my kids’ lives spent shuttered away, staring at a screen. On the other, who’s to say our favorite Overwatch players won’t make it to the 2028 Games

3.  The Rise and Rise of the Smart Phone

Did you know that we spend over five hours every day consuming or sharing various forms of content on our phones? True story, according to Tech Crunch.

To put it in perspective, that’s over 76 days a year. We spend almost a quarter of our annual time consuming or creating.

And it’s changed everything, sparking a new era of creativity and connection. The likes of which we’ve never seen. And it’s such a privilege to witness, isn’t it?

Everyone’s a reporter. Everyone’s a creator. We can always entertain and be entertained.

Problem is, we’re all so overwhelmed by the content bombardment we face every day. A constant deluge of information and images and videos and colors and messages that leaves us equally distracted and addicted. To the point where a company (ahem, Apple) is forced to create tools to help manage an addiction to a product from which it profits.

If we ever needed a wake-up call, that’d be a good one.

Addiction is addiction. Whether cocaine or Candy Crush, if an outside state-changer rules our lives, that’s a problem. No matter how you cut it.

When we lose our ability to socialize in mutually beneficial ways, that’s a problem.

I don’t want to imagine my kids growing up in a world where we (humans) forget how to have meaningful interactions with each other.

Then I consider that as part of the latch-key-kid phenomenon of the 80s, I watched a lot of TV…a lot. So, I heard the same exact thing all the time. TV would be the death of my generation.

Am I just ringing the same alarm bells my parents clanged incessantly back in the day about too much time in front of the tube?

Here’s the thing: Change is happening.

We can reminisce about the past all we want.

We can wish for the days when a star was a real star, all athletes were built like Greek Gods, and people didn’t spend a quarter of their lives on their phones. 

When our daughters had pigtails and no friends.

But, as I learned standing there in front of the Leviathan, holding three purses, life looks different now. No matter how painful, we must say goodbye to the past. Embrace the now by finding the positives in our situation and start looking towards the future.

No, Liliana and I won’t have the same relationship we once had. But as she continues to define and redefine herself, our relationship will find new ground, as well. We’ll enjoy conversations and memories created only out of who she will become, not who she is today.

What a fascinating thought to follow.

As a someone stoking the digital media fire, I have to say, I’m excited to see how this affects my children. Our capabilities for connection, growth, and creativity have never had so much potential. Who knows what they’ll be able to do, to have access to, to explore?

So, then how can I find comfort with the uncertainty of tomorrow?

I can’t say for sure, but as of now, my general approach is just by being a father.

Equipping my kids with an excellent filter for standards, directing their positivity, and teaching them where to put their time. As, no matter what the external clamoring, TV or Overwatch, our focus is always our choice.