Let me tell you a SECRET about my life

As I sit here on this sunny day, I am reminded of a time in my own life where my relationship (my marriage) was in pretty bad shape mentally, emotionally, and physically. During this time, I was a mess emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Stress was running my life, every area of my life. My ability to focus on daily tasks was impacted and often I felt so tired, from doing the simplest of things. Sleep was a big part of my day, not just because my body was feeling so exhausted, but because it was a way to escape what was happening in my life at the time.

When my life as a young military wife began, it was filled with so much newness and experiences, that at times it was overwhelming and exciting all at the same time, and my head was reeling with taking it all in and making sense of it all.

Every few years there was that excited anticipation of relocating to another state or country, and the possibilities were unbelievable and fun to think about. New cities, new people, new foods, new cultures, new languages…new, new…new.

The idea of moving created so much excitement in our home that even the thought of packing sounded fun; heck unpacking was fun because it would take so long to get your things at times you often were surprised to rediscover what you already owned. Excitement was contagious!

As much as the idea of living in a new places every couple of years and learning about new places excited me, there was a side of my life that was kept in the shadows.

On the exterior, my life and marriage looked happy and perfect. We smiled eagerly, participated in as many social events as possible, raised children who were (and still are) the apples of my eyes…everything was seemingly perfect from the outside.

My then husband was a career military man, meaning he spent 22 years serving his country from the young age of 18 to the age of 40, when he retired. He served his country proudly and strived for perfection in his service to branch and country, and expected nothing less from others.

When he went on his first deployment to the Middle East, everyone was filled with excitement and uncertainty. His return from deployment was filled with even more excitement and uncertainty. No one knew what to expect…this pattern repeated itself with a second deployment, and upon returning home, no one knew what to expect.

Relationships can be difficult whether in the military or not, relationships in general have their own set of ups and downs, learning curves, and highs and lows.

When my then husband returned from his deployments life changed for us all…

The gaps in our relationship became more noticeable, the distance grew, the talking became less…little by little our life was filled with more silence, more detachment, less intimacy, less kindness and consideration…more arguments, and less trust in each other, and more suspicion, and ultimately divorce.

The masks we wore to hide our family pain were cracking more and more each day and exposing our secrets to the world. Little did I know at that time, or understand the extent of his symptoms from post-traumatic stress as a result of the experiences from his deployment.

You’re probably wondering why I am writing about this and sharing this with you, right?

Along my journey of healing and finding my way back to love and health, I have learned some things that helped me, and have helped others with similar experiences begin and take steps to:

? rebuild their trust in another person

? lessen their suspicion about relationships

? close the gaps that destroy happiness

? find their way back to a healthy and loving relationship after experiencing post-traumatic stress from a life altering event.

No matter where you are in your relationship, if you have experienced trauma first hand or have experienced it as a spouse, partner, or family member of someone who has post-traumatic stress, the secrets to happiness and love and healing are the same...and yet different for each person.

#1: Get clear. As specifically as possible, decide what you want for you and others in this relationship. The more clear you are on what you want to have in your life, the more likely you are to achieve it.

#2: Get perspective. Most people don't tell anyone what they want or what they are struggling with and because of that they don't get an outside perspective, or because it’s too painful to share.

#3: Get support. Very few people (if any) achieve anything great alone. Sports stars have teammates and coaches, why shouldn’t you? Support is so crucial to healing.

#4: Get a tailored path of healing for your needs. The idea of healing is general, but the path to your healing is unique to you, and that’s where the distinction lies with your support from me.

Be willing to ask the people in your life to support you.

Know that I am here to support you along this journey of healing and health and happiness.

Go ahead and schedule a no-cost 30-minute session with me, and let’s discuss how you can take that first step on your unique path of healing.

Simply click this link to schedule: Love Discovery Session

To your love, expansion, and healing,

Patricia xo