Let me tell you ‘bout my best (work) friend

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the importance of adult friendships and the challenges in building them. Many of us spend 35-50% of our waking hours at work, so it makes sense that the relationships we cultivate there are amongst the closest and most important in our lives.

I have been blessed with many WBFFs (Work Best Friends Forever or Work Besties) and even now that I’m a self-employed staff of one and nearly all my WBFFs have moved on and away from the organizations that brought us together, we remain in each other's lives— in the innermost ring of adult friend circles.

Heck, even the clever people at Gallup recognize the impact of having someone who cares about you at work has on your job satisfaction and engagement and ask about it on their annual survey.

A WBFF is someone you call when the best and the worst things happen— the person you call even when the hilariously mundane things happen, for that matter.

They leave notes on your desk so when you return from back-to-back meetings, you’re alerted to important news (like a teammate’s puppy visiting in the courtyard) because they know it will make your day brighter.

They’re the ones who will scavenge their bag or briefcase when you’ve skipped lunch and offer you their last tortilla or granola bar without any hesitation whatsoever.

They instinctively know when to let you rant about Jim in HR or Margaret in Accounting and never offer unsolicited or unwanted rationalization— only commiseration in just the right amounts.

They were the arranger of your meal train when you had an unexpected loss, unplanned surgery, or when you became a parent for the first time so that you could continue to be nourished and cared for when you couldn’t do so for yourself.

They send you the perfect meme or .gif at inappropriate times, like the middle of an all-hands meeting when your boss is presenting.

They are the sole standing attendee at your “meeting after the meeting,” helping to make sense of it all when everything seems overwhelming or exhausting.

Like the world’s best cheerleader or quad-shot espresso— they bring you the energy, encouragement, and inspiration you need and never ever drain you of the little scraps of energy you have left.

They will even go as far as giving you the shirt off their back or the “back up skirt” in their filing cabinet drawer when you’ve had an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction right before your big pitch to the exec team.

They are the epitome of psychological safety—letting you be authentically you and loving you for it. They know exactly the right thing to say even when that thing is nothing but a kind, listening ear or sitting quietly out of judgment when you simply need a good cry.

For all these reasons and more, I’d like to declare today, November 28th, “Work Bestie Appreciation Day.” You see, six years ago the world lost one of the best WBFFs that ever was. I think of her on this day and the way she made me and everyone else she befriended at work feel like the most important and interesting person in the room. Our time working together was brief, but impactful. Had we more time together, I’m sure we would have become proper WBFFs. She had all the qualities I look for in one. She offered boundless energy and rich perspective in the most hilarious, charming, and perfectly sarcastic way. At her memorial service, I got to know her posthumously through the stories and tears of her nearest and dearest, it turns out she was a darned good non-work BFF, too.

To honor her on this inaugural “Work Bestie Appreciation Day,” I encourage you to do something extraordinarily kind for someone else. Make them feel important, known, and loved in the way she did. And be generous with your gratitude for your WBFFs. They are special people, indeed, and I am a better human because of mine.