Let Me Give You Some Advice

Let Me Give You Some Advice

I can vaguely remember telling friends about a struggle I was going through and the advice they offered. I remember, with clarity, a friend I was telling about a struggle and he said "how did that make you feel?" He didn't want to fix me. He didn't want to give me his life experience. He didn't want to let me know that he had seen it all and overcome it. He just wanted to know what was going on inside of me. As we talked further, I started to see my situation with more understanding and less emotion. I started to look at my own actions and how they played into the situation. Then I started asking for some advice. Somewhere inside me, I realized this wise person had drawn out my own ability to look at what was going on and create a game plan to resolve it and move forward. All the while, I also knew he had wisdom I was ready to learn and grow from.

Too often, our first response to someone's problem is how they need to fix it before they have had time to process it, understand it, learn from it and grow. We are hungry so we throw food in the microwave for a quick zap. We are bored so we turn on the TV and watch one of 100's of channels. We like quick fixes, or at least we have come to expect them and it carries over into our ability to "help" someone deal with something and move to the next thing. We have a story or insight that the other person might not have and we must share it so they will be better for it (sarcasm intended).

As I have journeyed through dark days and long valleys, I have been blessed to have the good counsel of professionals and friends alike who allowed me to use the incredible gift of my own mind to work through struggles, problems and emotional tsunamis. They were all there to do whatever I asked but, until I asked, they listened or were simply present. They didn't try to fix me, they let me do that through the gifts of my mind, heart and soul and then they journeyed with me as I got stronger and wiser. They didn't seek to give me unrequested advice before I was ready for it or even wanted it.

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