Let go of the Past
Let go of the Past
As an alienated and/or left behind parent, it is hard to push away from the torment we experience on a daily basis. When this occurs, we and our children suffer constantly due, to the vindictive actions of a former spouse or partner. It never goes away. Instead, becomes a constant companion that was never invited.
Most times, targeted parents did nothing wrong and are made victims in the terrible scheme created by the person we thought loved us as well as, justice in the family court system. This is a never ending cycle of emotional abuse that no one should ever be subjected to.
I often think about the heartache I hold inside, but more importantly what our children are forced to endure. Confusing thoughts about the absent parent, alienation, lies and the brainwashing about false memories which cause hatred. These are things that no child should ever experience. They need to know and share the love of both, a mom and dad without conditions.
Our children should never be placed in the middle of any situation caused, by the negative actions of a man or a woman who decides to separate. Instead, our children must be protected at all costs. When we choose to involve them, we are no longer a good parent because, we ultimately destroy them mentally and emotionally.
Further, we rob them of half of who they are, who they can become and the heritage they are entitled to. Unfortunately, parental alienators operate on a different psychological level than most others do. They do not have the capacity to embrace empathy or compassion or even, love. In general, they seek discord and revenge in the effort to feel good about themselves.
When parental alienation continues for any significant length of time, it takes its toll upon everyone. No one is immune and sometimes, we need to step back from the battle to heal ourselves. This process is learning how to focus on how best to survive another day.
It does not mean we are giving up on our children, but rather regaining our sense of normality and peace in the effort to bring our children home again when, the time is right. We must remain healthy in every manner possible lest, we become damaged to the point where we are no longer able to support the children who need us most.
Make no mistake, an alienator is not a good parent. They will lie, deceive and betray others in their bid to rob you and your children of any familial relationship. It is for this reason, the family courts must recognize the harm they cause when sweeping aside any and all evidence that points to the truth.
If and when the day arrives and an alienator is brought to justice, it is my hope they understand the damage they caused and reform themselves. We need this as well as, our children and other extended family members. All we can do now is, continue our efforts to make the best of a bad situation. The time will arrive when we are restored and hold our children again.
At this moment, we must let go of the past and learn to move forward if, we want to have peace in our hearts again. This does not mean giving up on our children!
David Shubert