To or not to let it go...

Last month my daughter and I took a trip to the Wayanad Wildlife Sanctuary. Wrapped within Kerala's lush landscapes tucked away is this haven of untamed natural splendour. Surrounded by rich green foliage and misty mountains, the wild sings to you as you dance to the rhythm of nature. We were on a jeep safari deep into the jungle, enjoying the cacophony of birds exchanging notes while returning home nestled in the thick canopy of trees. As the shadows lengthened, we prepared to return to the forest guesthouse, but the jeep broke down on the way.

The driver assured us he would get help and return shortly. It was scary, but we had to wait with our phones rendered useless without network connectivity. Gradually, the night chill started settling in, the forest quietened, barring the growling of hyenas at a distance, the rustling of leaves as the reptiles moved, and the occasional hooting of owls. Panicked and in tears, we were tempted to get off and walk ahead. But then, I decided to relax. Closing my eyes, and taking deep breaths, I chanted the mantra - the greatest stabilising factor in my life. I pondered, ‘Is this situation in my control?’ Getting a negative answer, I accepted the situation and prayed to the superpower. Shortly, the driver returned with another jeep, and we were safely back to our guesthouse.

When I narrated this experience to my friend, I learnt that what I practised at that hour of crisis is a timeless Japanese life philosophy – Shikata Ga Nai. When translated, it means “it can’t be helped”. I am sure many of you have already encountered such situations in your lifetime. Not getting a parking spot, not clearing an exam, missing a flight and many more such instances. The obvious response would have been to blame yourself or someone else.

While learning from one’s shortcomings is imperative, drawing a line between what can be controlled and what is uncontrollable is even more important. This distinction empowers you to accept that which cannot be changed.

I can visualize many of you thinking that’s a defeatist mindset. You are correct if you apply this philosophy in all areas of life even without making any attempt to deal with adversity. At this point, seek the answer to “Can I control it?”. In other words, inspired by Buddha’s teachings, the Shikata Ga Nai philosophy invites you to practise the powerful meditation technique of mindfulness.

Being mindful of the situation forces you to slow down your thoughts, focus on the event and determine if you can turn it around in your favour. If yes, you must take all the necessary actions. Else, it is important to desist from beating up yourself for that’s what we are commonly tempted to do. Going on a guilt trip or falling prey to the victim mindset doesn’t help the cause. Instead, it makes us feel miserable, anxious and even stressed. Over time it takes a toll on your physical and mental health – eventually even leading to depression with fatal consequences, if not addressed on time.

On the other end of the spectrum, imagine accepting the inevitability of the situation. For example, you have an uncooperative colleague or a non-supportive boss. Can you do anything to change the situation? Some may suggest a job change. Does that guarantee a lasting solution? Possibly not. You may even land from the frying pan to the fire.

Faced with circumstances beyond the circle of control, the Japanese employ the most effective technique to let go. Saying “Shikata Ga Nai”, they discover the power of moving on when encountering situations that are uncontrollable, not hard to control. There is a fine distinction. It is this power to distinguish that helps you find peace, accept what cannot be changed, and focus on what can be changed.

In fact, it’s interesting to note that His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama preaches the same philosophy when he says,” If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there’s no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”

In the process, you cultivate a sense of professionalism, compassion, and detachment, and inspire others to persevere and overcome adversity.

Yes, you are right. You can apply the principle of Shikata Ga Nai not just to yourself, but to comfort others facing unfortunate circumstances, eg, the loss of a dear one.

Although I have spoken eloquently in favour of this ageless philosophy, I would like to draw your attention to the socio-economic shift seen in the island country, particularly in the young generation.

While the country reaped tremendous benefits from practising Shikata Ga Nai in reviving itself after World War II, putting in long hours of work and compromising family life, without complaints, the younger generation chooses to dissociate itself from this philosophy. As a result, the country now witnesses attrition at the workplace, broken marriages, and a rising trend of suicides and depression – possible outcomes of the inability to deal with a VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) world.

In summary, applying Shikata Ga Nai in daily life is indeed rewarding, but the mental strength and perseverance needed to adopt this outlook are equally, if not more, daunting. ?The choice is yours. While making the choice, however, do remember to apply the philosophy judiciously. When faced with any challenge, are you telling yourself, “can’t be helped” to opt for the easy way out or taking up the road less travelled and walking till you hit the wall? Only then do you let go, saying “Shikata Nai” because you realise that the destination was not meant to be yours. With this realisation, you are relieved and peaceful, enjoying what is truly yours…