Let it fall!

@Leadership First shared a post that “Sometimes, when things feel like they’re falling apart, they’re actually falling into place. 

Maybe that’s why I always feel so calm during change. Change is inevitable and it’s scary. In my career I have watched, more often than not, colleagues get filled with anxiety and anger over change and what may come, or the inconvenience that it brings. Change has been a theme of 2020 for sure, but even before that change was something that filled so many people with nervousness. 

In my industry you can have a contract one month and the next month, have a client leave and move on elsewhere. As my team looks to find new roles within our company, I find myself calm and oddly content. I’ve almost struggled with this for the last week wondering "Why should I feel so steady when my team feels such turbulence?"

Here’s what I’ve come to the conclusion of: change is the one constant in everyone’s life, and without change and failure, growth does not happen. This I've learned through a lifetime of fast and frequent changes. I have survived through repitious states of growth, and growth state has become one of my favorite places to be. 

My second favorite place to be is watching others grow. I have zero green thumbs, except when it comes to people. I get energy from people who want to change, embrace it, and enjoy being challenged by those around them to be constantly uncomfortable. I will often tell my teams that they will never be comfortable on my team. Because I get energy from growth, I recognize that I must take accountability for my failures and work through the details and emotions that come with that. This is a complicated process though, and surprisingly enough while I embrace my failures, I have a fear of failure that often holds me back from taking big risks. 

I don’t know how you process a big failure (one that is life changing) but for me, it’s a few days to process it. I start by embracing the guilt, and anger, and frustration that comes with failure. And from that I analyze why I failed. Which brings another onslaught of guilt and doubt and a lot of times tears. But in the end, I come to an understanding of the things I want to change and that, that leads me to recognize where I can establish goals on the changes I need to make.

What better time to set goals than right now? I get so excited around the end of the year because it’s always been my goal setting time. Last year though, I wasn't ready to set my goals. In fact I didn't set my goals for 2020 until mid February! I took extra time this last year, time to assess, analyze and see what’s to come. The goals I set allowed me to find a new group of people who actually carried me through all of the changes that came with Covid. It set in motion additional spiritual focus for myself so that when Covid shifted everyone to remote work, created barriers to normal life, and to seeing family and friends, I could cope.

This year has come with many setbacks but what's interesting is that my goals, seemed to be made for this year. While there have been many failures, and I have identified many areas to which I know I need to grow. My ability to accomplish my goals for 2020, has me fired up. I am in growth mode over the most recent failures and changes, and because of the failures, I've become extremely conscious and purposeful with my goal setting. I have started establishing every piece of that goal and the action plans I will need. There are so many opportunities to fail forward. 

So while I’m looking for a new role, I find myself calm in the midst of what should be a storm. I am excited about what the new year will bring me, and I am hyper focused on finding the perfect goals to fit my growth for the upcoming year! 

Have you thought about what goals you want to focus on as we approach the new year? If not, I'd love to chat with you!