Lessons upon Lessons

I was listening to Onua Tv yesterday morning and Captain Smart took us back into time,when the cedi re-denomination happened and there was this advert and a song that accompanied it ''the value is the same, the yam you buy for 12 000 cedis is now 1 cedi 20 pesewas but the value is the same and i said to myself truly we are gullible people, if the value is the same by what stretch of imagination did we all come to accept that the cedis was stronger than the dollar in 2007 because the value is in actual fact 1 dollar to 10 000 cedis .So now in actual sense the dollar is 1 million old cedis, thats the true value,waow,waow!!!! we have come a long way.No wonder life is so unbearable these days,ask yourself did your salary go up by these geometric astronomical projections?''Ghanafuo, make you na shine ona eyes ooo''.

Then Captain went on to discuss an Audit report covering a period our current speaker Bagbin was a Board member of Ghapoha and an Mp.He was given some Nissan Patrol vehicles to support his campaign and a sum of money for a project in the North.The Audit report says that the machine for the project was not purchased , meaning Bagbin had chopped the money.But Captain is good, he spoke of the Speakers response to the audit query which is very good on his part, many journalist wont do same but Captain failed to realize that Bagbin's response that not all the money was paid means that equipment then could not have been purchased.The pricing of the vehicles in today's terms was also wrong because the vehicles as at the time of allocation together with Ghapoha drivers was 4 years old.A 4 year old vehicle in public service has undergone some massive depreciation in value .But Bagbin concluded in his response that supporting Board members was a normal practice and he had not breached any law.This is very true but it's not supposed to be but its true,no one can prosecute Bagbin on this.The reason why i am touching on this is for these reasons, many journalist read initial audit queries and draw conclusions, they don't wait for responses and in my working experience both in public and private sectors Audit reports most times are biased and not a very true reflection of the situation on the ground.,Some auditors wont ask questions and these are the ones who produce worthless reports.For those who ask questions ,some still get it wrong and when the response comes,what you hear next is a deafening silence and it's over.I have had to respond to Audit queries and i worked way into the night and when i released it was getting to 10 pm i left office.My colleague managers and i were determined to nail that report real bad because of the inconsistencies , half truths and fabrications.The Auditors spoke to us but produced a sham and our response nailed it.This particular auditor wanted to nail us , top management was not comfortable with the quality of our team but were disappointed in the end, and one Auditor was transferred to Takoradi and he refused so had to resign.Journalists should learn that there is an Audit response and final Audit report which summarizes queries and responses.

Marriage can be sweet and can be rough .There are men who flirt and their wives do not even suspect it and there are those who treat their partners badly because they met another girl so they are easily caught.The first are the matured and real men,as for the rest they are just some jerks.My friend is married but the wife is abroad, he bought a car for his girlfriend.This friend decided to end relationship with this girl due to some issues, he took back the car because its still in his name ,infact he bought it for his business but the vehicle rather ended with the girl.She uses it for her business as well and i remember last year this girl told me she wanted to buy a small car but i asked her to hold on, now her business has even grown so why is she hanging on to my friend who wont marry her or even impregnate her.She is 30 years and she drove away her fiancee .A man can have two women or more but a woman can never do it, she would be caught , this is why women cannot cheat in a relationship because when they do its disastrous, thats the world order and it wont ever change.The lady's passport is with my paddy so this lady cannot travel abroad on her own because the only passport with a visa is with my paddy.I see my paddy as a person who sold a goat but is still holding on to the tail.If i were him and i have advised him let this girl go , she has a life to live, she must marry, have kids, but you hanging around her, is preventing her from moving so you have to let her go.You may be enjoying her, she is filling a gap because your better half is abroad but you are undermining her future.

Me for one i can be in a long distance relationship because you wont believe it, since 2013 when my wife started misbehaving i have not had sex.When my father in law told me never to touch his daughter till he gives me clearance and my wife insisted i conform to the fathers instruction, even when relatives intervened, for three years we lived under the same roof,no sex and in 2016 she deserted after i traveled out of town, and i still have not engaged in any sexual relations after that.They thought they could pressure me to conform to their family whims and caprices but they failed ,and for me now ,i would never date a poor mans daughter again, never,unless the woman is independent minded because when they think they can take your family resources and make it their own,things get nasty when it expectations are not met.You can never take a family wealth and steal it into your family,it wont happen ever and it has never happened before.This is the kind of family i married into.I would keep on hammering on this whether old or young, know the family you are entering into , their values and attitude,are the parents together , if they are how are they living?, it helps a lot, don't just follow beauty.If your woman has siblings who are married how are they coping, don't ask the husbands because they wont tell you till you enter, just observe, keep eyes and ears open. Pre marital sex would make it hard for you to see the danger signs.In 2020 i tried to date someone but that lady turned out to be a narcissist like my wife.Well my wife sued me for deserting her ,very funny after she deserted 6 years ago, and last two weeks i was in court, but i served her with a response to her false Petition a day before so she did not show up except her lawyer who rather suggested counselling services for us,very funny turn of events.I was insisting on divorce in court that day because she has asked for it after 6 years of desertion , but the judge says we should go for counselling and she is hopeful i would return with positive news.I have every reason to play around but i have remained chaste and it's a blessing because in my quietness i have gotten closer to God and developed spiritually.This lady was a hindrance to my spiritual growth and out of respect to the court i would see the counselor but my mind is made up especially as she asked for divorce.And guess who i met at the court, the lady i was dating in 2020 and it failed, she also came to the divorce court and on seeing me in the waiting lobby she hanged around a bit and left to sit outside, it was funny , i pretended i had not seen her.Now i understand her actions, she never mentioned she was married.Watch out for these signs mentioned above before making a commitment whether you are a man or a woman but especially men.

Today if somebody tells my wife that at a point in my life i had a mistress she would tell you that you are a liar , even if i tell her she wont believe me.Probably that is why she and her family took me for granted and were fooling from day one.At a point i had a mistress to fill the void she had created and it was a 23 year old girl ,now she should be 30+ years.This lady lived near my area and i was her first , she was a virgin when i met her.The respect, love and understanding this girl gave me was unbelievable so i loved her in return.So when madam was using sex as a tool i was getting fulfillment elsewhere.Marriage and maturity is not about age.I regretted after my first intimacy with her because i am not that kind , i wanted to withdraw but she wont let go and this went on for 3 years.Anytime i try to back out, she resorts to emotional blackmail.There was a day i decided firmly and for two weeks i wont have intimacy with her , she came to see my wife and was sending me text messages ''should i tell her'' i replied ''no'' and she replied ''i am going home come over in 5 minutes'' before i knew it we were back together again,all these experiences are learning curves, it's not every girl you can use and dump, some are possessive so i started praying for a miracle.I made her rewrite some SSSCE papers she passed and i tried enrolling her into a nursing training school, then God intervened.The father invited her to join him in USA, she told me she wont go because of me, i told her ''hell no, you must go, life is not about sleeping and having steamy sex ,there is more to life, go improve yourself and return,i would still be there for you.'' these were my exact words so reluctantly she left.This girl was ready to take over my marriage because she saw the void my wife had created and went all out to give me her best (When a woman is determined to hold on to you its another thing,women have power).I know i left an impression on her being her first love, and if she meets anyone that person has to handle her like i did otherwise she wont appreciate that man.On my part i think she tops the list, probably it's because by my nature i am not a womanizer, and the next person in my life may exceed or may not meet her level but thats not my problem. There is this belief that a woman who is very sexy is rotten but its not true, this is a Virgin , she did not do anything extra but when a woman loves you deeply intimacy is at a different level, the holding alone is something its so firm and strong and you know this is not physical, even if she does very little, that little effort on her part is magical and you feel it inside you, those who have been through this know ,you cant explain it, i say it's spiritual.In spite of all of this i had to let her go because i wanted her to have a brighter future.She returned after barely 2 years after and tried hard to get me into sexual relations again but i turned her down.She returned to the USA and was calling almost every night so i dumped my Vodafone Sim .Though i have registered it because that is my primary number i don't have intention of using it now till i know she wont call again ,which i know she is no longer doing.I can marry her but i dont want kids anymore, i already have two,i can tolerate only 1 and it must be a girl ,is this lady ready for just no kid or 1 kid?I hope she has moved on .If she gets to know i am now single i bet you she would be coming down and thats what i am avoiding.This is why my friend i spoke of earlier surprises me at times, you can be getting all the goodies from a girl but you must be sensitive to her future growth, can you continue like this ad infinitum? at a point you ought to be selfless and let go no matter what you are enjoying or getting.When she goes you may find a person who is already made up whom you can be with till the end, and let the small girls find their level.

I would conclude by saying this, the kind of woman you date or marry would define you.Know your in laws or prospective in laws through and through, there are terrible families and these are the ones who insist on wedding because they know they are no good and wedding is a guarantee for them to misbehave because you cant back out easily once wedded and this admonishing goes for the women too.Be wary of partners who try to rush you into marriage, they have something up their sleeves most times but never joke with a woman who loves you deeply if you find one but we men we tend to take such women for granted.Marriage goes beyond sex.If you love a woman and you know you cant marry her because you are already married please let her go , let the small girls go and find their level and stop using cars and trips abroad to keep them around you, or marry them..Pastors fear to preach these realities of life.