Lessons in life are to be repeated till learnt

We all keep learning lessons from life and there are some tough lessons which need to be repeated till we get them into our brain finally as learnt lessons. By the time you reach your late twenties or initial thirties, either you remain heavily opinionated to your beliefs of your teens or change massively as you come across different people and incidents. I belong to the latter group. The lessons I learnt were that there is no friends forever. Life goes on. You move on to jobs, cities and make new friends at every point. The everlasting friendship in movies is rare. It might exist but its rare. Your friends move on. You move on. No need to hold grudges against them. It’s very normal.

Of course money matters a lot. But ultimately it comes down to peace. The fire to work late hours or give it all, has given you money, but not peace. You’ll want to get away for a while and do nothing. The crave and the importance of a simpler life dawns at you like a thunder. You have missed out on family, occasions, even a peaceful birthday of your own. And that salary is no longer giving you the ultimate satisfaction.

And people in relationships are not characterless. Goodness of a person is not just based on their sex lives. Having male friends is not a crime. Not every girl-boy sitting in a cafe are a couple or friends with benefits. They can be just friends as well. People in live-in are not bad. You, yourself, might not be comfortable in the concept of live-ins or have not experienced pre-marital sex, but you will no longer judge people based on these things.

Even if the society looks at them in a disgusting manner and so we tend to think bad about these things in our younger days, but as we age, we tend to look at one simple thing - If those two people are fine, you have no right to judge. There is more to a person than only these things. Their intelligence, their warmth towards you, their helpful nature, their humor.. these things matter more.

And interest matters. You may have taken a field out of its sheer career success rate. But years on years of working, still will not make you fall in love with it. You’ll crave for satisfaction. That heavy pay check will make you smile on that day, and the next day you’ll be back to thinking about your actual interest. You’ll want to work for your passion. Somewhere and something that would not make you feel like a robot. And that’s when you’ll realize, that in this rat race, you no longer know what your interest is. It’s gone and you search online for answers “I don’t want to code anymore, what else can I do?”

We agree that love is overrated. And so is marriage. Yes, it is. Thanks to movies. Thanks to novels. Thanks to fiction. You can survive without falling for anyone and you will. By the end of the day, you’ll crave for time for yourself and not for anyone else. Love is not rosy. It is not eternal. People fall in love many times.

People fall out of love many times. And people may never fall in love. Love is anything but what is shown in movies or written in novels. If you are committed, your bf/gf will need space. They cannot be there with you all the time. And it is nowhere romantic to have your partner tagging along with you everywhere. It only looks romantic on screen because it is only for 2–3 hours.

Obviously looks matter. This might sound extremely materialistic but yes looks matter. Anyone who says looks don’t matter at all, are either lying or are too great. The first thing someone notices about you is how you are looking and vice versa. Looks might not be the utmost priority but yes they do matter to some extent. Many will reject you because you are short, you will reject many because they are bald or paunchy or whatever. It’s okay. It happens everywhere. You’ll accept it.

Mostly kids can be annoying. Okay I might face a lot lot lot of backlash. But I am up for it. Kids can be damn annoying. Imagine you going to a theater alone just to enjoy some movie only with yourself. And its a nice animated movie, fun filled. And its not dubbed in Hindi for small kids to understand. And you have kids sitting in front, sitting beside you, sitting behind your chair. And they ask questions on every single scene and make your crazy.

Why is the mountain singing? Why is this crying? What are they doing? And before you could do anything, the kid behind you is busy firing his legs at the back of your chair like some bullet. Now you go to a restaurant with a friend. It’s been a while you have met. You want to eat a good dinner with some good conversation. And you open your mouth to speak, and the kid next to your table howls like a Tarzan. To make matters more interesting (pun intended), he runs around, howls in every corner of the restaurant and even around your table. So yes kids are not cute all the time.

And friendship is much more than timely birthday wish. Once where you would go all angry and judgmental about not being wished on our birthday, now it will not be such a life changing crime. You’ll forget birthdays of your friends and they will forget yours. It’s all part and parcel of our busy lives and we learn to let go. There is more to life and people than being a timely calendar.

The parents scolding us was not wrong. They were right all along for a lot of things and we being immature and arrogant took that in a wrong way. Sometimes scolding is the only way, we asses can be fixed.

Investing in yourself is the best investment. and health is wealth- There is no fun in life if we are seriously unwell. All money we have accumulated in our life also fails to get back our health. Often less is more- Life is all about quality not quantity. You are lucky even if you have few true friends as when the adversities come then you got to know who are your true friends. Work hard and Party Harder- No matter how hard you are working, always find some time to do things that makes you happy. Cultivate good Hobbies- A person who has a hobby is never alone. I love reading books, writing and analyzing difficult situations and these habits I have developed in the college.

Utilize your college free time- It is the time when we figure out what we want to do in life. Whether we would like to startup a company or we would like to work for a MNC or a small upcoming company. It is not just about the degree you will earn. People are life and life is all about People. Therefore, wherever you go value people. Respect them, add value to their life through your association. I am trying to add value for those who are reading this. Thank you for being patient to read me.

Networking is the key now-a-days, it is more important that whom you know. It is not about buttering or greasing someone's palm. I am bad at networking because I considered this as bad. How stupid I was? It is the best thing you can do for yourself. Keeping positive attitude always helps.

Here is a corporate story. Once a CEO asked two people whether they can do a job. It was an impossible task that the CEO was entrusting on them. The First person was honest about his feelings and told that it is not possible to get it done in the given time. The CEO called another person and asked the same question. He answered that although it seems difficult but I am sure that I can do it with your support. The CEO nodded in affirmation. The second person asked for more resources and more authority to get the work done. The CEO agreed. Later, the second person really get that work done and the CEO informed everyone that the second person was having a Positive attitude and hence he trusted him more than the first one.

Finally the drugs/alcohol are not solution to any problem. Though I have never done that, but honestly, they are not the ultimate fun. You’ll get more enjoyment in simple get together and talking with your friends. Remembering your old school days, your crushes, the silly things you did in front of your teachers. Hell, even sleeping undisturbed will be more fun. In any case, what’s fun in things you can’t even remember the other morning. Stay blessed! #kishoreshintre #possessedbywritingspirit