Lessons Learnt - Inner Strength

I would first like to thank a whopping 550+ people who subscribed to my first newsletter, encouraging and supporting me to express more.

So here is another lesson I learned about 33 years back, during my internship at Raymonds Limited under Mr K D Sharma, Plant HR Head. He would religiously meet me every day in the morning for a small chat where he would talk about anything and everything about life.

One day he said you should not be like a leaking tap. For a moment, I did not understand. He saw the puzzle on my face and said "If you notice a leaking tap, you generally stop paying attention to the same. You ignore and pass by. You should be like a tap that is closed. If people need water, they will open the tap and drink water." According to him, you should be like a closed tap. Do not give out advice or provide insights till someone asks you. Free advice has no value. Today for some reason remembered this advice.

Another piece of advice on similar lines was shared with a very senior trainer (he was 65 yrs at that time) whom I had engaged at Patni way back in 2003- 2004 approx. He was an expert on filing patents and copyrights. He was an advisor to many organizations. I had read about him in a newspaper and approached him. He said " I will gladly come for the session but you need to pay for my session" I gulped down my excitement of engaging him in what we called "Mindshare" where we invited experts from various fields for knowledge share. I thought I could not afford him. Still, with great courage, I asked him " How much?". He said a minimum of Rs 5000/- for a one-day session. I fell out of my chair. I thought he would ask for about 60000/- to 70000/- per day. I asked him why. He said it was not that I needed the money. You will not value my advice or teaching if I give you free. Even if you pay a nominal amount, you will try to get the maximum value out of it. There is a high likelihood that you will implement some learning for a session, and you will ensure that your employees attend the session. That is when I understood the value of advice. Since then, I have made an effort to learn from interactions with people. Everyone teaches something.

I am still not able to implement the first advice of not to advise if you are not asked, because of the dilemmas that I have. My principle is if I know something I need to share it. It is for the other person to use it or not. This struggle seems to be unresolved to date

While I was wondering about it, a quote that my daughter shared, helped me. It takes a lot of inner quiet and leads to outer strength. So I have this inner restlessness, which makes me share everything I want to. I am trying to work on that inner strength to hold on to my thoughts and be quiet. This is helping me to be like a closed top. You are full inside and share if someone wants to listen. Else you are happy with what you have. !!!!

Do share, which one of the approaches you would like to take and why.

1. Do not share any advice if you are not asked.
2. Share experiences or advice if you can get some benefit out of it ( monetary or not).
3. Share advice wherever possible and let the listener decide.