Lessons learned

I’ve often looked back and wondered if I knew what I know now, would I have done things differently. It’s frustrating knowing that I would have made a few decisions differently, but then again life is the most thorough of teachers.?

So I thought I would share my top ten life lessons. Although all of these lessons are important to me, I’ve ordered them from most important to least significant impact on my life.

1. Never give up.?

Resilience is often spoken about as being a major differentiator on the success of everything from startups to marriages. On my daily running route, I run past a Banksy quote that obviously inspired a local graffiti artist “If you’re tired, learn to rest, not to give up!”.? Obviously there are exceptions to this lesson, for example if you’re in an abusive or dysfunctional relationship, there are very good reasons to “give up” on that relationship. That said, all other things being equal, grit and resilience are lessons that will largely serve you well in life. For me, finishing my doctorate, starting Franc and ultra trail marathon training, had more to do with sticking with it than anything else.

2. Love what you do.?

My father had a big influence in my life. He was a very talented man, who could have done many different things in life had he applied himself. At the urging of his father, he studied electrical engineering (it was post-WW2 era and professional qualifications were all the rage) yet flying was always his passion. After graduating, he joined the airforce and soon found his niche as an aeronautical engineer and test-pilot. He impressed on me how important it is to be driven by your passions, even if you can’t see a viable “end-point”.?

When I look back on my career, I never had a major epiphany about what passion in life was. Instead, I had many local epiphanies. And most often it was a reaction to an experience “I know I definitely don’t like that”. So to those of you, like me,? who don’t know what your passion is. Don’t worry, it will find you. Just follow your nose. Stay clear from what you know you don’t like, keep trying new things and you will find your way.

3. Don't listen to the little wo/man in your head.?

The essence of this lesson is to be true to yourself. It’s harder when you’re younger to find your groove when you spend so much time trying to fit in as a teenager and then as a young adult. Yet doing so can lead to a life spent pretending to be someone you’re not. Life is too short for that. A little trick I developed was to reflect at the end of the day when my head hits my pillow, how many of my actions today were authentic and what was driven by a desire to please others. That seems to keep me on the straight path. And what I’ve found (in time) is that this actually becomes easier to live up to over time.

4. Take risks.?

Although I now think of myself as a natural risk taker, I’ve realised that this has both a nature and a nurture element to it. I know that I am, by nature, driven by dopamine and the simulation that comes with novel experiences. Whether that is more or less than other people, I’m not sure. But I’ve also realised over time that there is more to be gained by taking a risk than not. I often have to defend myself to friends and family, arguing about how I take calculated risks when I go surfing, rock climbing, hiking, trail running etc. And in truth, all my risky actions that could be perceived to be risky have a level of calculation to them. However, what’s interesting is that your calculations are built off past experiences. So the more risks you take, the more confident you become in taking more risks.

5. Do something important.?

Thomas Hobbes famously said that life is “nasty, brutish and short”. In many ways, I believe this is true, which is why I believe it’s so important to do something that matters. But it’s more than that. My mother drummed into us Luke 12:48 “To those to whom much is given, much is expected”. And there is no denying that I have been incredibly fortunate in the education and opportunities that I have received in my life. Yet I’d like to think that I’ve always been able to make the most of them and furthermore always applied my knowledge and skills in tackling what I believe to be important problems, specifically personal health and now financial health.

6. Focus on signal over noise.

These days there is noise everywhere.? In the infamous words of Steve Bannon “flood the zone with shit” has come true. It’s an age when people don’t know who to trust and what is true anymore. Now more than ever the burden of finding true signal over all the noise sits on us as individuals. But this lesson does not only apply to politics and current affairs, it is also true in the workplace and other spheres of life.

7. Seek out problem solvers.?

Fortunately the world is full of problems, some technical, some social. As an engineer who loves solving problems, I’m naturally drawn to people who are inclined to solve problems. But I’ve also realised that there is something contagious about solving problems. And the more you surround yourself with people who are motivated to solve problems the more likely you are to want to do the same.

8. Befriend great people.?

The world is full of people. I’m sure you’ve had moments in life when you’ve come across someone who has inspired you. My advice, aggressively befriend those that do. Inspiration is hard to find, so when you find it, hold onto it. Nurture it as you would a precious bonsai by giving it daily attention and love.

9. Make beauty.

I love art but I believe that beauty cuts across so many aspects of life. To strive to create beauty in whatever you do will fill you with a sense of satisfaction that is hard to dismiss. It means that every time you see what you have created, you know that the world is better for it.

10. Work hard.

It’s trite to say, but worth saying. There is pride in working hard. No matter what work you are doing, apply yourself fully. Never stop learning.