Lessons Learned pt 2

On Sunday I was driving home from a weekend trip spent with a group of some of my ladies from college and it was also International Women’s Day. I was feeling all women-inspired. Then I started to reflect on some of the remarkable women I have met since I moved to Orange County. I feel such immense gratitude that they have all taken the time to sit with me, inspire me, and share words of wisdom from their personal experiences. 

How I have chosen to not take these moments for granted is to share them (and quite frankly some of them are too good not to!) So here goes part 2 of ‘Lessons Learned’.

If you type “Boss Lady” into Google, Cheryl Osborn’s name will pop up. She taught me to stay authentic to myself and not to let the nature of my job, industry, or the fear of being ‘different’ inhibit me from letting my true self shine. Cheryl taught me to embrace my individuality, because that’s what makes Isabella, Isabella. It feels sometimes in the corporate world we’re all trying to blend in, but Cheryl taught me to stand out. You don’t have to change who you are to be successful or to command respect; it’s your actions and character that prove that. 

Amber Jones is a full time business woman and a full time momma. Yes, she does it all; I think it’s her motherly instincts that make her the strong manager she is. Amber and I grabbed dinner a few weeks ago and one of the first things she said to me was how special the friendships I have are. She said it’s really special how the women in my life, whether they’re in Los Angeles, Portland, Maine, or 2 blocks down the road, we find time for one another. You have to keep your girl gang close! The women in my life lift me up while grounding me all at the same time. A part of building an empire is the company you keep, so I challenge you to send an extra text, or better yet, pick up and call the people who are there for you at the end of the day. Tell them you love them.

I don’t know how I managed to get 45 minutes on Rebecca Hall’s calendar, but I did and I am so grateful that happened. I was taking notes our entire meeting because everything that Rebecca had to share was valuable, honest, and made me want to conquer the day. But it was as we were walking out of the coffee shop that she made a statement that has got me thinking all week: “don’t use negative women talk”. I had just shared with her a strategy I created and commented I didn’t want to come off as “manipulative or conniving”. She responded, men would be using words like “strategic”, not “conniving”. Sheryl Sandberg states in her TED Talk “what the data shows above all else is one thing, is that success and likability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women”. Let's adopt positive women talk! Change the data. Some learn this by watching a TED Talk, others from sharing a cup of coffee with Rebecca Hall. 

Kathleen Neary’s greatest gift she’s taught me has been through her actions. Since I’ve moved to Orange County, Kathleen has treated me to coffee, cooked me dinner twice in her home, introduced me to her family, shared with me personal stories about family, love, loss. She has gone above and beyond to be a friend. How often do people professionally lay a groundwork of friendship first? Kathleen does. People in her personal life adore her because of her natural sparkle, but people in her professional life seek to be close to her because no one takes the time to invest in the friendship the way she does. Be a friend first, lead with a kind heart. The business will follow.

Linda Padilla, I don’t know if you know this, but you were my first ‘meeting’ of my new chapter in CRE. What I have learned from you has come from the compliments the community has shared about you. Your reputation. Whenever I meet someone new and I reference your name I hear adjectives describing you as "lovely, strong, hard working, a force, remarkable". Linda, you taught me the value of a strong reputation. In our meeting you said "don't ever burn bridges, this community is too small. Always be the bigger person and leave the door open". We become so emotionally attached to our clients, deals, sales, that sometimes emotions get the best of us. You taught me to pause, and think about the reputation I want to leave behind. As I build my network I hope the same adjectives are being used to describe me.

So, there we have it. Authenticity, friendships first, positive women talk, actions speak louder than words, and put emphasis on your reputation.

Thank you to the women who have shared their knowledge to impact the next generation. You've inspired me and hopefully some of my LinkedIn network as well.