Lessons Learned from the Worst Business Coaching Experience of My Life

A Story From High Hopes to Deepest Disappointment

Disclaimer: All the details in this article are based on my real personal experience without any details changed except for one tiny twist you will discover if you read until the very end (don’t you cheat!). I hope this story will lead to reflection and intentionality if you ever plan to hire a business coach.

When I started my own solo business, I did the most logical thing in the world: I hired a business coach. And another and another. In fact, I had multiple coaches over approximately three years. I felt them for various reasons: sometimes, it was simply graduating out of a coaching program without them offering students to continue. Other times, I didn’t feel I could learn more from them. But also, deep down, I felt that sooner or later, I’d met the mentor of my dreams -”the one” — my guru. And I did, except it was more of a nightmare than a dream.

Here are the ten things that made this business coach the worst I’d ever encountered:

Red Flag 1: She Expected Me To Pay (Quite a Bit)

She wanted payment upfront and on time. I mean, I was expecting to pay a coach when I had the money so it could be any time someday. I couldn’t really give her a specific date. Her fees were also higher than I’d paid in the past. Between you and me, coaches shouldn’t earn more than a qualified virtual assistant. I mean, all they do is talk to you, not do all the “real” work. At least my VA does something. Who did this coach think she was?

Red Flag 2: She Didn’t Deliver Enough Feel-Good Praise

A good coach should devote the session to listening to the client’s problems with a mixture of empathy, genuine care, and wisdom and never point out the things they could do better at. I expected her to give me a strong pep talk about how amazing I was and I could do it and end with a powerful piece of advice that would solve all my woes, like magic. You won’t believe what she did instead! She actually looked at what I was doing and gave “constructive feedback” on….everything! She reviewed and commented and marked up things and gave me all kinds of corrections to make. I definitely did not want to pay only to be told what I could do better.

Red Flag 3: She Expected Me To Commit To Business Goals

Furthermore, she wanted me to commit to business goals. And not just any lofty goals. No, this coach wanted SMART goals with numbers and deadlines. This infuriated me because everyone knows growing a business has nothing to do with numbers and metrics. Boring! Plus, how was I supposed to commit to anything when business is all about living in the moment and seeing how things go? Of course, I would just try a bunch of things and see what worked. Her expectations were too high: No business owner really has long-term goals. She clearly knew nothing about being a good coach or about business (her 20+ years of business experience was probably made up). By this point, I should have left…

Red Flag 4: She Had A Whole Agenda For Business

Everyone knows a business coaching session is all about the client and go-with-the-flow. I pay for my time and I expect the coach to let me speak freely about anything that comes into my head in whatever order I feel like. But this business coach insisted on following an agenda and a methodology to grow the business. In fact, she had a whole program she designed and wanted us to cover the main points, all in a certain order without skipping. Super boring and annoying. I just want to skip around. After all, I don’t have time to cover boring stuff.

Red Flag 5: She Gave Homework

To make things worse, this coach expected me to do the work to solve my own problems. In between sessions, she expected me to fill out worksheets, watch videos or read, do social selling, purchase a software, or get a new professional headshot. Why did I even hire her then? Coaching is about showing up and spilling my heart to her, then getting praise. I should not be required to take action to grow my business. Totally out-of-line.

Red Flag 6: She Held Me Accountable

My awful nightmare coach told me I was 100% responsible for my growth. She wanted me to track my time and activities and then hold me accountable for doing the work she had given me and the “goals” we’d set (really she set them, I could care less about goals). As if I am not a responsible adult who can manage my own time and achieve goals without her. Go figure, she was clearly not a true professional. Everyone knows a business coach has to deliver. If my business doesn’t grow, it is her fault. Why am I expected to do anything, especially all the yucky stuff she asked me to do like selling? No thank you.

Red Flag 7: She Asked Too Many Questions

Coaching with this business coach was like going to a doctor’s visit. She wanted to know everything. She spent at least one-third of our sessions that I paid for quizzing me. She asked me questions about my business activities, my sales numbers, and how many leads I had in the past week. How nosy! My business or my activities are none of her business. She was supposed to stick to coaching.

Red Flag 8: She Spied On Me Online

Can you imagine this? This terrible business coach actually visited my website and would notify me of broken links, send screenshots of cut-off imagery, and criticize my site. But she didn’t stop there. She did the same thing on my socials. I felt constantly spied on. It was so over-the-top.

Red Flag 9: She Never Told Me What I Wanted To Hear

Each session, all I needed to hear was that I was doing a great job and that I should relax and take things easy. I wanted her empathy about how hard my life was with my long list of complaints. But I got the exact opposite: It was all about tough love, hard questions, SMART goals, KPIs, my activities, or giving me business advice. No cheerleading, or listening to my woes. Only strategy and work. Nothing like a real business coach is supposed to do.

Red Flag 10: She Cared More About The Money In My Business Than I Did

The most annoying thing was her persistent manner of focusing on sales, revenue, growth, and profits. She was ruthless at pushing me to do more in my business: increase my pricing, put myself out there more, ask for new business, follow up on sales calls, build more programs, etc. She always wanted me to talk about money when that is my least favorite topic! She really acted like I should care about building a 6- or 7-figure business or something. The role of a business coach is to be chill and listen to whatever is on my mind and sales is definitely not my top concern. I mean, getting a client here and there is enough and I am not comfortable charging money because that’s “sleazy”.

So there you have it: the worst coach I ever hired. She wasn’t the first and she won’t be the last. I’ll just keep going and investing in various programs until I’ve spent a small fortune. Someday I may finally make some money in my business or maybe I won’t. We’ll see — life is a journey and all we can do is be happy and avoid coaches who hold us accountable and make demands to do things that are totally uncomfortable. Deadlines are for losers. Good riddance!

So there you have it — the whole story…almost.

There is one tiny detail I didn’t mention: the identity of this awful coach. You definitely need this information. Or else how would you avoid her? The coach in question is the author herself — me — and the remarks above are all true but said but a client who I parted ways with who — to my knowledge — is still hopping coach to coach thinking someday the business idea will actually work out and still hasn’t made any money. Geez — I can’t imagine why! So the revised title could better read “Lessons Learned from the Worst Business Coaching Client of My Life.” I’d love to hear your thoughts about this article and if you’ve ever experienced anything like this with a client from hell. Thanks for reading and be safe out there!