Lessons Learned from Unplugging for a Month

On March 16, I shared the news that I was embarking on a first-ever four-week sabbatical.? I was giddy just thinking about it—I was going to unplug and detox and unwind and do whatever the heck I felt like for a full month.? ?And I promised to share my thoughts and insights upon my return.

So here I am (a week late as it were) with the official rundown of what it’s like to actually stop working for an extended period of time.

In a word, it’s amazing.

My sabbatical was literally everything I hoped it would be—relaxing, reenergizing, reinvigorating.? And mostly because I didn’t actually do anything of consequence.

The first question everyone asked me was, “What are you going to do?” always sort of hinting toward some grand notion of exciting travel plans, a big adventure, or some long-overdue and indulgent self-care.?

I can proudly say that I did none of the above.? I had one significant accomplishment (read on, it’s for later), and beyond that, I really didn’t do much.? Instead, I just was.??

Or wasn’t, I should say.? For the first time in two decades, I wasn’t in a rush.? I didn’t have anywhere to be. I wasn’t trying to get through a to-do list.? I wasn’t aiming to overachieve in any aspect of my life—even the ones that seemed like a good idea at first.

Case in point—week one I entertained the idea of becoming a super mom and made both filet and halibut.? I also baked cookies and conjured up a TikTok recipe my daughter sent me.? Very quickly, however, my zest for being a gourmet fizzled out, and by the last week I was encouraging take-out whenever I could.

I also didn’t work out every day—which seemed like a no brainer at first.? Sure, I had dreams of eating healthy and becoming super fit in four weeks, but both of those seemed like too much effort as well.? WSJ's Rachel Feintzeig shared her big plans for her sabbatical and funny enough, we diverged at the start but wound up in pretty much the same place by the end.

On the flip side, I took lots of long walks with my dog Wriglie (likely the second biggest beneficiary of my sabbatical).? I had lunch with my mom.? I read a couple of great books, worked out when I felt like it, took naps, picked up my kiddos from school, binge watched a couple of shows, and delighted in just being around and not being busy. ?My two big outings included an afternoon at the Art Institute with my hubby and dropping in as the mystery reader for my bestie’s 1st grade class.

Mostly, I noticed how my mind and my body felt calm.? I didn’t mind sitting in traffic (which is bonkers because I’m a notoriously impatient person who is often running 5 minutes late and needs to get there NOW).? I walked to the grocery store and didn’t calculate how much faster it would have been to drive.? I missed several important emails regarding school sports and didn’t really care (but felt incredibly grateful that other parents were reading emails and thus got my son safely to his game when the bus broke down).?

I acutely felt the absence of email in my life sitting in a coffee shop waiting for a friend (for all of 3 minutes). What do you do when you don’t have to check in? I looked around at everyone staring at their phones as I sat waiting idly, gazing out the window—not even tempted by technology because the news and social media seemed entirely overwhelming (and unappealing) too.?

I was so anti “doing anything” that even online shopping was muted by the idea of having to box up a return (I mean, is that not the absolute height of laziness?). It also seemed like a bad idea to spend money while I wasn’t earning any.

So given all that, given what I didn’t do – I’m amazed at how much I did learn.? How much I did see – almost like an anthropologist peering into my life from afar.

Here are my biggest takeaways:

• Being busy is not a part of my identity I want to lean into.
• Being productive has trumped most other parts of my life—to a degree that is borderline insane sometimes.?
• Unplugging is life-changing (and yet soooo not easy)
• Being intentional about carrying this experience forward is now a top priority for me

Being Busy

It’s old news now, but I do often tell my Kellogg students not buy into the idea of busyness as a status symbol. ? ?It’s a lesson I needed to relearn.? It felt so incredibly indulgent and luxurious to bring the gift of time back into my life.? I’ve been time-blocking every aspect of my days and weeks for so long now that I had genuinely forgotten what it felt like to have an abundance of that most-precious resource back in my control.?

I recognize that a sabbatical is an incredible indulgence – financially and otherwise—and not realistic for many.? But it’s worth asking the question: how can you bring some more white space into your day?? Can you build some mini sabbaticals into your life? ?

I’m going to take small breaks whenever I can.? Just today I blocked off two no-meeting days in May and a “quiet” week in August—not for vacation, not for any big plans, just to have no scheduled activities.? Just for white space.? Just to be.?? The thought of going another 20 years without meaningful pauses is simply untenable.? ?

Being Productive

This is the hardest one for me.? I wear my productivity on my sleeve like a badge of honor.? I also rely on it as a coping mechanism for when things go wrong—I know that the lure of productivity is going to drag me out of whatever dark place I’m in—because there’s sh*t that has to get done and I’m not going to let myself or anyone else down.

So, I’m rethinking how productive I really need to be and trying to be nicer to myself about letting go of some of the expectations (my own and from others) so that I can realistically exceed client expectations without losing my mind and sanity.? And still be a good friend, wife, mom, daughter.? And also sleep and workout and go for the occasional facial without feeling guilty. ?Am I at risk of becoming a slacker?? I’ll let you know as I take everything down a notch. ??Stay tuned on that one.

Unplugging

If I could throw my inbox out the window I would.? Nothing stresses me out more than email.? I didn’t achieve inbox zero like I had hoped / committed to (more on that next week when I share my sabbatical fails), but I’ve set some new boundaries.? No more checking email when I wake up or before bed.? I’m thinking 9 am to 9 pm as the outer limits for me (sorry if those sound terrible to you).? Starting my day off without checking my phone immediately is like a little slice of heaven – I’ve felt differently all week with that one little change. ?

I’m also leaning liberally into deleting messages that I don’t get to right away and assuming you’ll reach back out to me if you really need me.? ?And social media—the jury is still out on that one but I’m rethinking my relationship to life online and setting aside time to figure out what will work for me.

Being Intentional

As with anything—it takes a whole lot of intention to make change happen.? Just yesterday, an article by Ezra Klein landed in my inbox about saying goodbye to Gmail after 20 years.? His words resonated deeply: “My digital life is a series of monuments to the cost of combining maximal storage with minimal intention.”? I have a few closets that mirror that.?

More significantly, there are a lot of things in my life that have likely taken root without repeated and renewed intention.? What changes do I want to make to my schedule, my priorities, my work-habits?? ?

The two big questions I asked my team my first week back at work were:? What was better without me?? And what was worse?? There is learning everywhere when we take the time to notice.

******************

So, here’s where I land, unequivocally: taking a sabbatical was the BEST thing I’ve done in a long time.? I’m going to start making the business case for it to all of my clients.?? There were fails too, of course – which I’ll share here soon…

In the meantime, the one thing of consequence I did achieve?? My husband Eric and I filmed our application video for #TheAmazingRace. So, if I disappear again, it’s to race around the world on network TV :)

?