Lessons Learned From My Puppy – Part II

Back in September, I wrote about finding my purpose through puppy raising. It is truly one of the greatest joys of my life – having the opportunity and honor of raising these puppies and knowing that their ultimate journey is to provide the gift of service and independence to their “forever person.” 

This month we celebrate Todd—my service pup who has been with me for 18 months (longer than the usual stint – COVID prolonged his stay)—whose time has come to go off and complete his next set of training before being placed with a client. I am so proud of Todd and all he’s accomplished, despite the challenges 2020 presented (yes, 2020 was also tough for pups!). Once a jetsetter—learning and socializing on planes, trains, automobiles, and in meetings—Todd’s training was forced to shift and adapt to the remote world. And while we had to adjust, Todd stayed the course, mastered his commands and hit all his milestones, and is now ready to go to In For Training (IFT) where he will learn advanced skills (such as harness and nightmare training) – that he couldn’t otherwise learn from me. While tears are certainly going to be shed and we will inevitably miss him, I couldn’t be more excited for him to continue his purposeful journey. People often ask “how can you do it?”—giving up a puppy—but I know that Todd (and every other service puppy in training) is going to change someone’s life in the next minute, hour, day, and year—and that’s why I will continue to provide my service and my time and my heart—to raise service puppies!

And talk about an emotional turnabout – the same day (literally) that we congratulate Todd for this major milestone, we welcome our new service puppy. It’s going to be a quick pivot—going from living with a dog who is so well trained and accustomed to our routine, to having an 8-week old puppy—but I am excited to welcome this new little guy. And so it begins again, the cycle of love, training, growth, pride, and ultimately, despair – a bit of my life and my love shared with this puppy will be carried now and throughout his journey. 

Each puppy I’ve raised has his/her own unique personality, and while the steps to raising these puppies follows a plan, each dog is a bit different (after all – everyone one of us, and the puppies are no different, have their own quirks – a unique snowflake different and special amongst all the rest!) and teaches me so much. No matter the pup’s personality, the time spent together is full of lessons – not only for the pup, but for me as well! I discussed this notion a bit in the last piece I wrote – lessons learned around the importance of sleep and recharging, performing under pressure, and the value of clear communication. But honestly, there’s so much more they teach me, so with a new puppy coming into the house, I thought I would share some more of the leadership lessons I’ve learned from my puppies.

Confidence. Dogs are pack animals – they instinctively look for the leader of their “pack” for guidance, rules, and protection. In the human/pup relationship structure – the human is the leader, and that human needs to be strong and confident—yet empathetic—enough to set the rules and be clear with commands in order to maintain structure and stability. With puppies—especially new ones—it’s when we give mixed signals, or show signs of weak or missing leadership – that puppies become confused and uncertain as to the “ask” at hand. Puppies are more cooperative, more willing, and more secure in their training with a calm, confident, clear leader – and at the same time, having good, old-fashioned fun. Same tends to apply for humans, too. If I—as a leader—show a lack of confidence, my team will lose trust and chaos may occur among the team. This confidence comes in all forms—I need to be confident enough to make decisions, and I also need to be confident enough to ask questions leaning and learning from people around me—and knowing when to leverage different approaches for various situations. Likewise, sometimes the choices we make might not be the most well-liked, but may indeed be the most needed to achieve the end-goal… I need to have the confidence to make and stand by that choice.

Patience. If you’ve ever had a new puppy (or a baby or a plant!) you know how those first few weeks are – varied sleep schedules, shoes (or furniture) must be locked and put away, and suddenly the whole house is a bathroom. It can test your limits and make even the most patient person lose their cool. But as they say – patience is a virtue (and one that needs continual practice). Having had several puppies throughout my life (family dogs in addition to service dogs), I’ve learned to practice my calm when there are disruptions or when things don’t go as planned – which is often the case. In my line of work (and with the puppies), patience and a sense of calm are critical success factors, but let’s face it we don’t always get it “right” – not every time, not even me. After all, a good, effective leader teaches with patience and empathy – inspiring trust and confidence. Throughout even the most basic of puppy training activities, while accepting your role as leader for your puppy, you set yourself up as the person your puppy looks to—and trusts—to make the right decisions – with a healthy dose of tail wagging.  

Fail safely. Puppies—and people—make mistakes. They don’t make it outside fast enough to go to the bathroom, confuse commands, and don’t always perform as expected. What are you going to do? Yell? No. You love the puppy, and you use these missteps and mistakes as a teaching moment, maybe even ultimately benefiting from the failure. Sometimes your puppy—and your people—are going to make mistakes or even fail, and as a leader, you need to proactively allow for that situation to happen by creating a safe space filled with support, empathy, and trust. It allows for more creative thinking and problem-solving and makes your team stronger in the long run because while we may fail at some juncture in this thing called life (we wouldn’t after all be taking risks if failure wasn’t an option) – it’s the notion of wanting to learn along the way to perhaps not repeat those same mistakes, and grow stronger in our pursuit of tomorrow.

Stay present. During training and playtime, puppies need our full attention – no texting, multitasking, online shopping, or daydreaming. The same goes at work (and, honestly, with family and friends…) When meeting with an employee about anything important, that discussion warrants your full attention and no distractions so that they not only feel—but can tell—that you really care about them and that nothing else is as important right then and there. That attention trickles down – if my team thinks that I am not paying attention or in the moment, it gives them permission to do the same to others. Be the leader – stay present.

As Todd goes off to IFT, with tears running down my face, I cherish every moment that Todd taught me over the course of our time together, and how much JOY he’s brought into our house and our hearts. It’s an incredibly bittersweet moment to say goodbye, but I carry the lessons from Todd and from his training with me as we welcome a new puppy with open arms and full of purpose. Likewise, as Todd prances excitedly into his advanced training, he knows that he, too, has accomplished so much already on his “goal ladder” as he embraces his future role as a “leader” for his “forever person” who will rely on his training and skills—something that I had a role in shaping along the way—providing the ultimate gift of mobility and freedom.… and when I need to remind myself, I simply think about what Dr. Seuss once said: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”