"Lessons Learned From My Favorite Coaches"

    Life, sports and business mirror and parallel themselves in so many ways. And during my life and being involved in both sports and business I have learned lessons, both positive and negative from many of the coaches I have been associated with. The simple reality is to take away the positive lessons and emulate those, make them your own; and from the negative learn what NOT to do.

           I have been involved in sports my entire life, playing: basketball, TaeKwonDo, lacrosse, tennis and swimming to name a few; a couple of which I rose to very high levels. As I’ve become older I now see the many things they said to me, ways they tried to encourage me to be the best that I could be – how those lessons have helped me in my business and personal life. I am not without fault and I fail regularly, however I do my very best to learn from those failures in an effort to become better. Here are a few anecdotal lessons that have served me well; hopefully they will give you some help and encouragement as you move forward with your career.  

           I’d like to get this point out of the way. You may have had a coach or business mentor that was not kind in fact they were mean-spirited and degrading – there is no place for that in any form of business or life situation…you can learn from these folks as well – don’t be like that, have a positive attitude you will get some much more from people when you do. I have had clients, bosses and coaches that felt that intimidation was their only method of teaching or communicating; for me like many of you it actually created barriers of resentment and distaste. I heard a quote once that went something like this; “Rather than lighting the fire underneath someone, it is better to light fire INSIDE them”

Never Forget the Basics – my TaeKwonDo instructor was dear to me, always poised and in control, patient and tolerant. I am happy to say that I was one of his best students, I respected him immensely. One late afternoon, while training for the U.S. Olympic Trial Meet in California, my teacher Grand Master Peter Cha came up to me and asked me to do a series of basic kicks: front kick, back kick, side kick etc. After executing the kicks as instructed he said, “…do one thousand times more with each leg, then you can go home”? He walked out of the do-jang and into his office and watched from the one way mirror as I proceeded for the next two hours executing these basic kicks. Afterwards while changing from my uniform he came in and said, “Are you angry with me?” I said “no, but I don’t understand , I am one of your best students, you have seen me perform those kicks to perfection for the past sixteen years, I just don’t understand why you would have me do those so many times?” His response will live with me until I die. “When you learned to write could you just sit down and write a story?” “No” I responded. That’s right, you practiced the letters, then learned the words, then sentences, paragraphs and you developed the story and each time you wrote a story you practiced the letters…these are the basics, never forget the basics”, and then he left the locker room. As I write this it takes me back to that very day, I remember him saying this to me like it was this moment. Calmly, patiently and with respect…it was a test and a lesson but done in such a powerful way.

Show Up Every Time – on a recent trip to Florida with my wife, I scheduled a tennis camp for the both of us and it was the experience of a lifetime, not only for the tennis instruction but the amazing coaching that went on at the facility. We were met the first morning by an upbeat coach named Roger who was fifty-one years old and had been at the facility since he was sixteen. Roger was their first a student, and now works as one of the tennis pros. From the first handshake, he knew our names, listened, looked us in the eye and EVERY minute he was encouraging teaching us lessons with each hit of the ball. After day one and four continuous hours of drills I was drained, sore and didn’t want to come back for day two…before I left he said; ‘eighty percent of winning is just showing up’. Now I heard that before, but that day, in that moment, he knew what to say to encourage me to come back. That evening, while lying in bed I couldn’t get that out of my head and the next morning, still aching and tired I got up and made the effort and we had an incredible class. The next day, Roger, still positive looked at me knowing what condition I was in said, “Cliffy, you’re a winner”. I will never forget that experience and will do everything I can to be just like that with the folks that I coach professionally.

Be Coachable – my track coach in college was an amazing guy, slow to anger, firm and managed to get EVERY bit from each of the guys on my team…we were good and it was because of his teaching and coaching methods that caused us to gel and become the very best. I remember him saying over and over, “Listen and try it, there is nothing you can’t accomplish” and when we failed he never became irrational, arrogant or got in anyone’s face and screamed…no belittlement he gave so much respect and commanded it back ten-fold.

           As I move through life, I have the incredible opportunity to teach others, learn from others and I never take that for granted. I love sharing, I love giving back and sharing the lessons I have learned from others. I remember both of my amazing children asking me what it takes to be successful in sports while in college; I gave them both the same answer; “…be eligible first and be coachable…” No college coach wants an academic headache on his or her hands, and furthermore they don’t want a know-it-all on the team either.

Go to class, be respectful of your teachers and get the assigned work done. NO EXCUSES. When you go to practice, be open to absorb and learn all you can, ask questions but never question their decision…be coachable! I am proud to say that both of my children were exceptional athletes and great students so proud of them both. They are well rounded, my daughter Caitlin works for a top US contractor and my son Alex is a Navy Pilot - couldn't be more proud of both of them

I admire and appreciate the people i my life that give and have given me positive feedback, those who have allowed me fail and grow at the same time, my master teacher, my track coach and my tennis coach Roger. They taught me valuable lessons that I will continue to carry me – hopefully I am doing them proud by doing the same.

What about you will you lead with positive lessons? I am confident you will.

Until next the next time we meet…continued good selling and be coachable! - CQ

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