The Lessons Leading Me into 2023

Watch the zipline video, here.

Last year was yet another wild zipline ride of highs (This is amaaazing!) and lows (I think I'm going to fall!) for the world. Being able to hug loved ones without a mask. The war in Ukraine. Working remote/hybrid because we can finally prioritize our lives. Walking out of Whole Foods with a gallon of milk and bread for $100. Realizing remote/hybrid is damn hard to manage at the same time. Being able to say I can do this — or I won’t — with the Great Resignation, Great Reshuffle and quiet quitting.

Given what I've learned over the last three years, I've been operating in a different way…with a series of saying hell yessses to things I normally wouldn't, befriending my shadows and blind spots and letting shit go while I test new seeds to nurture my greenhouse.

Like the kiddo on the zipline, I think we’ve all had moments of what the what?!, oooohs, aaaahs, and ahas. Here’s to taking the best of them forward, with more wisdom in place.

The 11 Lessons Leading Me into 2023:

1. Mental health real talk is here to stay. One of the shiniest silver linings of the pandemic is that we can now talk about mental health more openly in work/life. It’s ok to be dark if that’s what we’re feeling. Covid, social injustices, and the fragile economy forced us to lift the hood to expose what was already underneath. But by being able to name what’s affecting us emotionally, mentally, and physically, we’ve cracked open the door to being more real about how we can help ourselves and each other.
2. A beginner's mindset never gets old. Whenever I am at a crossroads of a decision that feels uncomfortable or scary, I lean into my values. Although the unknown may not feel any less scary, my values are what help keep me grounded. Instead of being stuck in the past or stressed about the future, I become present in my decision. I’ve learned that when I am present, it’s easier to strip away assumptions and be at peace with the outcome.
3. Celebrate the lows (and highs) together. Last year, I spoke to my shadows with real-talk. I invited things that made me sad and angry into my living room instead of letting them sit outside. Getting real with loss helped me hug my dad for the first time since he passed 19 years ago. Embracing our highs and lows doesn’t make us happy every minute of the day but that’s not the goal to begin with. Days were more real and fulfilling, since we never know when our turn on the zipline will be our last.
4. Invest in self-care and self-luv as if it's a fund that keeps growing. Every day. I used to be able to GSD (Get Shit Done) without tending to what’s really going on inside (physically/mentally/emotionally). It was easier to be a machine than an emotional hairball. And hairballs are one of my biggest pet peeves. Listening to my whole self has made me realize the true value of self-care/self-luv, every day.?
5. Retire some relationships, reinvest into others. Being real with my whole self has been a healthier habit for relationships too. I respectfully made space away from unhealthy ones and I reinvested in those that mean the most. I’ve randomly reached out to let peeps know I’m thinking about them and how much they mean to me. Even my mom noticed the changes — someone I luv and tests my inner peace telling me I need more skin cream every time I see her — said “Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.”
6. Reflect. Intentional time to reflect on the day/week/month (and now year) has given me the space to truly absorb all that a beginners' mindset keeps discovering. Jotting it down in a journal or sharing it with trusted ones has helped me see what’s limiting and stifling, or progressing and growing.
7. Reintergrate [*a biggie*]. Reflection only goes so far if we don’t reintegrate into our daily habits and lives. After reflecting, I ask myself what I’m feeling/thinking, if it’s helping my greenhouse grow, and how I can make this a more regular part of my days. It becomes a new “real talk reground.” Once it’s reintegrated, it becomes a seed I keep tending to.
8. Practice curiosity without critique. Growing greenhouses is a practice and takes a lifelong of testing to see what conditions lead to deeper personal growth. Like many of yall, I’m my worst critic, but it’s made a difference to intentionally quiet those voices down. (Yah, that’s how bad it can get…a chorus of critical voices not singing praises, all at the same time.) Progress happens when I let go of perfection and became more real and present…to myself and everybody in my ecosystem.?
9. Life’s disasters get gnarly. All these thingskeep me rooted. We have a lot to learn from nature and sequoias keep standing for a reason. They’re the tallest trees in the world, yet have the shortest root structures. It’s because they have strength in their DNA and they’re interconnected with others around them.?
10. Death is a part of life. We can live (opti-realistically) like we're dying. If you’ve followed my storyline so far, you know how much death has been such a huge part of my life. My buddy Travis with a brain tumor in high school, my dad with cancer 19 years ago and Tony to cap off a horrendous 2020. This year has been a more peaceful one to both sides of the life/death equation. Embracing grief and loss convinced me more than ever — we’re all living and dying at the same time and there’s beauty to be found in the process of both.
11. Don’t worry about leaving a legacy. Just live it. Sometimes people get obsessed about their legacy. Maybe that’s why people with extreme wealth get riled up because when they sit still for a moment, there’s a quiet of emptiness that more money, power and hopes there are people they can still trust won’t ever be fulfilled. It might also be why people that can’t meet daily living wages feel they have nothing to show for, because they can’t provide for the people they love. No matter our life’s situation, the only thing we can do is actively live the legacy we want to leave. We can all do great things, but it’s when we live out our life’s profound lessons in the forms of compassion, empathy, authenticity and love…that’s when we’re truly living. Easier said than done, but my everyday, out-of-the-headlines heroes are doing just that.

Believe it or not, this is the short version of my reflections of The Roaring 22 and it still comes down to this. The non-irony of it all is that we’re all humans wanting to be heard, understood and loved. This doesn’t excuse the massive socio/eco/political differences we have in the world. And it definitely doesn’t excuse those that are manipulating it in ways that show people are clearly too out of touch with their impact on others and too in touch with their ego (looking at you Elon, SBF, Holmes, Neumann and everyone you feel like naming).

But I do know this…there is a place that we can build. Where we can real talk and address the injustices of the world by coming from a common ground. For the most challenged in us — the frontliner juggling multiple jobs and barely making it, the middle manager forced to wear a million hats or get fired, or the boomer that worked their ass off their whole life only to wonder what it was all for —?we can make a space where we can all connect without assumptions of the past because we recognize the way we’ve been working/living just ain’t gonna work anymore.?

Today, we’re more ready to answer both questions at the same time: what’s in it for me and what’s in it for all? There’s a hopeful place of starting anew, not because it’s a new year but because we can be anew within ourselves.

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-jenn