Lessons on Leading by Love and Fear, According to GOTs Daenerys Targaryen

Being a Game of Thrones (GOT) fan, though the topic doesn't feel very "business-like," there are still some strong moments of development where characters show their leadership, whether they lead by love or fear.

By now you should have finished watching the final season of GOT or started binge-watching the entire show from start to finish, and if you haven't, then you will probably have no idea what I'm talking about. That's not true, I've summarized a relevant character plot to make this article universal enough that anyone can understand it. Let's go through leading by love and leading by fear 'Game of Thrones style' with a fan-favorite character Daenerys Targaryen and summarizing her story where she led by love and then led by fear.

** Note - Spoilers ahead! **

Leading by Love

Story: Daenerys' character is seen as polite, well-spoken, and filled with determination to make the world a better place. She starts with nothing and begins her journey in the series forced to marry the leader of the Dothraki feeling like she has no control or say over her life. With the struggles she faces at the beginning of the series, Daenerys displays characteristics of great empathy and is deeply sympathetic to those she perceived as being oppressed. After her Dothraki husband dies, Daenerys eventually mothers three dragons and is quick to pursue her path and becomes the leader of the Dothraki army who willingly follow her. Throughout the series, she earns respect, grows an even more massive army, becomes loved by her loyal followers who are also willing to fight for her and advise her in any way possible. Daenerys manages to win the hearts of many and earns much of her love and respect after she banishes the use of chains and promises her followers freedom. Daenerys believes that she is the one who can and will make the world a better place. 

When Daenerys led by love, she was graced with many loyal characters by her side who would do anything to help her reach her end goal of sitting on the Iron Throne.

What happened when she led by love?

1. Daenerys' people believed her cause was an important one

The people who chose to follow her believed in what she stood for and therefore, her advisors became close and trustworthy associates who would help her strategize to reach her end goal and ultimately be their queen.

2. Daenerys' people were loyal and were willing to do more for her

Her people were willing to go that extra mile for her, whether to keep her protected and safe, gather information, or perform tasks to show their loyalty. As an example, the Dothraki horde went out of their comfort zone and traveled by ships over the seas when none of them had been over water in the past. Many were willing to leave their homes for Daenerys and go above and beyond to be by her side.

3. Daenerys' people loved, respected, and stood by her

Her advisors and army believed in her and wanted to help her succeed. With the love, respect, and trust she gained from the people who joined her, Daenerys was able to achieve greatness.

Leading by Fear

Story: As Daenerys' character progresses, she becomes obsessed with power and ruling, chooses to punish those who do not obey or follow her and uses her dragons as weapons to take what she believes is hers. 

When she goes to Westeros, her irrational and volatile personality and her actions of punishment leads to people not trusting her or thinking she would be the best person for the Iron Throne, but instead another character, Jon Snow, who would choose compassion over fear. Jon doesn't want the throne and pledges himself to Daenerys saying she can have it and she is his queen, but the people in Westeros believe in Jon for his actions of nobility and compassion. Some of Daenerys' followers still loved and believed in her, but began second-guessing her motives and felt uneasy around her hoping they could rationalize with her. 

As season 8 came to an end, Daenerys wanted the Iron Throne and would take it in any way she could. "I don't have love here, I only have fear" she exclaims while making her decision to lead with fear and go all mad queen, torching King's Landing leaving it destroyed, in ashes, and many murdered.

"I don't have love here, I only have fear"

In the end, she gets the Iron Throne for a short time before her betrayal causes enough fear where she loses the respect and support of those who loved her and believed in her.

When she led by fear, she had characters unable to trust her because of not knowing what she might do next. They were warmer towards someone they could trust who didn't obsess over power but would have the best interest of others over themselves.

What happened when she led by fear?

1. Daenerys lost the trust of her people

Daenerys' advisors no longer trusted her or her cause and as a result, no longer felt safe following her. They wanted someone else to be their ruler.

2. Daenerys lost the support of her most trusted people

Daenerys' hand (hand-of-the-queen) Tyrion, stepped down as her right-hand person despite knowing the potential consequences as he could not stand beside someone who he feared and who acted immorally. 

3. Daenerys' people were more likely to work against her to overthrow her leadership

Daenerys' people began talking behind her back, strategizing against her and were no longer working towards her vision. Several went behind Daenerys' back to try to sabotage her from becoming the queen and spoke of rumors that she was in fact, not the rightful heir.

So, how can we use Daenerys' leadership lessons in our own careers? 

These lessons tie back into our lives when we have to work with leaders who either lead by love or by fear. We respond more positively to empathetic leaders and are likely to work harder, perform better, and show more passion towards what we are working on. We feel safe and are less likely to leave a company if our leaders are caring just as Daenerys' advisors and army chose to follow her when she showed compassion and empathy. Whereas, if we feel threatened by our leaders, we struggle to think clearly and perform well, we question our job security and are not likely to trust their decisions. Being led by fear causes us to be more likely to abandon ship and choose not to follow just as Daenerys' advisors began to change their minds about having her be their queen when she led by fear and they leaned towards another leader like Jon Snow who was caring and compassionate.

As a leader, are you leading by love or fear? How do you want your employees or fellow co-workers to view you?