Lessons I've Learned: Absolute Control Is An Illusion

Regardless of where you sit right now, everything in your line of vision is temporary. We all come into the world with an established date of physical origin and a pending date of physical expiration. Even the wealthiest men and the greatest minds among us go the way of the wanderer in those two regards.

And that’s liberating to me, in large part due to the fact that my natural tendency in even the best times is to attempt to control things that are not of my domain.

It’s in the hard-wiring. I can suppress it, but the dragon lurks underneath.

Here are three things I know:

I. Absolute control over anything is an illusion, and the more we attempt to take into our hands, particularly in times of difficulty and stress, the less likely we are to be at peace and, odds are, the less likely we are to perform at our highest levels. [There’s a reason strong leaders surround themselves with trustworthy people who possess skill sets in areas which they do not.]

II. In relation to I., the happiest people I know are those who understand/accept how little control they actually have over the grander picture and thus revel/excel in managing the portions they do “own” to the best of their abilities. They don’t meddle much in areas where they don’t belong, and they don't dwell much on their perceptions of how others are handling tasks that don't intersect much with their own realms of influence and circumstance.

III. In relation to both the preface and points I. and II., knowing – and willingly facing – our mortal nature brings perspective to almost every detail of our journey, from how we view our accomplishments to our relationships to our faith to our general understandings of the world that revolves around us. It guides us toward that which is most important to us, and to the understandings that our lives are both precious and trivial in the grand scheme of things – a paradox of understanding if I’ve ever seen one, but both statements are equally true in my eyes.  Your life, while important, and your movements, while necessary, will likely not be felt in a hundred years.  [You can't break much, in other words.  In a sense, it's up to us as individuals and a collective to build the reality we wish to reside in in that regard.]

My goal today – and every day, really – is to wake up with purpose and a full cup and to pour myself into parts of the world that I find important on a regular basis in such a fashion that I can go to bed each night with a sense that my day’s work has been done and that tomorrow brings opportunity for me to pour myself out yet again.

Having that as an established guiding principle in areas of my life ranging from pursuing my faith to my relationships with my wife, my loved ones, my coworkers, and others necessary to my own existence extending into my interactions with the world around me both serves an anchor and strengthens my compass.

End of the day, control what you can, but know that from President to pauper, your lines of actual control are minimal in scope to what you may perceive them to be.  The rest of the aspects involving our performance and contentment lie solely in how we respond to the circumstances around us.

Whether in business or life in general, know your hand, manage it well, and leave the rest to be operated by those responsible for their portion.