Lessons from Sucking at Yoga

I tried yoga once and to be honest, I found it excruciatingly painful. Whether it was due to my dormant muscles, a crooked mountain pose, or because I may accidentally have enrolled in the advanced class, I’ll never know. That time I also realized that my ability to meditate is non-existent. I can clear my mind and concentrate on my breathing, but only for about one nanosecond. Afterward, my brain starts to draft emails, go over my “to do” list, and roleplay potential conversations. To say I regret my brief story as a yogi would be an understatement, especially given how much I've missed out on. Yoga, according to The Johns Hopkins University, improves our strength, balance, and flexibility, it also helps us eat healthier and lose weight, and it enhances our quality of sleep. Stress reduction, mental health, and mindfulness are also promoted as a result of its practice. Likewise, yoga improves self-care, increases attentiveness, and reduces feelings of isolation. In sum, it can help us lead a more balanced lifestyle.

But, exactly, what does it mean to live a life that is well-balanced? The physical, mental, and emotional aspects of health outlined above are only part of the equation for many people. Work, money, family and friends, personal development, and spirituality are all important aspects of a balanced life as well. Furthermore, an increasing number of individuals would add the environment to the list, as aiding the world can provide a sense of success and well-being in our own lives. Living a balanced life does not have a single "one-size-fits-all" definition. Each of us must decide what’s most important to us and, as a result, how we want to spend our time and energy.

Now, while we ponder about this, I think it's a good idea to go over some of the most common misunderstandings about maintaining a balanced life. To begin with, we've come to assume that finding balance is something we can do once and for all. However, we are mistaken. A balanced life is rather something we continually do. Balance, in other words, is a verb, not a noun. Because everything is in constant motion, it is illogical to suppose that once the scale is stable, it would remain that way indefinitely. If we don't comprehend the dynamic nature of living in balance, we'll find that the more we try to achieve a static aim, the more things fall apart.

We also tend to believe that living a balanced life is the result of allocating an equal amount of time and energy to both sides of a scale in order to maintain it stable. We don't always reach equilibrium in this manner because some priorities are more important than others. It's fine if we need to spend more time and resources on one topic over another only to reverse our decision later.

A third big life balance misconception is that work and family are natural enemies. This is especially true for working parents (Pew Research finds that more than half of those with children under 18 struggle to find balance). The stereotype of the businesswoman or man with great financial success but poor relationships is so widely spread that it is difficult to entertain the idea that this might not always be true. Roger and Rebecca Merrill show in Life Matters that work and family are complementary components of a complete life view that links families in love, contribution, and victory in the struggle to survive. A genuine life balance requires creating synergy – not a chasm – between these two elements. To do so, we should involve our families in our work. Tell them what we do and why. Let them see how we do it. Explain how they and others benefit from what we do. Share positive work experiences. Involve our family in work projects.

Understanding that, aside from work and family, there are other components that complement each other is crucial. In her book Work-Life Brilliance, Denise Green highlights four dimensions that must work together, or be integrated, to attain life balance. First, there's the brain and the mind. We know our inner environment is balanced when we feel relaxed, thankful, and emotionally flowing. Hobbies, meditation, and spirituality can help us achieve this. Second, there's the body and behaviors. Staying healthy and free of addictions allows us to feel strong, motivated, and productive. Third, there are interpersonal interactions to consider. This feature is incorporated when we have good contacts based on trust, love, and empathy. Finally, there are relationships with things. We maximize our potential when we reduce clutter, enjoy financial stability, and appropriately use technology to achieve our goals and connect with others.

Once we have ingrained the concept of integration in our lives, it will be time to design our legacy to ensure that we work toward our own idea of balance. Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy's book Living Forward encourages us to fast-forward to the end of our lives and ask ourselves, "How do I want to be remembered the day I’m gone?" They point out that the only thing we will genuinely leave behind is memories, and that the appropriate recollections can only be produced by living in balance. The priorities we establish will need the creation of a life plan, a brief written document prepared by and for us that lays out the procedures necessary to get us from where we are to where we want to be in every key area of our lives. This is, above all, a living document that we will continue to amend and adjust as needed for the rest of our lives. Why? Because it’s natural to anticipate some drifting from our side whenever we get distracted or overwhelmed.

Tackling the myths about living in balance, practicing whole-life integration, and implementing our life plan will all be for nothing if we can't keep on track. To do this, we must be able to say no when others' wishes conflict with our own. According to the Harvard Business Review, there is a three-part framework for learning when and how to say no and yes. Assess the request first. Ask questions and take notes to ensure we fully comprehend the request's costs and benefits. We may discover that little requests might easily become large ones. Second, give a thoughtful no. A considerate no delivered at the right time can save everyone time and hassle. Things that are not allowed, cannot be done, or should not be done must be refused. And third, say yes to something that will result in success. A good yes builds value, relationships, and reputation. It aligns with our beliefs and priorities. It enables us to put our time, energy, and resources into something that has a high chance of delivering significant potential benefits.

For over 5,000 years, yoga has been the go-to discipline for millions of people seeking balance in their lives. This just goes to show how tough it is to keep the scales in the right place. But a few times a week of holding a pose, breathing deeply, and practicing mindfulness can only get us so far. We must cultivate a balanced mindset every day of our life, here and now, starting with the minor things and gradually rising to more complex and strategic issues. Bellur Krishnamachar Sundararaja Iyengar, one of the foremost yoga gurus in the world, once said: “If you balance in the present, you are living in eternity.”

Author: Esteban Polidura, CFA. March 12, 2022.