Lessons from Running on the Unbreakable Path by Darius Siwek forwarded by Thom Shea

I have had the honor to pass on valuable lessons to many hundreds of people both through keynote presentations, one on one clients, and now online through the Unbreakable Lessons.

I am happy to share in a public forum the value on apply the Unbreakable Lessons in life. Below is Darius Siwek and how he is leading an Unbreakable Life.

As a high school junior, I quit Cross Country after only one week on the team. My reasons for quitting felt legitimate. That’s because “reasons” always do.

But what would have happened if I didn’t quit?

Twenty-four years later, and after completing the first two Unbreakable Lessons, I finished my first marathon and first ultramarathon (50 km) in the same week.

Did the Lessons finally unlock what was Unbreakable in me? Here are four key insights from that memorable week.

1. Use Fear to Set Goals

Pick a goal that you think is doable. Now press on it: an 8-mile run seems doable to you, but what if you ran 26 miles? Your Internal Dialogue will rumble with uncertainty. Did you commit to the goal? Here’s how you know if you did: check your pulse (I’m not joking), because when you visualize yourself performing something impossible and you’re serious about doing it, your heart rate will go up.

Make this your goal. If you aren’t sure you can do it, that’s the goal to chase.

That feeling of being scared? It will happen more than once on your journey, but thanks to having completed Unbreakable Lesson Two, you can recognize fear and press onward in spite of it. And thanks to having completed Lesson One, if you honor your word and don’t quit on a goal you feel uncertain about, a major breakthrough will surely be in your future.

2. “Training” Versus “Competing”: Choosing the Right Words is Crucial

The study of language and its effects on human performance became interesting to me after encountering the work of Thom Shea. What I found to be true for me is that word choice can make a big difference in outcomes.

During training runs for the marathon, I maintained a steady pace where I never felt my heart rate go too high. I told myself, “I’m just trying to finish the race; I’m not competing in it.”

Why did I say that?

Well, I took a closer look at the word “competing” and realized it triggered some ideas in me that kept me from pushing my pace in training. I had some negative associations with the idea of competition and how I was supposed to participate in that activity.

How did I overcome that? Simple: I redefined the word so that it worked for me, not against me. Once I removed that barrier, I felt free to push harder in “training.”

3. Use Black-and-White Thinking as an Assessment Tool

Most of you are familiar with the set-up to Unbreakable Lesson One: execute a set number of push-ups, sit-ups, and squats for three weeks. It took me an astonishing seventy days to finish the job.

One insight from Lesson One that I applied to the races was recognizing the importance of measured goals. A measured goal can’t lie to you: you either did ten push-ups, ten sit-ups, and ten squats, or you didn’t. Let’s call this way of looking at follow-through “Black-and-White” Thinking.

Compare this with Grey-Area Thinking. The grey area has a valid purpose, because creativity and unexpected connections live here, but spend your time strategically in this realm: Grey-Area Thinking is home to indecision and inaction. Your mind can trick you into thinking you achieved more than you really did.

Use Black-and-White Thinking to get clarity and raise the standard on how well you’re following through. Use it to forge an attitude of “I either finished the job, or I didn’t.” In the end, you either cross the finish line, or you don’t.

4. New Barriers Can Produce Believable Reasons to Quit

One of the mantras I developed to overcome obstacles during both races was to tell myself, “I’ve been here before.” It’s a trick of the mind constructed through language so that no obstacle is ever too imposing.

What happens when you encounter a new barrier that seems unlike anything you’ve encountered before?

During training, after completing my first and only twenty-mile practice run, I experienced tendonitis in my left knee for the first time. When I felt the pain, I told myself to stop running. I started to think I was injured and that maybe running twenty-six miles on a bad knee was a terrible idea.

It took me a day to realize that I had labeled myself “injured.” I had forged an identity based on what my senses were telling me. A new barrier can produce convincing Internal Dialogue that makes you want to quit very easily.

The solution was to start over: re-examine what qualified as finishing the job and redesign the way to get it done. Once I realized that my Internal Dialogue was conspiring against me, I said, “I can walk this marathon if I have to. I can take breaks, but I will finish it.” Then I bought new shoes with more cushion to handle the concrete. I ended up running my first marathon in over five hours because the injury was simple inflammation that went away.

Now that I’ve experienced pain in my knee, I can claim to have been here, too.

Further Down the Path

Completing the first two Unbreakable Lessons has resulted in a new level of awareness in my capabilities, but I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I can do.

What is Unbreakable in me? The answers I found that week only lead me back to the beginning, to the same question which inspires the search for more answers. It’s a search that began when I quit twenty-four short years ago.

What is Unbreakable in me? What is Unbreakable in you?

To find out, honor your word to yourself, and don’t quit on yourself.

The possibilities are endless. You can always find one more step in you.

Keep going.