Lessons From The Obstacle Is The Way: Part III (Will)

Over the last two weeks, I shared lessons from Part I and Part II of The Obstacle is the Way and today, we wrap up this series with my final takeaways from Part III, focused on Will.

The Discipline of the Will

• We can choose to find greater purpose in suffering and handle it with firmness and forbearance (as Abraham Lincoln did with his crippling depression and channelling his empathy for the suffering of slaves to move for abolition and win the Civil War).
• We do well from being prepared for the worst and prepared to make the best of the worst.
• Leadership requires determination and energy; Lincoln was able to lead a nation, a cause, and an effort because he had managed to survive his personal tragedies and life pains.
• The Will is the final discipline; if Perception and Action are disciplines of the mind and body, The Will is the discipline of the heart and soul. Will is fortitude and wisdom — it gives us ultimate strength to endure, contextualize, and derive meaning from obstacles we cannot simply overcome.
• ‘This too shall pass’ — one of Lincoln’s beloved sayings.
• Personal Application: I am viewing the suffering moments in my life as intentional and divine, not wasteful. I am also resting in the truth that all things shall pass so anything hurting me now will eventually stop hurting. I am also incorporating the pain and lessons from suffering into my bold leadership style —purposeful, compassionate, coach-like, firm yet vulnerable.

Build Your Inner Citadel

• Our inner citadel is the fortress inside of us that no external adversity can ever break down.
• Theodore Roosevelt was born physically weak with terrible asthma however after his father built a gym in their home, he spent five years working out and building muscle/resilience — which helped prepare him for all adversity that came his way in life.
• No one is born a gladiator. No one is born with an inner citadel. These must be built and cultivated by us, for us.
• The path of least resistance is a terrible teacher. If we choose to live, we can’t afford to shy away from things that intimidate us (e.g. being alone, battles, challenges, uncertainty, pressure) because they MUST happen so instead, we can prepare our minds/bodies for when fortune shifts…because it always does.
• Personal Application: i. Mental toughness practices — personal mantras of self-worth and purpose, feeding my mind with words from articles, books, and podcasts that promote self-acceptance, gratitude, love, and challenging perspectives ii. Physical toughness practices — I implore your prayers; there is nothing about the gym or working out that excites me. It seems my village people have blinded me to the beauty of exercise…pray for my deliverance.

Anticipation; Thinking Negatively

• ‘Offer a guarantee and disaster threatens.’ — ancient inscription at the Oracle of Delphi.
• Premortems (anticipating what can go wrong or is likely to go wrong in advance of starting a project or initiative) are as important as postmortems. As a result of a premortem mindset, ‘Nothing happens to the wise man beyond his expectation.’ — Seneca.
• ‘If you’re not humble, life will visit humbleness upon you.’ — Mike Tyson regarding the loss of his fortune and fame. The only guarantee, ever, is that sometimes things will go wrong; the only thing we can do to mitigate this is anticipation.
• ‘What If…Then I Will…What If…Instead I’ll Just…’
• As a result of anticipation, we understand the range of potential outcomes and we can accommodate ourselves to any of them. The worst thing that can happen is not something going wrong, it is something going wrong and catching us by surprise.
• With anticipation, we can endure. We are prepared for failure and ready for success.
• Personal Application: incorporate premortems (a.k.a. risk management) in every project or initiative I take on, personally (e.g. relationships) and professionally (e.g. a new work project).

The Art of Acquiescence

• “The Fates guides the person who accepts them and hinders the one who resists them.”— Cleanthes.
• Thomas Jefferson accepted he was a poor orator and channelled his energy into becoming a great writer and politician. He ended up being the one chosen to write the Declaration of Independence. Accept what is — C’est la vie. It is fine.
• We can choose to be humble and flexible to acknowledge that what will happen, will happen.
• “Nature, in order to be commanded, must be obeyed.” — Francis Bacon.
• Personal Application: Personal SWOT analysis — of my strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. Based on that, work on aligning with opportunities that maximize my strengths (e.g. project design and strategy, capacity building of teams, knowledge management, relationship management, storytelling/writing, devouring sweet food:) and find people to partner with that have strengths in areas I am weak (e.g. programming).

Love Everything That Happens; Amor Fati

• To do great things, we need to be able to endure tragedy and setback. Mantra for all situations (good and especially bad): ‘I feel great about this because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.’
• Opportunities and benefits lie within adversity. In overcoming adversity, we emerge stronger, sharper, empowered, and more confident. We can choose to love adversity because it’s fuel and we need fuel — we can’t go anywhere without it.
• This does not mean good will always outweigh bad or that adversity comes free and without cost; it means there is always some good contained within the bad.
• Personal Application: mindset shift and continuous recitation of the mantra above — ‘I feel great about this because if it happened, then it was meant to happen, and I am glad that it did when it did. I am meant to make the best of it.’

Perseverance

• Persistence is an action; perseverance is a matter of will. One is energy. The other, endurance.
• The true threat to determination is not what happens to us, but us ourselves.
• Why would you be your own worst enemy? Hold on and hold steady; win by sticking your ass to the seat and do not leave until after ‘it’ is over.
• Personal Application: I implore you again to pray for deliverance from my village people who don’t want me to see the joy in working out. Let me also build endurance through working out…sigh.

Something Bigger Than Yourself

• ’Unity over Self’ is the way to win — we’re in this together.
• We can choose to stop making situations harder on ourselves by always thinking I, I, I. I did this. I was so smart. I had that. I deserve better than this. It will cause us to take losses personally and make us feel so alone; we’ve inflated our own role and importance. The antidote? Be in service to others: we can choose to help ourselves by helping others.
• We can also choose to stop pretending that what we’re going through is somehow special or unfair — it’s not; each person has their shit to deal with. We can choose to embrace the power of being part of a larger whole.
• We can lend a hand to others. We can choose to be strong for them, and it will make us stronger for ourselves.
• Personal Application: I have to stop taking shit personally (easier said than done…will keep working at it).

Meditate on Your Mortality

• Death doesn’t make life pointless; it makes it purposeful. Memento mori- remember you are mortal.
• Thinking about and being aware of our own mortality creates real perspective and allows us to treat our time on earth as a gift.
• Death is an equaliser and the most universal of our obstacles.
• If our own mortality can have some benefit, it’s not true to say we can’t derive value from each and every obstacle we encounter.
• Personal Application: Continue meditating on my mortality (already do this) and allow it to inspire me to do for others (impact) through my creativity, work, influence, and words.

Prepare To Start Again

• There is no end to obstacles; just when we’ve successfully navigated through one, another emerges around the corner. That’s what keeps life interesting and that’s what creates opportunities.
• Each time we’ll learn something; each time we’ll develop strength, wisdom, and perspective; each time a little more of the competition falls away until all that is left is the best version of ourselves.
• Life is a marathon, not a sprint; we’d do well to conserve our energy. We’d do well to understand that each battle is only one of many and use one to make the next one easier, and keep them all in real perspective.
• We can choose not to be rattled or frantic; as obstacles arise, we can choose to hustle and act with creativity. We can choose to be no longer afraid but be cheerful, excited, and eagerly anticipate the next round.
• Personal Application: Anticipate obstacles around every corner. Conduct premorterms as much as possible. Pick my battles based on potential outcomes desired; not every battle is worth my time or energy.

Final Thoughts

• We can choose to see things for what they are (use the Observing eye). We can choose to do what we can, endure, and bear what we must in order to live and thrive.
• What blocked the path now is a path. What once impeded action advances action. The Obstacle is the Way.
• Personal Application: Daily mantra — ’the Obstacle is the Way’.

And now we’ve come to the end of this series. I hope you’ve enjoyed it and took away key points that will resonate with you for the better.

Until the next article…a bientot :)