Lessons from My Year of DEI Work

Find out how even after an entire year of DEI work I failed miserably in one awkward, uncomfortable situation.

There are differences that make a difference and similarities that are significant.

But we focus so much on differences.

It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective.

That big ol’ saber-tooth tiger running at you?? You’re not going to stop and chat.

Focusing on differences leads to bias though.

Bias is a tricky thing.

To be 100% unbiased is impossible.

This makes sense as we have 11 million pieces of information coming at us …. per second!? And we can only process 40 (The Leader’s Guide to Unconscious Bias).

Bias is normal.

BUT it’s what we do with that bias that’s big.

I spent a year digging into different DEI (diversity, equity, and inclusion) topics - from race, aging, neurodiversity, and mental health to unconscious bias, Indigenous, LGBTQI, and disability issues.

You can see part one and part two here, where I describe what I did for each month’s focus.

Now I’m reflecting on what I learned from a year of DEI work.

Here are ten tough things I learned, relearned, and unlearned:

1. White supremacy

• I used to have a visceral reaction to the words “white supremacy.”? I thought that term only applied to the KKK - maniacal men wearing white hoods who tortured black people. A.K.A. certainly not me.
• But I’ve come to realize the key is in the words.?
• For example: As a white person growing up in North America bias was baked into me that white people are supreme. From the colour of so-called “flesh” coloured crayons to who I saw leading our country, white people had power and privilege.? (And still do.)
• It’s not pretty, and it’s not easy to acknowledge, but it’s true.? White supremacy applies to me and my unconscious bias.
• I’m continuing to learn about admitting, and acknowledging my privilege and taking action to build a better, more equitable world.

2. The work is enlightening annnnnd uncomfortable

• It’s easy to focus on learning that is fun, engaging, and easy.??
• It’s hella harder to focus on learning that is uncomfortable and makes your stomach squirm.
• This is that kind of work.? But that doesn’t give me (or you) an excuse to stop doing the work.

3. Hot coffee

• I’m reading Ellen Langer’s book, The Mindful Body where she talks about an experiment where people holding hot coffee describe others as more warm.? People holding cool drinks are more apt to describe others as more standoffish.?
• The lesson?? We are influenced by so many things that we are unaware of.
• I’m more conscious about surrounding myself with hot coffee a.k.a. folks who challenge my world views, have different passport countries, different cultures, etc.
• Example: I convene several groups, including a Dancing Queens group where I gather diverse women monthly to, you guessed it, hit the dance floor, socialize, and support each other.??

4. Mindfulness makes a difference

• In the same book, Ellen talks about studies where simply being mindful (a.k.a. actively noticing things) can reduce racial bias by 50%
• It’s not enough to surround myself with hot coffee a.k.a. people who are different from me, I need to be mindful all the time
• Example: I’ve learned a lot from some gay friends who live in Kenya, where “Expressions of homosexuality are illegal under Kenyan statutes and carry a maximum penalty of 14 years' imprisonment, or 21 years under certain aggravating circumstances” (Wikipedia).? When some things were stolen from their home, they didn’t feel safe reporting to the police, partly because their house staff knew of their sexuality and they were therefore vulnerable.? As a heterosexual woman, this is not a concern I have to contend with.

5. Continuums are it

• I’m a HUGE fan of continuums.? My Life Lenses? assessment is based on continuums.??
• We can discover whole new worlds when we get away from non-continuum thinking such as black/white, yes/no, and hot/cold.
• Embracing a more graduated view of the world is kinder and full of more possibilities and innovation.
• When I find myself snapping into a sharp perspective (yes/no kind of thing) I try to step back and look at the situation on a continuum
• Example: my temper flared during a typical Nairobi traffic snarl-up the other day.? Once I calmed down I tried to think of different scenarios the driver who’d caused the snarl-up could have been facing (instead of my initial black-and-white thinking - what an i#diot!).?

6. Familiarity is comforting and that’s an issue

• I get it. We’ve all have a million different things to do.? Our plates are spinning and overflowing.
• Annnnd that can lead to the same ol’ same ol.
• Familiarity is comfortable.
• And it’s a trap.
• I need to continue stepping out of my comfort zone and into unfamiliar thinking, learning, situations, perspectives, etc.
• Example: in my work with UN staff who are from all over the world, I’m continuously looking for ways to include and not inadvertently exclude.

7. You can’t take power out of DEI work

• Power and DEI are intrinsically linked.? Those with the privilege have the power.
• To think DEI-focused work is an academic exercise with no real-world consequences is naive.
• In addition to my privilege, I need to examine the power I have (and don’t have, based on what facet of myself I’m looking at) and what implications this has.
• Example: when I’m working with the UN in the highly secure Mogadishu, Somalia base, in my comings and goings I notice that local staff are not allowed to bring their phones onto the base as they can be used to direct explosives.? What must that be like for local staff to have that hanging over their heads and be without their phones while on base??
• Note: I’m no security expert and I’m not advocating for the use or not of phones, rather I'm looking at the situation through a DEI and power lens.

8. Power gives us the illusion of control and helps manage uncertainty

• Power is seductive. It gives us the illusion of control (says Ellen in the book above).?
• And having the illusion of control helps us manage uncertainty.
• Stepping out of power and into uncertainty gives a whole new perspective.? And that’s a good thing.
• Example: did you know you can measure your tolerance for uncertainty?? I’m working on increasing mine.

9. Bias leads to judgment and judgment means being blind to better ways

• Realizing when I’m making a judgment helps me to uncover new ways of moving forward, it helps me uncover assumptions I’m making and that’s always a good thing.
• Example: back to the snarled traffic, I made a conscious effort to think of what the driver might be going through, which then helped to reduce my judgment.?

10. It’s a journey

• 2024 was yet another tough year on the global stage and in many, many local communities.??
• Knowing that DEI is a journey, not a destination is both a big responsibility and a relief that I can keep at it.
• Keep on keeping on everyone!
• Example: towards the end of last year I was at a friend’s party, who made some extremely derogatory remarks about people with physical disabilities.? I’m SO disappointed in myself that I didn’t speak up.? I was stunned into silence.? I felt awkward and extremely uncomfortable.??
• There’s so much more to learn and so many more ways to take action.? I’m going to keep at it.? Will you join me?

Now go on and learn, laugh, and lead

Learn

• What tugs on your attention when it comes to DEI work from the lessons above?? Pick one or two and see if you can apply the lessons.

Laugh?

• Rock, paper, and scissors can play well together.? Here’s proof.

Lead

• Dig in and make a DEI plan for yourself for 2025.? Feel free to use my posts for inspiration. Remember you can see part one and part two here, where I describe what I did for the focus of each month.

P.S.

• Have you reserved your spot for this week’s Learning and Development Roundtable on how to have those difficult conversations you’re dreading?? RSVP here now.

P.P. S.

• Are you interested in brushing up on your public speaking skills? Check out the Effective Public Speaking course I’m giving March 19 and 20th for UN staff (and if you’re not a UN staff but you’re interested, simply reach out. Let’s talk!).