Lessons from my Tío Jaime’s passing

People often recall unforgettable moments at concerts, trips, or shows. Last week, I experienced something more profound: I was with my Tio Jaime during his final hours. The opportunity to witness his peaceful passing is something I will carry with me until my final days.

In this post, I’d like to share the internal process and insights I gained during this experience, in the hope that they might be useful to others facing similar moments.

From confusion to clarity

It was a Sunday morning when I received a voice message from my cousin, Jimmy. He told me that his father, my Tio Jaime, was nearing the end of his battle with pancreatic cancer. The final day had come. I was in Los Angeles, and Tio Jaime was in Wakefield, Rhode Island—miles away.

As I listened to Jimmy’s message, I felt a wave of confusion and helplessness. I decided to sit and meditate, and the message that surfaced was simple yet profound: “Just show up.” Within four hours, I was on a flight to Rhode Island.

Just show up!

When a loved one is nearing the end, it’s natural to feel overwhelmed and unsure of what to do.

My advice: Trust your instincts. Sometimes, just showing up is enough.

It took about 12 hours to reach my Tío’s house. As soon as I arrived, I was enveloped by the love of my uncle's family. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be—not to fix anything, not to be a hero, but simply to be present for them.

Fortunately, when I arrived, my Tío Jaime was still alive. He greeted me with a warm hug and expressed his happiness and gratitude for my presence. Despite his illness, he was lucid and asked me about my life, my personal struggles, and my health.

Be open to conversations about death

Despite his illness, my Tío Jaime was clear-minded and willing to talk about death. It gave us both a sense of closure and connection.?

He told me: “Life is like a theater. Picture yourself as part of the audience. Visualize the show you’d like to see, and the curtain will gradually open to reveal acts that will bring you closer to the life you want.”

Appreciate the family and relationships you already have

When I expressed my desire to have a family, he said, “Just look around you.” Surrounded by his wife, children, and grandchildren, I realized how often we overlook the blessings right in front of us.

My Tío Jaime reminded me to cherish the relationships that are present and to see family not just as biological ties but as intentional, meaningful connections that make life fulfilling.

Consider the beauty of the final moments

A few hours later, Tío Jaime passed away peacefully in his home, surrounded by loved ones. He chose to forgo medication, opting instead for a conscious and intentional departure.

His passing was serene and beautiful, filled with love, gratitude, and the joy of a life well-lived. In his final moments, he showed that even in death, there is profound beauty. His peaceful transition was a powerful lesson for me in the grace of vulnerability.

You are the result of the stories you listen to

I grew up hearing stories of my Tio Jaime’s courage—how he left Colombia in the 1960s to start anew in the United States. He left behind his family, a comfortable life, and his professional reputation, arriving in a foreign country with no English, no contacts, and almost no money.

These stories of his journey didn’t just inspire me; they illuminated my own path. As a child, I told my father that one day I would move to the U.S., just like his brother had. And in 2004, I did. My tío Jaime’s example not only inspired me but also showed me the path I was destined to follow.

?Live fully and intentionally

About a year ago, I convinced my family to gather in Pasto to celebrate my dad’s 83rd birthday. It was the last time my dad and his brothers were together. During that gathering, tío Jaime gave a speech that resonated deeply with me, especially as I’m curious on how to die well.

He reflected on how, throughout his life, he had sought a better existence through books, important people, and significant places. But at 87, he realized that everything he truly needed had always been right in front of him: the love of his family.

He recognized that each of us had our own unique wisdom in living and enjoying life, regardless of titles or wealth.

He told us: “Everything I dreamed of doing with my life was fulfilled by different members of this family. I have everything because I have you.”

Gracias Tío Jaime!

Tío Jaime was my father’s older brother, and today would have been his 88th birthday. To me, he was a legend. He showed me the path by moving to the U.S. at a young age, and before he passed, he guided me once more—by prioritizing family.

His words and actions reminded me to live life fully and intentionally, not by chasing titles or material possessions, but by focusing on what truly matters.