Lessons from my Son

"Leadership is like Parenting"

??????????????I remember the moment my life all changed.?I was standing in a delivery room, Oakville Memorial hospital, on Aug 17, 2021.?After 20 long hours of labour for my wife, it finally happened.?The Doctors rushed in, our child appeared, and I became a father for the first time in my life. “It’s a Boy and he’s perfect” rang out into the room by our OB.?My heart was full, time stood still, and I wept.?

When I finally got to hold my new son, I sang to him. A song that would also become a staple for him in his first months of life.?“In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight.”?It was a song I would sing to him often in his first year.?Something to give him a sense of peace and tranquility in the jungle of life. A world where he can sleep soundly without the fear of being attacked.

??????????????The last time I wrote an article like this, it was three years ago.?Having lost my father a few months prior and being settled at home in the early months of the pandemic.?I was struggling, Exhausted really.?And in a place where I wanted to make some changes in my life. ?I also wanted to process my thoughts and feelings on my father’s legacy, and writing something about what I learned from him was my way of doing it.

??????????????This time is similar; but different.?This time I want to talk about my new Son and what being his father for the past 2 years has meant to me, and more importantly what it has taught me.?During this time I also took on leadership position with Sysco Canada Specialty as CFO, leading a large group.?This was my first-time leading leaders and responsible to set out a corporate vision.?Effectively, taking over a challenged group of companies and helping shape them into something.

??????????????The connection between leadership and parenting is starting to become more real to me.?The weight of having another individuals life in my hands and being totally responsible for their well-being has left me thinking more deeply about ‘being in charge.’?I see now more fully that its really more about ‘taking care of those in my charge’, as the quote goes.

Overall, Parenting has taught me that effective leadership requires a deep sense of responsibility and a willingness to put others first.?I’ve learned that leadership is about giving your people a vision, creating the right environment to succeed, and inspiring other to follow.?These are principles, for me, that apply just as much in my career as they do at home.

?Lesson 1:?Setting a clear vision

“Without a vision, your people will perish.”

As a parent and a CFO, I’m quickly learning on both sides that people appreciate a clear goal and purpose.?I started early with my son James.?I always like to take time to speak into his life.?I’m always telling him “You can be anything in this life you want to be, and I will always be by your side to help you get there.” ?Luckily, my son’s personality is incredibly persistent.?He will seemingly push through any challenge with almost no fear, whether it’s taking his first steps, climbing the stairs or making new friends at daycare, he steps into every challenge with his full self.

??????????????Quite frankly, I want James to approach the world with a clear sense of the possibilities that are available, assuming he’s willing to work for it. ?I also want him to realize early on, that the most satisfying thing in life is helping others, not necessarily personal success. I want that to be his focus and his passion.?And I hope he learns and understands that a lot sooner than I realized it.

??????????????At work, my personal passion was helping advance a struggling but promising group of companies.?I encountered a team and team structure when I joined that was much the same.?Strong core of people, with a lot of promise.?The message I wanted to drive, more than anything, was the message of purpose for our team.?This group, this team, is not just a job, this is a moment in time for your career, and maybe even a defining moment.?I wanted people to feel that this moment was the time for them to do the best work of their lives and I was 100% onboard.

??????????????In general, a clear vision sets the tone for everything that follows.?It provides a roadmap for decision-making and helps to ensure that everyone is working towards a common goal.?Without a clear vision, it is easy for team members to become sidetracked and for projects to lose focus.

In my role as CFO as Sysco Specialty Canada, I work to ensure that our financial strategy aligns with our overall vision for the company.?We have a clear mission to connect the world to share food and care for one another. This mission guides everything we do and it helps us to make decisions that are in the best interest of our customers, employee and shareholders.

As a leader, it is also important to communicate the vision clearly and consistently.?This means ensuring that everyone on the team understands the mission and how their work contributes to it.?It means providing regular updates and feedback, and it means being willing to answer questions and address concerns.

Lesson 2:?Create the right environment.

“If you’re a leader, do everything you can to grow yourself and create the right environment for others to grow.”

???????????I’m learning so much about peoples growth and development is really about creating the right environment. For James, he has shown very high energy and a passion for being active.?So, my wife and I started by getting him a miniature basketball net and also worked hard on the backyard to clear it for playing soccer (my favorite sport as a youth).?We wanted to create a close, safe and accessible place for him to play and develop his athletic abilities.

???????????At work, leading a National team in multiple sites (mostly through a pandemic) required some extra thought on how to make so many different people feel connected and engaged.??Travel bans, different time zones, uncertain economy and played a factor as well.?To counteract this I had regular one on ones and team virtual events to keep people feeling connected to the overall purpose.?I also provided individuals special projects that aligned to their strengths, development areas and passion.

Creating the right environment is about setting the tone for the team. As a leader, it is important to set the tone by modeling the behaviors that you want your team to emulate. If you want your team to be respectful, then you need to model that behavior. If you want your team to be collaborative, then you need to create opportunities for them to work together.?If you want your team to trust each other and you, you need to do things to create that environment.

Finally, creating the right environment is about giving people the resources and support they need to succeed. Just like with parenting, you need to be there for your team, provide them with what they need, and support them as they grow and develop. This means giving them the tools and training they need, as well as providing feedback, guidance, and mentorship.?As a parent, I’m learning that creating the right environment is essential for raising healthy, happy, and successful children. And as a leader, I have found that the same principles apply. By setting the tone, establishing trust, and giving people the resources and support they need to succeed, you can create an environment that inspires and motivates your team to do their best work.

Lesson 3:?Inspiring others to follow.

“Truly remarkable leadership is not just about motivating others to follow, its about inspiring them to become leaders themselves and setting the stage for even greater opportunities for future generations.”

As a father of one (soon to be two), one of the most important things I have learned is that inspiring others to follow is not about exerting power or authority over them, but rather about building trust, establishing a clear vision and leading by example.

???????????“Seek first to understand, then be understood.”?One of the most insightful principles of success in my opinion, and one that has guided me greatly in both leadership and parenting. As a parent, I have found that James is much more likely to listen to me and follow my guidance when I take the time to listen and engage with him first.?In the same way as a leader, I have found that my team is much more likely to trust and follow me when I take the time to truly understand their needs and concerns and provide clear and transparent communication about our goals and objectives.

Finally, as a parent, I have learned the importance of recognizing and celebrating the successes of others.?When James accomplishes something that he is proud of, I make sure to take the time to acknowledge and celebrate their achievements (effectively cheering, clapping and making him laugh and feel good).?In the same way, as a leader, I believe it is important to recognize and celebrate the successes of my team, and to create a culture where everyone feels valued and appreciated.

Overall, my brief experience as a parent so far has taught me that inspiring others to follow is not about exerting control or authority, but rather about building trust, setting a positive example, and recognizing the contributions of others.?These are the core principles, I believe, that will help drive groups and organizations forward.

In summary, I believe that there is a strong connection between leadership and parenting.?I contend that good leaders, like good parents, must prioritize the needs of those under their care, inspire and guide them to reach their full potential, and create a safe and supportive environment where everyone can thrive.?By adopting a nurturing and empowering approach to leadership, we can create a more just and equitable society.